Types of manipulation and how to spot them.
I will teach you how to spot manipulation via examples; and signs to look out for.

This is NOT a guide on how to manipulate people; if that's what you are looking for, you are not welcome here.

Video version available here:

Gaslighting, one of the most common:

Gaslighting is a type of psychological manipulation that involves making someone question their reality, memory, or perceptions.
Undermining someone's own sense of judgement, as to have control over them by making them rely on the manipulator.

Ways a manipulator will do this varies greatly; albeit they often resort to the following, all of which are easier to spot once you know about them and you start evaluating their actions with this information:

Outright lying; repeatedly insisting that an event or behaviour the victim experienced never happened and that they are remembering it wrong; or them twisting what happened.

Name calling; calling the victim crazy, psycho, or schizo as to knock self confidence when their called out, to undermine their confidence.

Spreading rumours and gossip about the victim, or telling the victim that other people are talking about them; as to put fear or paranoia into them.

Avoiding confrontation; changing the subject or refusing to listen when confronted about a lie or other gaslighting behaviours.

Minimizing or downplaying their hurtful behaviours or words often saying something like, “It was just a joke” or “You’re way too sensitive”
Or telling the victim that they are overreacting when calling them out.

Blame shifting or Scapegoating in relationships; deflecting responsibility or shifting it by, for example; claiming that if the victim acted differently, they wouldn’t treat them like this, so it’s really their fault.

Isolating, separating the victim from friends and family who might recognize the gaslighting symptoms; usually by noticing the other methods.

Categories of Gaslighting:

Gaslighting also typically falls into 1 of 5 general types; albeit the abuser may be using a mix of them.
These 5 being:

Outright Lying:
The abuser lies to them even when there’s evidence to the contrary.
An example being: they insist that they didn’t call their ex even when the number shows up on their list of calls.
Or, a co-worker insisting they sent the victim the information needed, but they never got it and they can’t, or wont, show them the email.

Coercion:
involves using force, punishment, or threats to manipulate the victim.
Examples of this being:
Giving a partner the cold shoulder when they spend time with someone else as to emotionally deprive them.
Or threatening to get outright violent if they see someone or do something.

Scapegoating:
The gaslighter deflects blame onto someone else to avoid having to take responsibility; examples of this being:
Blaming their parents for their bad habits rather than trying to change.
Shifting the blame for a failed project on to a coworkers mistakes; despite it not being their responsibility.
Or a gaslighter may tell the victim that they cheated or plan to because they weren’t attentive enough.

Reality Questioning:
this type of gaslighting is especially harmful to the victim’s mental health; sowing self-doubt and confusion.

The abuser claims that the victim, is remembering things incorrectly,
or tells them they’re crazy because they can’t remember an event or conversation; which never happened at all to begin with.

An example of this being when a family member tells a youngling a terrible event causing trauma simply never happened, was a dream, or wasn’t what they thought it was.

Trivialising:

This type of gaslighting is the minimising or dismissing the victim’s feelings, experiences, or successes.
Destroying the victims self esteem.

Examples of this being;
Calling them oversensitive when sharing their emotions.
Belittling how much they care about things outside the relationship.
Undermining their achievements with comparisons to others.

And with that; while this covers the majority of methods they use; there are a few less common ones which I’ll list off:

Those being:

Bringing in a third party to reinforce their lies; which is another method known as “Triangulation”.
Fabricating or altering evidence to make something seem real or believable.
Covering up potential holes in their deceptions by hiding evidence that would oppose it.
Withholding vital information.
Saying things with very specific wording to push you to whatever outcome they want.
And moving things or disorganising things to sew confusion and make you doubt yourself.

There is very likely other things they will do outside of these; albeit I’ve covered as much as I can reliably list on here.

EDP445 Activity; Grooming is a pattern of behaviours that predators use in a variety of ways to gain power over a youngling; so they can manipulate them into sexual acts, how they do this can vary greatly; but this is how it typically happens:

1. Targeting:
The predator will target younglings by creating fake profiles online, usually pretending to be a youngling within the same age group and starting contact online.
Sometimes, they will also target younglings within their close friend, or family circle.

2. Gaining Access:
The predator carefully establishes trust with the youngling by making them feel special, usually through gifts, excessive compliments, and attention.
This being incredibly dangerous to vulnerable younglings who do not experience much attention in their daily life.

“Love bombing” being the most common way they do this; Love bombing is an emotional manipulation technique that involves giving someone excessive compliments, attention, or affection to eventually control them.

3. Trust Development:
The perpetrator slowly becomes a consistent presence in the younglings life; having the appearance of a friendly, casual, or whatever relationship to most people.
younglings are mostly oblivious to the dangerous nature of these relationships as the predators actively works to obscure the lines between normal relationships; and their grooming behaviours.

4. Desensitisation to Sexual Content & Touch:
When a certain level of trust is established the groomer starts to desensitise the youngling to touching and sexual content.
Often by creating physical closeness; or exposing the youngling to explicit sexual content, in order to create an opportunity for Sexual Abuse (CSA) and Sexual Exploitation.

