Be My Horde

Be My Horde

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How to Be the Worst Necromancer and Still Win
By Yito
WELCOME TO THE HORDE, BABY
You’re Moriana. You're mean, magical, and morally bankrupt.
Your job? Kill everyone. Raise their corpses. Repeat until nothing is left but you and the screaming souls of your enemies.
This is not a love story. This is a corpse-based business strategy simulator.

STEP 1: KILL STRATEGICALLY (or Just Kill. That Works Too.)
Enemies come in all shapes and sizes:

Fast guys: Kill 'em first. Otherwise, they’ll kite you like it's a League match.

Tanky boys: Save them for dessert. Then raise their big butts and send them back at their friends.

Wizards: No. Just... no. :D

Pro Tip: Everything is a resource if you're a bad enough person.

STEP 2: RAISING THE DEAD – ZOMBIE INTERNS
You're not just killing for fun. You're building a team. A very... undead team.
Each corpse = free real estate.

Zombies don’t need sleep, insurance, or respect.
They do, however, walk like your uncle at a wedding. Plan formations accordingly.
Also, you can sacrifice them for powers. It’s not evil. It’s resource optimization.

SANITY MANAGEMENT FOR FUN AND PROFIT
Feeling bad for raising the dead? Don’t.
They attacked first. Probably.
Now they get free dental.
You named your zombie “Greg.” That’s emotional growth. ( the best think u can ever do )

AND DONT FORGET

You are not the hero. Not the anti-hero.
You are the boss music.
So go out there. Kill things. Raise them.
And show the world that even a rotting corpse can build a legacy.







   
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1 Comments
Johann Swagbastian Caulk 29 Aug @ 9:14am 
Maybe give actual advice instead while failing to make funny jokes