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HELLDIVERS™ 2 > Guides > THETA 🌭 ZERO's Guides

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Player Archetypes You Will Encounter

By THETA 🌭 ZERO

The types of players you will encounter online according to their stratagem preferences.

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Created by

THETA 🌭 ZERO
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Category: Characters, Classes, Co-op, Game Modes, Gameplay Basics, Multiplayer, Secrets, Story or Lore, Walkthroughs, Weapons

Languages: English

Posted

Updated

15 Apr, 2024 @ 10:31pm

24 Jun, 2024 @ 11:08pm

21,913	Unique Visitors
411	Current Favorites

Guide Index

Overview

Push CTRL + F to find your stratagem.

NO AIM, NO GAME

NO AIM, NO BRAIN

PANSY PACK

RAMBO SACK

CUCK BUBBLE

SHIELD GOD

METACANNON

LITTERBUG

GONORRHEA GUN

PISS CANNON

TRASH MAN

LEVEL 50 CADET

GRIEFTHROWER

AMMO DUMPER

LMAO BOX

BABY'S FIRST AMR

RELOAD FETISHIST

CASUAL FILTER

チャージビーム

CALLING IN A SUPPLY DROP

MADE IN SUPER CHINA

WHOOPSIES

WHOOPSIES PART II

300 IQ DEMIGOD

GATLING MACHINE GUN SENTRY

"JUST LOOK FOR THE RED, BRO"

THE GENTLEMAN'S MINES

CHAD BUBBLE

CONTROL FREAK

MINI METACANNON

SUPER EARTH SUPER SOAKER

FRESH INSTALL

SPRAY AND PRAY

LOL

LMAO, EVEN

Y=MX+B

ROBOPHOBE

BILE TITAN VICTIM

AMERICAN

BRAP STRIKE

IT'S NOT CHEATING IF THE GAME LETS ME DO IT

RUSH B

שָׂטָן

FAT SHAMER

SISYPHUS

WIKI JANNY

WAR CRIMINAL

CONTRARIAN

GAMBLING ADDICT

NOOB LUBE

GUIDE READERS

Comments

Push CTRL + F to find your stratagem.

Or use your device's page search function, for your own convenience.

NO AIM, NO GAME

Guard Dog (Gun)

Could hardly click the .exe to launch the game without missing
Shoots every patrol even before the drone does
Refined Fox News enjoyer

NO AIM, NO BRAIN

Guard Dog (Laser)

Same as the normal Guard Dog but can't handle basic ammo mangement
Secretly lines up so the laser hits teammates
Manages to hit everything but the toilet water in the bathroom
CNN gigachad

PANSY PACK

Jump Pack

Doesn't need ammo, runs away instead of shoots
Doesn't need health, too far away to get hurt
Knows how to backwards long jump

RAMBO SACK

Supply Pack

Doesn't even know you can give teammates ammo
Goes alone the entire mission
Calls down resupply at full ammo just to refill one pack use
Uses toggle for crouch like a sociopath

CUCK BUBBLE

Shield Generator Pack

Is so terrified of taking damage, wears the medical armor as well
Thinks it's important to tank one extra hit so they can miss yet another shot before dying
Would rather protect self than use a backpack that helps teammates
Wears it for bugs even though they don't have guns
Prefers subs over dubs (wrong)

SHIELD GOD

Ballistic Shield Backpack

Only ever uses SMG primary
Will solo-stealth every single objective
Is your one true love in life and perfect partner
Hasn't even touched a difficulty above 6.
Doesn't actually exist

METACANNON

Autocannon

Doesn't even know there are primary weapons
Has no idea what requistion slips are for, still looking for next autocannon upgrade
Would carry supply pack just for more autocannon ammo
Says every weapon besides autocannon is meta when there's nothing autocannon can't kill

LITTERBUG

Expendable Anti-Tank

Fighting game master
Can input every stratagem sequence in under .1 seconds
Knows how to solo every heavy enemy
Only picked up the weapon because they thought it was funny when it crashed teammates
Prefers dubs over subs (wrong)