5. Maintaining Control:
Predators often use their power over a victim through secrecy and feelings of shame to maintain control over them.
In some cases, perpetrators might utilize self-made explicit material to extort younglings into extending the abusive relationship.

While these 5 stages are often case-specific and looks different for every victim; these are the most common stages of its progression.

But as to how you can know its happening; signs a youngling is being groomed include:

1.sudden changes in behaviour, such as spending more or less time online.
2.spending more time away or going missing from home or school.
3.being secretive about how they’re spending their time, including when using online devices.
4.having unexplained gifts, big or small, real or digital.
5.misusing alcohol and/or drugs.
6.having a friendship or relationship with a much older person.
7.developing sexual health problems.
8.using sexual language you wouldn’t expect them to know.
9.seeming upset or withdrawn.
10.signs of mental health problems; such as anxiety or depression.

Albeit do keep in mind; It's rare for a youngling to tell an adult about being groomed; and they may not feel able to seek help because they:

1.are unaware that they're being groomed.
2.believe they are in a caring relationship and are worried about jeopardising it.
3.are scared of what the groomer will do if they speak out.
4.don't want to get the groomer in trouble.
5.blame themselves for getting involved in the relationship.
6.are ashamed or worried about sharing what’s happened to them with other people.

So; if you suspect a youngling is being groomed; I do advise you report it to the proper authorities; so it can be investigated by skilled professionals.

Indoctrination:

Indoctrination is the process of inculcating (teaching by repeated instruction) a person or people into an ideology or to make them accept a set of beliefs uncritically.

This typically occurs when institutions, like schools and teachers for example, or even governments; present certain kinds of rules, ideas or information; such as religious doctrines or political views; as fact; when they are really just opinion or belief from the institution.

This being pretty easy to spot; as often propaganda like materials will be used as a means to indoctrinate the target audience or member.

Radicalization is the process by which a person or group develops extreme political, social, or religious beliefs, or becomes involved in extremist ideologies.

As to how this happens, it can happen in a number of ways; geopolitical changes, assassinations, political developments, societal pressure or changes, etc; and manipulation from religious or political groups, or people acting on behalf of them.

The way groups, or members associated with them usually radicalize people; is through methods very similar to grooming, gaslighting, and indoctrination, or a mix of aspects from some, or all of them.

Albeit; the victim will often give off signs of this happening.

The signs of radicalisation typically being:
1.isolating themselves from family and friends.
2.unwillingness or inability to discuss their views.
3.increased levels of anger or frustration.
4.talking as if from a scripted speech.
5.a sudden disrespectful attitude towards others.
6.increased secretiveness, especially around internet use.

Albeit this may vary; some may even show other behaviours; such as:
1.accessing extremist content online or downloading or spreading propaganda material.
2.justifying the use of violence to solve societal issues.
3.altering their style of dress or appearance to accord with the manipulators faction.
4.being unwilling to engage with people who they see as different, or as opposition.
5.using certain symbols associated with the manipulators faction.

Regarding what to do in this situation; if it’s somebody that you know well, try talking to them about what you’ve noticed if you feel comfortable or safe doing so.

Albeit be aware that your concern may not be welcome at first, and the person may get angry, hostile, or defensive.

You could also try talking to other family and friends around them to see if they have noticed anything similar before seeking expert advice.

Said experts will vary depends on where you are dear viewer; so I would advise researching into that yourself.

Blackmailing:

Blackmailing is to demand money or another benefit from someone in return for not revealing compromising or damaging information about them.

For example; threatening to expose a politician for cheating on their wife to the media; in exchange for money.



Moving the goalposts:

"Moving the goalposts" is an idiom that means to change the rules or requirements to make something more difficult to achieve.

Which is often used by manipulators to undermine someone's efforts.

An example being: A supervisor might change the necessary conditions for a promotion, such as requiring additional training or a higher level of productivity; in a way that undermines someone specific or a group of people.

This being fairly easy to notice on its own; due to the blatantly unfair nature of what their doing; albeit much harder if gaslighting is involved to cover it up.



Straw man argument:

A straw man argument is a warped version of an opponent's argument that's easier to attack.

Often done by characterizing the opponent in one of several ways:

Taking it to the extreme:
Person 1 says "We should regulate plastic bags as they damage the environment." to which Person 2 responds "So you want to ban all plastic bags, making it impossible for people to carry things? That's insanity!"

Warping it:
If someone argues that cell phones should be banned from classrooms as they're distracting, to which a friend responds
"So you think we should get rid of all technology in the classroom and return to the stone age?",
that is a straw man argument.

Exaggeration
A youngling responds to their parent's "You are being annoying, stop it." by asking "Why do you hate me?" The youngling's response is a straw man as they exaggerate the parent's position.

Misrepresentation:
In a political viewpoint, a straw man argument may ask "Why do you want to take away everyone's guns?" when someone supports restricting the sale of military grade weapons.

Denial:
A straw man argument may ask "Are you denying climate change exists?" when someone says that regulations to counter climate change may burden smaller businesses.

Misattribution:
If someone says they "love the color blue" and someone else says that "red is better", while claiming that the first person hates the color red, that's a straw man argument.



