Unfortunate Spacemen

Unfortunate Spacemen

Not enough ratings
Unfortunate Spacemen: Employee Training Manual
By A Phantom Pain
It would appear that you've decided to buy, and play, Unfortunate Spacemen! Be warned, this isn't your oordinary suspense/horror game, this is something that will test your mental capacity to the limit. Wits and cunning are the name of the game here, you've got to be quick on your feet and even quicker with your trigger finger. Anyone can be the monster, it doesn't matter who they are.

Time to get you briefed on how to deal with them.
   
Award
Favorite
Favorited
Unfavorite
The Basics. [And some survival techniques.]
Upon joining a match, you'll notice that you get a decent screenshot of part of the map in realtime, oftentimes this is the central zone, where most of the players will spawn, or either meet up later, take note of this.

So you've just spawned in, you've got a full tank of that sweet, sweet O2, a trusty standard-issue sidearm by your side, and a general-purpose Class-1 clearance keycard, just a normal day on the space station, right?

It isn't.

ONE of you is not who they claim to be, in this case, they're a massive, extremely fast, dangerous, and deadly shapeshifting beast. Capable of changing to look like any of your fellow spacemen in the blink of an eye, then back into its monster form in a few seconds flat.

Overall, you do NOT want to be locked in a room with this thing.

At this point, you're probably thinking. "Okay, I'm stuck on this space station with a bunch of complete strangers, and one of them happens to be a giant deadly alien that could easily murder me, isn't it game over?"

This brings us to your first advantage you have that the monster doesn't, your gun. The monster does spawn with a weapon, but the standard sidearm doesn't do very much damage, so the monster is very likely to change into their real form and try to take things into CQC to turn you into some diced salad. You can't let that happen, should you spot the monster (Look for a giant, horridly disfigured spacesuit, complete with tentacles and gnashing teeth, althought it might not look like this at first.) the first thing you need to do is get some distance. Do NOT turn your back on the monster when you see it, it is faster than you, and it will catch up reguardless of how much time you spent in P.E. back in the training academy. Instead, backpedal, hold S to strafe in reverse while firing your weapon, if you're lucky enough, you'll score some hits and injure it, and (heaven forbid) possibly drive it off, not to mention the gunfire will attract the attention of your coworkers, who (should) valiantly come rushing to your aid against the horrid beast.

The second advantage you have is rational thinking, the monster doesn't have that (At least we don't think it does.), So think to yourself. "If I was this monster, who would I be? Where would I be going right now? Who's the biggest threat to me that I'd try to kill? What am I going to have for dinner when I get home on tuesday night?" You need to think like the monster, get inside its head and try to predict what it'll do next.

Lets give you an example scenario.
You and a bunch of other spacemen are huddled up in the cafeteria section, you've activated all the uplinks, secured all the research, and swept and polished the landing pads, all that's left is to wait for the last uplink to finish turning on and load into the shuttle.

You then notice that the last Uplink just got turned off, this can only mean one thing, and that's that the monster just did it.

Your fellow spacemen would NEVER attempt to sabotage their only attempt at survival, that's something only a hungry, frenzied abomination of space would do.

Now that you know the monster is somewhere near that transmitter, seeing as it just turned it off, you should go investigate, maybe you can kill it and finally get a promotion past janitorial duty!

This leads me to my next point, never go alone.

The monster can easily murder you in a one-on-one confrontation, and that wimpy little sidearm won't do much to discourage it, remember, strength in numbers.

If the monster had to fight a group of four spacemen, it would think twice about rushing in head-first, it's more likely to try a conservative approach, maybe an ambush or trying to split you up.
If it's just fighting one of you, it'll pounce and turn you into shredded cheese. It doesn't matter what you're doing, ALWAYS stay in a group when possible, that one extra pair of hands (or an extra gun) can end up saving your life.
The Enviornment.
[WIP]
The Hazards
[WIP]

The Airlock:

The merciless vaccuum of Space:

Doors:
The Objectives
[WIP]
The Monster
[WIP]
11 Comments
Slimey Boi 11 Jul, 2020 @ 8:21am 
You had to buy this game before?
GamerBossHarmon 14 Jun, 2020 @ 3:24pm 
i will come back and see if it work
RPGdodger 14 Jun, 2020 @ 10:51am 
You should change intro to, "...It would appear that you've decided to buy, or receive for free..."
SpiderGlitch 14 Jun, 2020 @ 10:44am 
Almighty guide creator, I was thinking it'd be fun to possibly continue this. If you're not going to play anymore, could I?
Sycophant 13 Jun, 2020 @ 10:32am 
friend...
A Phantom Pain  [author] 28 Jul, 2018 @ 11:00pm 
I'm aware of that, and I haven't played in an absolute eternity. If I can find the time to re-install it and give it a go-over, I might be able to update this!
Borker 28 Jul, 2018 @ 7:29pm 
This is two years old.
Kittenpox 28 Jul, 2018 @ 1:43pm 
This might need an update. :-)
Borker 22 May, 2016 @ 4:23pm 
/<O_O>\
[.....:.....]
Borker 22 May, 2016 @ 4:22pm 
Monsters are everywhere