GONORRHEA GUN

Flamethrower

Insists the flamethrower is "already good"
Despite this, will say it's "finally good" when it gets buffed every patch
Proud over a 10+ killstreak when it takes them 100x longer than a grenade throw
Watched over ten hours worth of tutorial videos and still catches self on fire
Will quote media they've never even seen

PISS CANNON

Laser Cannon

Calculates the precise maximum range to keep pissing on enemies at a distance
Wished the laser could heal teammates just so they can piss on them too
Will blow up the Earth in 24 hours

TRASH MAN

Stalwart

Hates small mobs so much that they equipped two primaries just to kill them faster
Has no idea how to kill heavies, runs away and hopes teammates do it
Will run into friendly fire and blame you for it
Feels especially called out by this guide

LEVEL 50 CADET

Machine Gun

Fell in love with machine gun the moment it's given for free
Never bought any other stratagems, even eagles and orbitals
Grinds difficulty 1-3 on a daily basis, hasn't seen a bile titan in their life
Probably uses coupons at grocery stores

GRIEFTHROWER

Arcthrower

"I'll stay back and keep them off you guys"
Aims specifically for teammates and thinks they don't notice the arc started with them
Still spends an entire minute trying to arc a devastator to death
Doesn't understand objectives, just thinks missions complete themselves after some time

AMMO DUMPER

Grenade Launcher

Carries supply pack just to spam the grenade launcher at a single scout enemy
Calls down a selfish supply drop when completely isolated from team
Still can't aim the launcher for long distances despite having 100 hours using it
Yells at automaton fabricators because their vents are hard to hit
Has at least 4-pack abs

LMAO BOX

Anti-Material Rifle

Manages to kill enemies before you're even aware of them
Aims at enemies targeted by an air strike just to kill them before it hits
Knows the rifle's scope isn't sighted right and still manages to land shots
Has to fight intrusive thoughts to kill you every waking second
Is secretly playing with a controller

BABY'S FIRST AMR

Railgun

Doesn't realize the AMR does the same thing but without needing to edge your weapon
Knows the exact timing before an overcharge but still forgets to reload the gun
Complains about having to swap out of safe mode every mission
Bought a pre-built PC at least once in their life

RELOAD FETISHIST

Recoilless Rifle

Denies the gun has recoil, isn't aware they don't notice just because it's a single shot weapon
Will latch onto another recoilless rifle user like a hungry tick
Confused why their ammo pack falls off when they pick up a tactical pack
Has tried rocketjumping at least once
There's nothing like the feeling of slamming a long silver rocket into a well greased launcher

CASUAL FILTER

SPEAR

LOCK ON, SERIOUSLY WHAT IS ITS PROBLEM
I KNOW IT CAN ONE-SHOT BILE TITANS, JUST DO IT
WHY DID IT WORK NOW, I'M EVEN FARTHER AWAY THAN LAST TIME
Can also destroy automaton facilities

チャージビーム

Quasar

Press and hold [A] to charge. Release to fire.
Additional data downloaded to Inventory Screen.
Press [START] to access the Inventory Screen.
Honestly only needed a support weapon that kills heavies.

CALLING IN A SUPPLY DROP

Heavy Machine Gun

Really likes firing bullets
Not even at enemies, I mean they just like to shoot in general
Will defend the heavy machine gun to their last breath despite it being a bottom 3 stratagem
Is dropping their use of this weapon as they read this guide

MADE IN SUPER CHINA

Exosuit

The unluckiest people on Super Earth
Will manage to get the mech to blow up before it even drops
Can mind control other players into shooting the mech just so they can yell at them
Could even friendly fire themselves before it got patched

WHOOPSIES

Tesla Tower

Just so happened to be wearing the armor that protects them from it
"Accidentally" picks this stratagem
"Accidentally" places it within range of teammates
"Accidentally" will throw it the moment it recharges rather than when enemies are attacking
"Accidentally" gets shot by you and your teammates when they respawn

WHOOPSIES PART II

Mortar Sentry

See tesla tower except they get mad when you break their sentry

300 IQ DEMIGOD

EMS Mortar

The best players in existence
Will carry you, your friends, and somehow players in a different match entirely
Is fat

