You want to be MVP while making the game the LEAST amount of fun for the enemy team. The one thing that would always bring me joy, is someone else's lack of it. You live by these words now.










There is no other reason to play versus. If you are a casual portrait frame farmer I hope you get no progression and you lose connection to these premium dedicated servers everytime before you finish your match.





Also if you have never played PvE go play that. You will get viciously r♥ped in every single lobby just based on map knowledge (not talking mechanics).

Your time as a person is valuable(congrats by wasting it on vermintide), if you see 3 lowbob hardstuckers that are not even green rank (or close to it) just leave the game and go next. The only exception would be you absolutely cancerstomping the 4 orphans on the enemy team, granted you have the willpower and mental capacity to carry the 3 homeless apes on your team.

Dodge list

• Unchained
  
• Grail Knight
  
• Slayer
  
• Non pre-made Warrior Priest (your ass is not getting ulted lil bro 😭😭)

If you ever see anything from the list mentioned above in your team just eject yourself from the lobby. That way you save yourself from balding and raging at your screen like a sperg.

If you're raging already look at this dog to calm down:

Whoever can out-cheese the other team more will win, simple as. Btw enable voice chat so you can cooperate with your team better someone (me) can yell racial slurs at you through it.

• Foot-Knight
  
• Handmaiden
  
• Outcast Engineer
  
• Warrior Priest (if premade or you think your team can snipe specials)
  
• Pyromancer (or whatever that isn't unchained and you're comfortable with)

Merc Kruber is also good due to instant revive ult.


If you're feeling like your parents didn't love you enough or you want to rage-bait or farm salt/whatever cope excuse you want to come up with feel free to cornerjump/BW clip out of bounds and play the game as safely as possible. That way the enemy team has experienced the least amount of fun while facing you.

This might be the hardest part of the game since you have to actually use your brain to make 6 (six) educated choices on what talents to pick. Here's the good news: if your IQ is in the 2 digit range you will probably not f♥ck this up. You can always look up a guide right? If u see someone with bulwark immediately ragequit as that person has 1 iq at most.

Shield is good. If your class can take a shield you take it. Shield blocks ratlings and generates infinite THP with stagger thp talent. You do not need to know more than this. Handgun/crossbow to oneshot specials. If you can't aim time to buy Kovaaks or Aimlabs (or play Engineer Trollhammer).

Spam globes through floors (they go through ceillings - eg. Righteous Stand map 2). Hook through/around walls and out of bounds (roof-hook on Against the Grain). Abuse all glitches and exploits that you've learned in your PvE runs. All map skips.

Just make the game not fun for the enemy team. You receive immediate MVP spot in my heart if someone from the enemy team ragequits.


If you have r♥tarded teammates you will have to coordinate them somehow. Think of them as cattle. They're just there so they can be slaughtered. By no means should you do anything that would put you at risk while helping them. They are all selfish and do not think about your well-being. If they refuse to follow whatever genius idea you've proposed, ignore them and play the game as you want. Bait them, use them as free bodyblock or just leave - it's not ragequitting when you do it. Geniuses can try to think for them and play around them (3 digit IQ required, be careful you might hurt yourself).

Congrats! You've done it. You won the game, farmed xp, farmed rewards and now you get to type ggez into all chat. Bonus points if you've managed to do it under 2 maps. You're MVP, I'm sure your parents are proud of your accomplishment. Remember to flex hard to obtain portrait frames and character skins.

Remember, there is NO shame in qutting like a filthy casual. Just figure out how to cope.

Worry not if you got stomped. Here are some handy excuses that you can use to make yourself feel better:

• It's not your fault
  
  This one is absolutely major. Find someone in your team to blame for your mistakes. You did everything perfectly if only your handless teammates were the same skill level as you. Extra bonus if you pick some foreigner that can't properly defend himself as he doesn't speak english.
  
  
• The enemy team is cheating
  
  Enemy team used bugs against you or even worse, they were cheating. Ragequit as you should, no one wants to play an unfair match.
  
  
• It was lag
  
  Your awesome McDonald wifi couldn't handle versus' dedicated servers. DDoS is also blameable.
  
  
• The game is buggy
  
  Blame the devs. We all know this game has many major bugs and that's what happened to you. Blame AI, map collision, whatever you can come up with.
  
  
  

read the actual guide here:





https://steamproxy.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3372061580