Projection:

Projection is when someone puts their own thoughts, feelings, or traits onto another person or group.
Albeit; Projection is also a psychological defence mechanism that can be used as a manipulative tactic; often along side scapegoating; albeit it can appear in other ways.

For example, a manipulator may claim that someone is trying to manipulate them, or the victim of their manipulation caused their actions.

Narcissists also often use projection as a means to reinforce their self-image as superior and flawless.
For example, a narcissist may accuse others of lying if they themselves are being dishonest, or will accuse others of being jealous if they themselves are.

A way to identify projection; is to pause and ask yourself:
“Is this me, or them?"

And to look for the following signs, do they:
1.They make accusations or claims without proof or evidence.
2.They have emotional reactions that are disproportionate for the situation.
3.They express criticism that fully denounces people or actions.
4.They are extremely defensive when questioned on their behaviour.
5.They are hyper critical of others. For example, they may judge others, looks or skills.
6.They may see every other person as being insecure or anxious to hide their own insecurities.
And; projections are often the kind of thing that pops up in the heat of an argument; is that when their behaviour appears?



Feigning ignorance:
A manipulation tactic where someone acts as if they don't know or understand something when they actually do; basically acting dumb.



Financial leeching:
Financial leeching is a form of financial abuse, that comes in many forms;

Pretending to be someone's friend or lover over a long period of time; only taking and not giving, while doing the bare minimum to maintain the relationship.
Pressuring or coercing someone on their will, lasting power of attorney, property or inheritance.
Exploiting someone's financial affairs.
Money being stolen or misused.
Lying as to attain money through fraud.

This can be spotted through the obvious disappearance of money; the one sidedness of a relationship; blatant use of coercive methods, etc.



Subliminal manipulation:
Subliminal manipulation: is a technique that involves presenting information with a method that is so fast or hidden that people receive and respond to it without actually realising it.
Often used by advertisers and politicians to alter people's beliefs, feelings, and actions.

Subliminal manipulation most often being delivered through messages hidden in the background of audio; or split second visuals that vanish before they can be identified.

While the actual validity of this is heavily disputed by scientists; I would still advise being cautious of it.



Guilt Tripping:
A form of emotional manipulation that involves making someone feel guilty to control or influence their actions.

Examples of this being:

Past actions:
"After all I've done for you, you really can't do this one thing?" This phrase utilizes their past actions to create a sense of obligation and guilt.

Neglect:
"Fine, I guess I'll just do it myself; since no one else will" This phrase implies the person is neglectful or uncaring.

Shame:
"Aren't you ashamed of yourself for not buying that car, after I've gone through all this work to fill out the credit application?"

Heartbreak:
"It would break your mother's heart to hear you defend those immoral, lewd books in that way."

This type of speech is designed to deliberately play on the feelings their connected with; and can easily be spotted if you focus on the wording and emphasis their using.



False promises; also known as "future ♥♥♥♥♥♥":

A manipulative tactic often used by narcissists to keep their victims invested in a relationship; often as part of a larger tactic to get what they want.

Examples of how it happens being:

Creating illusion:
The narcissist makes false promises about the future; to create the illusion of a strong connection, investment, or relationship.

Distorting reality:
The narcissist's false promises can create a warped view of reality, tricking the victim into thinking the promises will happen.

Keep the victim gripped:
The narcissist will continue to make promises and take little, or the absolute minimum action to keep them, keeping the victim invested in the relationship.

Some examples of future ♥♥♥♥♥♥ include:
Promising to call later but never doing so.
Promising to go on vacation together, yet never taking the steps to make that happen.


And lastly; there is just straight up, a manipulator using someone's lack of information to exercise influence over them by feeding them misinformation, in countless ways.

Which can be best avoided by researching into things yourself.

Resource links:

https://wave-network.org/list-of-helplines-in-46-countries/

https://refuge.org.uk/i-need-help-now/how-we-can-help-you/national-domestic-abuse-helpline/

https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_domestic_violence_hotlines

https://dsahelpline.org/

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/gender-violence/domestic-violence-and-abuse-getting-help/

Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance.

Argentina: +5402234930430
Australia: 131114
Austria: 017133374
Belgium: 106
Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05
Botswana: 3911270
Brazil: 212339191
Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223
Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal)
Croatia: 014833888
Denmark: +4570201201
Egypt: 7621602
Finland: 010 195 202
France: 0145394000
Germany: 08001810771
Holland: 09000767
Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000
Hungary: 116123
Iceland: 1717
India: 8888817666
Ireland: +4408457909090
Italy: 800860022
Japan: +810352869090
Mexico: 5255102550
New Zealand: 045861048
Netherlands: 09000113
Norway: +4781533300
Philippines: 028969191
Poland: 5270000
Russia: 0078202577577
Spain: 914590050
South Africa: 0514445691
Sweden: 46317112400
Switzerland: 143
United Kingdom: 116 123
USA: 18002738255

I made the video as a means of alerting people to how others can use them.
I hope this guide, the video; and the resources I've provided will be helpful in protecting you from such.
Last thing I want is to see anyone get hurt in such a way.

Please stay safe.