We are qualified individuals trained under Dr. Deletus of Fetus and Kiddles themselves, the first of which who has a PhD in MVM Diseases and "god" tier TF2 Unusuals. We've also played a damn fair amount of Two Cities, so we have experienced most, if not all, of these "diseases" ourselves.

In this guide, when we name anything "Low-Tour [insert action here]", it is because we have only generally witnessed those with lower tour-counts doing it.








Dr. Deletus(or Minecraftboy387) -
The person with the second highest tour-count of the contributors with around 110-120 when counting in the constant badge deletions. Also has 2-3 tours in all other campaigns.








TraceofCakes -
The next highest below the Dr., this person has around ~50-60 tours of experience in Two Cities, with at least 1 tour in each of the other campaigns.








Shadow Dio(constant name-changer) -
Lowest in tours, but around the same experience level as Trace, with ~43 tours in Two Cities, and at least one tour in all other campaigns

The very first and most easily-spotted disease, Won't shut-the-♥♥♥♥-up-itis, or WSTFUI, is commonly spotted in people of lower tour-counts, though very rarely seen in people with high tour-counts. There are many different types of this disease, so we will list some.






Low-tour babbling:
People affected by this strain will try to get everyone's attention by saying stupid ♥♥♥♥ constantly. These people won't stop until mission is over or they are kicked. If told to shut up, they generally won't stop, even after the game has concluded. (Theorized by Deletus himself)

Low-tour robot callouts:
This strain will cause one or more low-tours to call out where a robot is, even if it is obvious the team knows where it is. Those affected by this strain will usually then blame the team if it isn't destroyed, while he/she had not done ♥♥♥♥. People who do this are typically medic or scout.

Low-tour "GG":
At the end of every single wave, a low tour or multiple low tours will say "gg" in chat without fail.

High-tour WSTFUI:
This strain only affects high-tours.They usually complain about every little thing, like why is the 0- Tour being a 0-Tour, most of the time w/o trying to help them out. Try to avoid at all costs.

11-tour Omniscience:
(This really usually happens when the rest of the team is 1-9 tours) People afflicted with this generally will tell everyone how to play(though wrongly), and won't know what the ♥♥♥♥ he's doing. When called out on being wrong, they will call that low tour "Irrelevant", or try to assert their "higher-tour superiority" but then be useless themselves.


The best way to deal with those afflicted by this disease or many of it's known strains is to either mute the affected subject or kick them from the game.

This disease affects only people of higher tour-counts. This disease entails high-tours forgetting basic mechanics that even low-tours know. This is usually brought on by said high-tours not playing MvM in a long while, but not telling any of their teammates and acting as if they still know what's happening.





One example is when I (Dio) was playing on my 0 Tour alt on Mannhatten. A high tour Engineer told me that Engineer isn't required to block, and left it up to me, a possible Droolie 0-tour, to block scouts. The other High-tour friend he had with him was telling me my Heavy build was bad, though was dealing less damage then me as a supposed "pro" Sniper. Near the end of the game, they had decided to tell us that they had only just that game gotten back into MvM and were extremely rusty.

NOTE: These high tours usually die quite often, even in-between waves. Play with them at your own risk.


Treatment for this ailment generally is long-going, as the only way of fixing it is to "get back in the groove" of playing MvM. This is worth it, as it stops the onset of Stage 2.

Very rare, this stage entails the loss of all motor function in the affected's brain, causing them to do nothing helpful/useful. They have the tendencies of a 1-Tour. It is usually hard for them to function in normal society as all basic mechanics and strategies are gone.






In one of Doctor's games, a player told our medic not to heal the Engineer, EVER. The reasoning behind this was "so he could build shield off of him later", though in the context of everyone in the game getting hurt, i.e. helping to build uber, this makes no sense. This example shows what the onset of this stage is like.


There is no known treatment of this, be afraid and hope you do not one day catch it.

This disease is common among people with higher tour-counts. The onset of this disease results mostly in the inability to have fun in a game, along the inability to be flexible class-wise as is required of high-tours. Any test of their patience, whether through trying out non-meta classes with a team of decently-toured people or asking them to play a class you do not know how to play, will likely result in the affected throwing a temper tantrum.




AFK'ing:
First example is when our good Dr. Deletus went Natascha heavy in a game with a certain Realistik. Realistik thought Deletus was "special" and should be kicked(though Deletus was top damaging, and clearly showing he was experienced). So, in retaliation for the team not kicking Deletus, Realistik underwent a Temper Tantrum and went AFK for a good while before leaving.

Leaving too often:
Second example is when a 600+ got into a game with Low tours, he saw the team would not have enough experience to finish the mission, so he stated he would afk until the first wave is done, so he could leave without penalty.

Inexperienced Scouts:
The final example is when a Scout loses 5 Dollars in a wave (And the bonus). High-Tours with this disease generally yell at the scout, the team, and then will throw an AFK Temper Tantrum. Then usually end up leaving anyways, no matter the outcome.


There is no known cure for this besides kicking them, though they state they are "Carrying" the team. Avoid at all costs.

This disease generally affects those of the low- to mid-tour range(15-30).Those affected always believe they are helping, when in reality they don't know how to put their own pants on in the morning without mommy's help. They typically have no clue on how to upgrade so they do whatever they want. They do not try to ask for any kind of help upgrades-wise.

