Hello fellow gamer,
Mike the Eel here to inform you how to main pyro in 5 easy steps.

Step 1: The first thing you will want to do as a pyro main is equip a wonderful, balanced weapon known as the Phlogistinator or, for short, The phlog. The phlog is a weapon that grants you crits after doing about 250 points (I think) of damage. The only down side to the phlog is that you have no airblast to reflect projectiles such as a soldier's rockets or a demo's pills or stickybombs. However, you do have what I like to call a "psychological airblast". What I mean by this is that once enemy gamers see that you have the phlog equipped, they will run in the complete opposite direction to avoid being rekt by you, THE AMAZING, TOTALLY SKILLED, PYRO MAIN!!!

Step 2: Hold down the "w" key on your keyboard. The "w" key is what allows you to walk forward as many of you probably know. This will be an essential part of your plan.

Step 3: Make your way to the enemy spawn. When doing this it is imperative that you ignore ANY objectives such as a control point, an intel briefcase, or payload cart. Once you have done this, plant yourself in front of the enemy spawn.

Step 4: Mouse 1. This is the most crucial step in this entire guide. Sooner or later, enemies will begin to emerge from their spawn. It is very important to hold down mouse 1 to ignite those red/blu scumbags.

Step 5: Mouse 2 then Mouse 1. Once you have racked up enough damage, your "mmmph" meter will have reached its limit. You will know when it is full because it will red. Once it is be sure to immediately right click (this is the only time ANY pyro main should EVER have to right click) to cause chaos and completely wipe the enemy team. If you are lucky enough somebody may even curse at you.

It was my pleasure to deliver this guide to all of those aspiring to become pyro mains out there.

P.S. Don't use ANY flame throwers that can airblast. EVER!

Sincerely,
Mike the Eel (Soldier Main)