GATLING MACHINE GUN SENTRY

Gun Sentry

Insists gatling/machine gun sentry are different stratagems (they aren't)
Denies they're similar despite complaining when even they confuse the two
States one is the worst sentry and the other is the best despite both being exactly the same

"JUST LOOK FOR THE RED, BRO"

Minefield

Genuinely gets a higher kill count on friendlies than enemies
Even if the weakest enemy in the game walks directly on a mine, it doesn't kill them
Will somehow place mines in areas both of you never even visited
Still walks on automaton mines

THE GENTLEMAN'S MINES

Incendiary Mines

Has the generosity to use mines teammates can at least survive stepping on
Rushed every single fire upgrade
Still can't kill a common mob
Thinks fire looks pretty

CHAD BUBBLE

Shield Generator

Reject cuck bubble, embrace true enlightenment
Occasionally crushes teammates to death with drop pod

CONTROL FREAK

HMG Emplacement

Doesn't trust normal sentries, thinks they emit 5G mind control signals
Is playing with Alex Jones podcosts blasting in their ear
Can't parallel park to save their lives
Gets the highest kill total in the whole match

MINI METACANNON

Autocannon Sentry

Didn't even use sentries until some random Youtube video told them to use this one
Their entire armor, weapon, and stratagem set is just copied from somebody else
Wouldn't even eat their favorite food unless somebody else told them they liked it

SUPER EARTH SUPER SOAKER

Rocket Sentry

Complete opposite of autocannon sentry users, just looks for what they think is best
Zero thought in armor, weapon, and stratagem set beyond what sounds coolest
Has at least a post-graduate degree

FRESH INSTALL

Precision Strike

Has failed every mission they've gone on, only leveled up through pity XP
May or may not be the account owner's little brother playing
Literally cannot tell the difference between this and any other orbital
The scariest moment of their life was fighting a lone brood commander

SPRAY AND PRAY

Airburst Strike

Only other gaming experience is playing DDR on keyboard
Doesn't even own a mouse or controller
Turns view using the arrow keys and throws this stratagem at the first enemy they see

LOL

120MM HE Barrage

Too stupid to realize 380 is bigger because that starts with "3" and this starts with "12"
Is the cause of your sole death this mission
Doesn't know the different between "its" and "it's"

LMAO, EVEN

380MM HE Barrage

Too dumb to know that 120MM is more concentrated, just went for bigger number
Is the cause of your team failing this mission
Absolutely horrified of using the laser in fear of a limited-use stratagem
Swapped proper tenses when writing

Y=MX+B

Walking Barrage

Like a pig, is physically unable to look up
Prefers a "consistent" orbital
The only thing they "consistently" do is mess up the timing of following the barrage
Cannot comprehend basic geometry, unable to identify intersecting lines
Unlike HE barrages, blames you for dying to it instead of accepting responsibility

ROBOPHOBE

Laser

Has absolutely no idea how to destroy fabricators, including that you can shoot the door
The concept of infiltrating a robot facility is unfathomable to them
Has beaten an automaton blitz mission in under a minute
Hordes the laser the whole mission and ends with two uses left

BILE TITAN VICTIM

Railcannon Strike

Invested all their resources into crowd control, can't do single target elimination
Doesn't know bile titans and chargers even have heads or weak spots
Has the inhuman ability to target the terminid scout hiding under the bile titan somehow

AMERICAN

Gatling Barrage

Woke up this morning to a nice cup of gasoline and a plate of deep fried baseballs
Entire inventory is nothing but full-auto weapons
Can't name all the 50 super states of Super America
Can't locate their own state on a map
Will celebrate the end of a mission by firing into the air and throwing stratagems

BRAP STRIKE

Gas Strike

COUGH COUGH HACK COUGH HACK
Claims to not have a mustard gas addiction
Still spends most of their disposable income on it
Entire house and body reeks of chlorine
Made committing war crimes their entire personality, voted to legalize it in their area

IT'S NOT CHEATING IF THE GAME LETS ME DO IT

EMS Strike

Set up macros to input stratagem commands
Totally doesn't cheat in other games but suspiciously knows Lua scripting
"Oh that game ban is just for trolling in lobbies, don't worry about it"

