As soon as the pick screen pops up you must secure a farming lane, one easy way to do so is to first pick a carry so that everyone will give up the idea that they might talk you out of it.





Do not accept any other alternatives, a good way to never have to negotiate alternatives is to say muted all right away, even though you don't mute your dog team and secretly laugh at their misery.

Your team needs to know they are just obstacles in your way of farming, this will make it easier for them to understand their position as subhumans.

When one or more of your teammates seems to think they are somehow important/relevant to the game you need to step in and explain their position.



This will often mean you will be solo as am against a trilane, but that's ok.

Firstly because you will not have to share xp with anyone.

Secondly, because if you followed the previous step you already established the rules and your team knows that if you die even once you will start feeding mid, so as soon as you are in trouble they will tp top, save you and run away before they get to leech any xp. Otherwise you can just feed mid and help educate this community.

The only enemy in this game is your own team, you don't care about wining the game, your objective is to farm more than anyone else so they can envy your gpm at the end of the game, the only real obstacle in your way is therefore your own team(by either leeching xp or contesting farm).

Your average teammate:

Your own teammate will often feel confused by the barrage of orders landing on his small and incapable mind and will not accept his place as your servant, this is due to bad upbringing by trash parents but also to oppressed homosexuality.
One way to work around this is to pick treant since he has the highest base damage and grab a quelling blade(make sure to ping every last hit you get)


Note that your team will often think you might be supporting since you picked treant, be sure to make it clear to your team that you will farm.

Because there's nothing else going on in their lives some of your teammates will invest everything they have in one game of dota which will ensure an emotional breakdown:


The only correct way to deal with this is to either sit back and enjoy it or even amplify it by destroying your items when you are about to win.

A more severe example of an emitional break down would look like this:

In this particular example the breakdown was so severe that it drove a woman to think it could talk to a man.

This line will often come up as soon as the late-game hits. The problem is within the dog mentality of your team, thinking that you share the same objective with them.
But for you all that matters is getting more farm regardless of who is wining.
Ignore all the cries for help and enjoy your ez farm.

Since the subhumans in this game are allowed to have an opinion, be prepared for the envy of everyone to be reflected in your reports.



Luckily regardless of what heroes you get, you can still apply these tactics in lp and secure farm.