Example #1:
Being told you should be upgrading your Grenade Launcher when you're a demo and not on Botbash. Especially when you upgrade both Grenade and Sticky. This is unhelpful, as most of the time a medic-picker Demo will need all of his money in his Sticky to kill medics effectively.

Example #2:
Being told to get projectile penetration first/ get penetration maxed/ upgrade Knockback Rage first. This is unhelpful as Heavy only ever really needs one projectile penetration the whole game, along with knockback rage not being implicitly important to begin with.

Example #3:
Engineer getting Disposable Sentry and Two-Way Teleporter at the beginning of a mission. This is self-explanatory.


The nature of this disease makes it more innocent than most, since it's only brought about by inexperience, so curing it generally consists of helping them correct their upgrading advice through detailed explanation of why what they were upgrading before wasn't as effecient as what they could upgrade. If they decide not to listen and are nice enough, but don't entirely ♥♥♥♥ up your game, you might as well keep 'em in. If they throw a tantrum about it, though, it's usually best to mute or kick them.

This particular disease is especially prominent, as most people above 5-10 tours has most likely run into one of these poor souls. People affected are generally 0- or 1-tours, with them choosing the class that seems easiest in normal play, or Pyro, at the beginning of the game. These people, if allowed to stay Pyro, will usually have skewed upgrades and enact the "W+M1" strategy, which almost always results in too many deaths and not enough damage/support.



Another fairly innocent "disease" brought about by inexperience. This one, like the first shown, can be remedied most effectively by explaining to the affected how Pyro isn't the most efficient choice for the team, and that they may want to play something else(preferably Heavy). If the person who's Pyro is simply trolling, kicking is the best option.

Invalid Argument disease:
When someone puts up a completely pointless argument against you or someone else in the game, for no reason. It will usually involve engineers building placements, upgrades, or peoples cosmetics. Some arguements can arise from the team not winning a round and blame going to the wrong people or having lost the point.

What the ♥♥♥♥ are you thinking disease (WTFT):
People inflicted with this disease tend to be of no help to anyone. They are usually dead on the floor and crying out for a revive if they are not a medic already. Some examples include:
- Being a medic with the stock medi-gun.
- Thinking you can actually play without ubersaw as a medic.
- Arguing with the a low tour that Firing Speed is useless.
- Arguing with others about how Firing Speed is useless on a Sentry.
God help the person with this disease. There is no curing this if they are a low tour, no matter how hard you try.

Scout, please stop:
Using Wrap Assassin and Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol. I don't need to say anything else.

Soldier this isn't plr_hightower:
Being serious they use a Rocket Jumper and the Market Gardner.

"I saw it on youtube" Syndrome:
They saw one of their favorite TF2 youtubers do this once and they think it will work with every single persons play style just because they saw it work once. This is very rare because most low tours who have this do not actually learn how to play.

High Tour Yelling Syndrome:
WHERE A HIGH TOUR HAS TO YELL EVERYTHING. IT AFFECT 1 OUT OF EVERY 5 HIGH TOURS. THERE IS NO CURE FOR THIS.

Blindness Syndrome:
This afflicts many low tours.This occurs when a low tour joins a game in-progress and choose a class that's already been picked.

Unusual = Skill-itis:
This affects anyone from low tours to high tours. This occurs when someone has unusuals (usually ♥♥♥♥-tier) and act as if you have more skill than a high tour player. Very rarely does it affect a high tour player. If it happens to affect one, their knowledge reverses and turns into High-Tour Syndrome: Stage 1 or 2. (Refer to them above in this guide).

Crutch-Cannon-itis:
When a Soldier uses the Bad Box (aka ♥♥♥♥ Box, Crutch Box, Bad Soldier Box, what's a medic Box, how do i dodge Box, Trash Box) and still dies. They constantly call for medic, and don't know how to upgrade. (Read: Upgrade Masters)

"Direct" Defenders:
These are the low tours that will go to their grave saying that the direct hit is useful in ANY situation even when clearly proven wrong. They claim that it does more damage. They do not realize that there is a decrease in the blast radius most of the time and waste money on rocket specialist.

Weaponitis:
"No Scout, you don't need to use Bonk! Atomic Punch and Three-Rune Blade."
Using any of the following weapons listed is prohibited. Someone using any of these is aflicted with Weaponitis. The highlighted weapons are never to be used for ANYTHING.

Weapons to not use: DIRECT HIT, Tomislav, Bad Box (aka ♥♥♥♥ Box, Crutch Box, Bad Soldier Box, what's a medic Box, how do i dodge Box, Trash Box) Liberty Launcher, Cow Mangler, Huo-Long Heater, Eureka Effect, Degreaser, Your Eternal Reward, Neon Annihlator, Wrap Assassin, Guillotine, Scorch Shot (RIP Giants Being Pushed), Loch-n-Load, Pretty-Boys Pocket Pistol, Equalizer, Escape Plan, Huntsman (Stop), Caber, Boston Basher / Three-Rune Blade, Tribalman's Shiv, Gunslinger, ♥♥♥♥-On-A-Stick.

Through many of years, Dr. Deletus has gathered information about these diseases, and he is still searching for cures. We hope this guide helps you in your journey at the wonderous place of Two Cities Mann Up.


Also, for a good experience, queue with atleast 3 other people. You will not regret it.



Thank you, and hopefully this guide got to you.