RUSH B

Smoke Strike

Doesn't even know terminid missions exist
Blames teammates for dying because they didn't just "hide in the smoke"
Said teammates aren't even on the same side of the map as them
Doesn't believe the smoke is too spotty and inconsistent, probably in denial
Goes for stealth melee takedowns only to be turned into swiss cheese by gunfire

שָׂטָן

Ö̸̜̜̖̟̿̅̈́́̄͆͒̎̋͐̇̓̔̈̌̈́̾̄͂̿̀̊̕͘͝͝ŗ̵̨̡̢̡̨̛̛̯̼̪̫̱̻͈̙͍̗͔͔͉̯͉̜̼̲̯̘̬͕̫̲̣̙̖̖̲̬̥̤̻̥͓̳̗̲̩͎͒̆̔̌̈́̔̑͑͛͆́̒̈͐̅͐͗͒̏̅̄̾̊̎̈́̆̈́̚̕̕͜͝͝͝ͅb̴̨̢̥̱̹͈̝͍̗͇̥͍̪̬͍̲̈́̂̄̅͐́̈̀̔̓̅̒͋̈́̎͂́̋̄͗̄́̊̚͜͜͠͝ỉ̸̛̛̛̛̛͓̃̇͐́̉̒̆̎̂͋͋̓͗͌́̊̒͆̂̌̀̍̑̉͛͗̀̇̋̀͛̌̄̇͑̇̅̎̽͒̇̓͒̾͑͐̒͂͒́̄͐͆͛̌̉͐̓̾̽̎͒͛͗́͊̄̋̈͐̓͑͊͘̕̚͘͘͘̚͘͝͠͝͠͝͝ţ̴̨̧̡̬̤͙̤̥̥̣̪̩͓̟̫͓͇̹̝͔̝̟̦̭̹̭̲̮̥̟͖͇̘̺̀̿̿̋͆̈̇̿̅̑̊̽̀̇̀̈́̓̓͐̍͌̿͌̿̆̄̂̓̅̈́̈͛̈̇̎̀́͐̊͗̓̓́́̍͒̊͗̿̉̅̉̈́̾̃̊̊̊́̑͌̏͊͋̂̑̈̌͒̇͘̕̕͘̕͘̚͝͝͠͠ͅͅa̷̢̨̧̧͙̲̯͓͈̩͕̖͓̹͉͕̬̯͉̪̤̥̦͕̮̬̭̗̘̍̌́̀͆̕͘͜͜͝͠l̵̡̡̡̢̧̧̡̢̨̘̲̣̺̘̺̺͔̫̮̦̱̬̲͔̦͍͇̳̠̹̦̜̣̰͇̭͍͕̙͓̦̙̜͔̙͚̹͈͍̙͔̹̳̺̰̼̳͍͉̤̹̬̝̟̞͇̝̏̂̾̂̉̽͐̎̈̑̐͆̀͌́̓͛̃̀̂̓̿̈́̏̊͆̌̏̿͋̑̈́́͘͘̚͜͝ ̷̨̡̧̢̡̨̡̟̯͓̮͔̫̜̫͉̻̬͕͕̩̮̖̱͚̲̼̬̙̲̘̜̯̼͙̗͍̥͖͙̫͚̮̞̱̮̼̖̺͎̰̖̪͇̞̣͚̖̟̳̺̳͖͔͉͈͉͔̦̰̳͓͈͉̹̎̈́̓̔͒̈́̂̍͂͐͌͛̌͌̓͌̔̂͒̉̋̓͑̈́͐͊̀̾̍̃̍̆̉̈́̈͊͗̆̒͐̇̐̂̃̿͆̔̑̈̐͂̎̓͊́͋̚͘̚͘̕͘̕͠͝ͅͅI̵̡̨̡̨̧̡̩̳͚̺̘̖̲̹͉̯̟̳̱̠͈̲̞̥͇̯̠̮̹͉̫̭̲̝̭̗̘̝̗͇͔̻̟̮̙͎͓̫̮̰͎͈̯͉͉͐̐̀̽͗̀̑̋̔͘ͅl̴̨̨̡̛̛̛̜̱̱̮̥̰̹̺͎̭͎͚̼̦̖̝̮͇̖̪̺͕̼̬̖̳̝͚̮̱̮̮̹̖̟̺͖͚̳̟̖͙͕̖̺͚̽̂̾̅͌̎̔̏̽̑̓̆́͗́̽̂̍͒̎́̃͗͌́̾͂̈́͒̋͛̿̓̈́̋͒̐̄̐̐̍̋̔̑̈́̾͛̐͒̅̋͂̃̑̑͆̕͘̕̕͘͜ͅĺ̷̨̧̧̢̛̛̛̦̱̬̲̣͇̱̤̙͖̻͈̳͙̘͙͕̩̠̳̙̱̗͉̂̿̔̃͂̎̾̏͑̽̄̍̑̊͛̈́͐̋̎̆̈́̌́̃̅̃́̾͗̐̾̆̐͒̿̐̃̓̅̇̎͛̆̍͗̇̀̀̈́̕͠͠͠ừ̸̢̡̧̧̛̗͖̦̯̩̮̭̻̩͓̮̩̮̤͚̙̩̲͍͓̗̜̻͓̠͔͉͐̆͋͛̆͂̏̏̈͂̑̉͂̓̿̆͊̏̊̎̽̓̿͑́̔̾̾̾̈́͌͊̋̀̆̑͊̊̂͐̽̍͋̐̈́̓̉̋͂́̕̚͜͝͠͝ͅm̵̨̧̧̡̧̧̘̦̻̰̥̫̙̲̩͕̰͈̯̦̥̗̯̮̥͖̥̝͕̫͇͎̹̻̘̝͇͕͎̝̿̀̽̑͗̀͊̎̑̾̃̇̀̉͊̍̏̆͘̕̕i̶̡̨̨̡̨̨̡̢̛̟͚̭̝̩̫̝͓̼̺̞̞̟̻̱̠̣̮͎͉̺͉͙̤̗͓̘̜̠̗̼͎̬̪̦̱̞͉͙͚̻̖̬̜͙͉͉͉̫͚̫̩̦̱͕̣͈̼̥̖͈͓̟̖͈͖͕̖̘̫̻̐̎̿͆̅́̊̈́̌̐̉̔̎̓̃̋̈́̎̀̀̎̎̓̉͑̉̓̈́͑̑͐̀̍́̽̓̎̓́̀̄̿̈̑̌̎̓̅̒͆̌̀̀̏̎͂̎͐͂͗̽̒͐̚͘̕̚̕̚͜͜͠͝͝͠͝͝ͅͅͅͅn̸̢̨̢̧̢̛̲̮̺̹̞̪̬̮̤͍̤̩̟̩̟̯̞̦͉̯͔͎͙͕͎̝̺̻͇͇̱̤̖̙̯̙̰̟̮̦͇̦̙̬̰̹̣̱̥̝͇͕̜̳̠̩̞̩̬̜̹̠̦̮̠̹̞͕͈̗̤̺̩̖̤͓̼̻̲̥̩̄̈́͋́̏̀͆͊̒̈͂͌̒͌̕͜͝ä̶̢̬̭͈̺̗̠͕̭͍̟̗̣̭̳̮̯͓̺̝͇̦̜̜̬̜̦̖̫̱̺̙͔͍͎̪̺̭̤͓͕͖̣̬͚̦́̊̈́̿͑́̓̽͐̍́̓͘͘͜͜͝ͅţ̴̢̧̢̡̡̡̢̧̨̗̺̘̯̬̠̮͕̜̣͇͍͇̞̘̳̠͔͔͔̭͖̬͍̬͇̠̬͕̫̜͉̻̲̟̭͕͔̹̮̘͕̬̞̖̼̜̣̥̭̝̙͉͚̪͖͙̹̤̤͖̙̜̙̥