Your questions are simple:
How can i be gewd and be better than nip and fnatic?
-practice, mountain dew, and the reflexs of a cyborg which you will obtain by this guide
Whats mountain dew?
-the honey of gods
I like reddit memes too fab :^)
-That isnt a question, but it does raise one, what is reddit?
What is this 'outside' everyone speaks of?
-'Outside' is an urban legend, it doesnt exist.
Fabulousss why didnt you just edit your old guide?
-editing would imply i have made a mistake, there are no such things as mistakes in mlg

Now that you are ready, we can get started...

incase you didnt realize, csgo is a point and click adventure game.
anything with a scope should be ez. but since most weapons you cant aim down the sight, youll have to spam and let the recoil do the work

Pro tip: Moving and shooting hurts your accuracy, but its not like you need it or anything, right?



congrats, you can shoot and kill. ur an expert in gorilla warfare with over 300 confirmed kills

step juan

make sure to add some famous Esport/mlg/nip team name in front of yours to make kids think that you are pro.

Setppp 2

don't use rage comics, 9gag, reddit, MLP, furry, brazilian, mexican, russian or anything that isn't in english as a name or team name.
anime is ♥♥♥♥ but your probably a ♥♥♥♥ like me so no point in hiding it
This is right

thanks to the comment section of this guide someone has shown us EXACTLY what NOT to do when using the steam community.

This is wrong

making a private profile is cancer 9gag tier

This is wrong again

Step tree

You need a mlg name
XxxMlgquickscoper_420xx is pretty good as a start but youll need to move on
A name should define you.
Example: BOOM HEADSHOT!!!! or Jet Fuel can't melt Steel are some pretty good name of yourself.

Weapon skins are csgo's prime ranking system
liek tf2, hats are skills. and without hats you are nothing
same thing applies to Dota2 and csgo


To be better, youll need named weapons
Like all cod experts know, the name is what makes the player
Get_right isnt named get_wrong, simply because he makes the right moves 60% of the time
-take note of that

Name all your guns

You are dewing it right


All bp images r of my bp
Take notes, this is how you become very bad good mlg like me

de_dust - e-Sports loved this one
de_dust2 - when Lord Gaben the All powerful created this map, he created the most overplayed, overrated and soulless map of all time. Picture of the map below


de_nuke - A good map, with no nuke killstreak?
de_aztec - reenact the fun the spanish had when they destroyed the natives
cs_militia - never a good map

cs_office - A map for edgy teens saying f*k the police on t side, until the team switch where youll see the same kids on ct side, however they will be crying because of your auto
see down below for more details on office map http://www.reddit.com/r/Anarchism/comments/15rvs9/basically_just_a_bunch_of_edgy_teenagers/

cs_backalley - the same place you got raped
cs_Italy - no pasta = bad map, its like volvo doesnt love us
de_cobble- i rather shove rocks in my butt than play this
de_train - a ♥♥♥♥ map redone into... a ♥♥♥♥ map .
de_inferno - chickens, bells and a scary dog in the corner of the map
de_vertigo -best map, no exceptions
de_mirage- inspired by darude sandstorm

On a serious note You can be only as good as the equipment you play on.
How do i know this? I used to be MG2 (truth) the best rank playing on a deathadder razer and razer keyboard. However things broke and now im on a 52 inch tv with a hp mouse and hp keyboard with the w & s key broken. Now I have the reaction time of silver 1 while playing around 15 fps. Im not saying go overboard buy all mlg flashy stuff
And mountain dew for powers above this earth

Ur ded f*cking kiddo

how 2 deal with them?
Remember, the best counter to a smurf is another smurf.
Thats why this game is called counter strike
(did you find my joke funny)

Things that go pew pew were made by The Jews Adolf Hitler Andrew Jackson after realizing his favorite country, Canada the United States Iraq, needed something to spread freedom and the gospel Burqas and public executions to savages the Infidel.



Handguns
The little thing that you start off with since you already lost your dignity
Its worth noting the Deagle, which is a mini-awp that requires 1337 ski11z or the CZ-75 which sprays like a old man's pride at a urinal

Shotguns
Not worth noting

Sub-Machine Guns
Pro90 for when aimming isnt required


Assault Rifles
AK-47 - The only rifle any Terrorist ever uses.
M4A1 or the loud M4A4 - The only rifle any Counter-fun people use.
FAMAS - Compels you to surrender to the first enemy you see. (Like a true french) Takes its magazine up the butt (Like a true french) and comes with a free white flag and garlic bread, (Like a true french)

Machine Guns
Negev- Think of Rambo while listening to Giga Pudding Puddi Puddi Song
M249- 700 Dollars less than the Negev while only having 50% of the fun. Not worth it

Grenades and other stuff
Defuse Kit- No kit no life
Knife - The best thing to kill other things with. You'll need this to be MLG
Kevlar- You dont need this
High Explosive Grenade - a rock
Smoke Grenade - Throw it in front of teammates
Flash McBang - See Smoke Grenade

Sniper Rifles
Autosnipers = kids yelling
Scout - Some kind of bb gun
See next line for the only weapon worth using

"Please stop using that weapon, its so f*ckin' overpowered, stop please. (5 Seconds later) F*CKKKKKKK" - everyone but you


Specifications
Weight 6.5 kg (14.3 lb) 2 heavy
Length 1,180 mm (46.5 in) (Like my d*ck)
Barrel length 660 mm (26.0 in) (Like my d*ck)

The AWP is the worse best weapon in a game. Killing people with an AWP is like crushing hopes and dreams, and you would like that, would you?. Getting headshot with said AWP, will create a MLG montages and youll be famous. If someone kills you while holding this weapon they are using hack, no questions asked.



Previous video from older guide~


Muh feels > ur guns


This is how you look bad good like me

legit

wallbanging is an art form. It is when you shoot through a wall, door or object. if you didnt figure this out yet, then maybe you should be playing cod
As many will tell you in csgo. Gabe has a good system in place.

- 尺凡爪Θ$ or whatever his name is

I personally recommend this website which you can test and create new crosshairs[tools.dathost.net]

or you can use mine, which have a fabulousss pink
cl_crosshairalpha "255";cl_crosshaircolor "5";cl_crosshaircolor_b "166";cl_crosshaircolor_r "250";cl_crosshaircolor_g "50";cl_crosshairdot "0";cl_crosshairgap "2";cl_crosshairsize "6";cl_crosshairstyle "3";cl_crosshairusealpha "1";cl_crosshairthickness "1";cl_fixedcrosshairgap "2";cl_crosshair_outlinethickness "1";cl_crosshair_drawoutline "0";

Video name is 'This video will make you MLG' made by senpai kush
my thanks go out to him

nothing personal kid

gl hf gg wp no re
enjoy your 5 years of glory and the 80 years of regretting your career choice because the game you got good at got out of style.



byebye, if you are adding me, leave some mlg/♥♥♥♥ comment so i know its about this guide or something. my pc is ded so dont expect an add right away