I think the best way to move forward is to consolidate your vassals. Give away kingdom, and Duchy level titles to your most loyal vassals. That way thy'll have to manage those lands under you for you. Also, maybe change title revocation laws so that you can take back the titles from your siblings when they inherit land after your character's death. At least that's what helps me a great deal in stabilizing the realm after death. Always, leave some cash over for mercenaries in
case anyone tries to rebel for Independence.

unfortunately cant get primo till 1300s

You might have to change your succession laws.

unfourtanely i cant figure out how to stop my big ass empire from breaking up into smaller empires when i die :(

Big Scandi

Nice