Can you add me mate?

I sexually Identify as a football. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of getting booted across a field or smacked towards goalposts with tremendous speed. People say to me that a person being a football is Impossible and I’m ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful and spherical in shape. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with air and stitch me up with polyurethane or polyvinyl chloride. From now on I want you guys to call me “Size 5” and respect my right to give you a great lot of fun with mates and probably work up a good sweat. If you can’t accept me you’re a sfairesphobe and need to check your sporting privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

would you like to add me, i'm interested in your item

Could you add me to the trade discussions?

Yo!add me up,i'd like to deal with you