̹̐̌̔̇̈́̏́̔͑́͗̄̍̄́̋̏̄͘̕͜͜͝͝ͅi̵̡̛̳̼̲͉̥̩̣̙̙̺̘͔̖̱͛̃̋̉̆̍͐̈́̈̒̾̃̊̿̇̉̋̂̈́̓̏̃̔̊͘͜͜͝͝o̵̻̣̮͐̀̿̅̆̄̈́̄̏̓̇̚͜n̷̢̢̨̧̧̨̢̢̨̨̢̡̡̡̛̛̛̛͔̣̱̟̪͖̺͇̣̦̱̮͖̥̳̯̺̳̳̬̻̠̯͎̪̙̫͙̱͎͙̙̟̗̻̞̗͉͓̮͚̼̜͙̹͉̪̖̣͖̹̟̖̩͍͇̦̻͇̦͈̜̗͖̹̫̠̼̳̻͈͋̀̏̑̑̅͑̓̂̆̾̊̈́͆͌̉͂͊͐͛̅́͗̅̊̆̓̈́̔͋͐̌̆͆̈́̅̿͋̋̈́̅̀̓͋̎̔̒̍͛͑̃̅̄͋͛́̇͆̋̍̍̇̀̊̈́́̔͗̓͐͋̈͑̐̀̚̕̕̚̚̚͜͜͝͝͝͠͝ͅͅ ̴̡̢̡̱̬̮̠̫͎͚̗̫͕̗̹̭̘̙̺̖̮̈́̋̓̉̉͗̑͛͑̃̅̔̇͑́̃̋̑͋̋̌̎̒̏͌͗͋͒̊͌̑̌͒̑̌̔̓͘̚͘͝͝͝͝ͅF̶̢̡̡̨̨̞̺̬̳̹͇̭̻̻̠̜͎̲̤̠̪̱͚͚͍̰̠̪͉̟̖̖̘͉͙̞̳̲͕̞̬͍̱͎͚͙͈̯͔̣̯̳̪͈̦̖̟̘͎̠̒̋̆͋̑͐̑̀͛̍͋̇̓̅̌̇̊͛̍͋̓͌̉̈́̀̋̊̒́̒̚̕͘͘̚͜͜͝͠͠͝ͅļ̸̨̡̧̢̛̛̛̛̳͖̼͈͎̥̰̟͔̲̹̣̜̬͖̥̣͙͔̤͍͎̥͓̩͉͈̩̬̪͉̜̯̱̲̭̟͕̥̼̹͍̰̖̙̤̟͍͕̜̤̙̗͚̜͎̹̤̪̟̗̟͙͔͔̭͈̞͓̱̤̞̣̝̥̪̖̜̋̋͛̍̽̿̀̉͊̽̋͒̈́͐̈͛͋̍̆̅̿̆̑̔̀͆̽̌̎͗́͋́̀̅̒̈́͒̅́́̊̆̑̐̈́̈̇͒͗͑͆̆͒͑͊̑̂̓̊̍̐̾̒̒́̆̎̒͌͑͋̋̈̆̂͛́͊̐̾̈̕̕̚͘̚͜͜͜͠͠͝͝ͅą̸̨̛̛̛̛̺̝͍̖͍̲̠̹͕̮͙͍͓̰͓͉̭̜͙͚̹̳͕̗͖̺̳̗̙̬͉̖̝̙̗̻͛͐̅̄͗͐̈́̋̄͊̓̽̍̈́̂̍̈͋̈́̎̄̾̓̎̐̿̆͆̀̏̉͛̏̿̎̂͋̇͛̓́͒̅̍͊́̾͌̆͌̄͊̌͗͌̓̽̈́͗̾͗̍́͆̓̊̅̓̍̀̾͋̃͐̔̾͐̈́̈́̎͘͘̚̚͘͝͝͝͝͝ͅr̴̛̛͇̠͔̣͚̮̤͓̟̙̠̟̼̞̺͖̯̞̞̦̺̻̿̅͊͆̉̎̽͆̂̂̎̿͂͌̆̀̃͆͒̅̈́̽̽͋͒̄̊̌̅͂̏̏͊̏̔̈́͐̆̆̀̾̍̿͂̅̔̋̅́͛̃͆̂͛̐̇́͛̚̚̚̚̕͘͜͝͝ē̶̢̢̢̨̛̫̘̗̗͙̺̝͍̹͉̭͔̫̗̟̻͎̪͍̗̖̻͔̹̳̙̜̮̤̝̺̰̼̻͚̱̬͖̪̲̻̫̺̖̣͖͔̙̩͙̰̠̺̻̲̪̜̳̦̬̭͔̥͎̰͒́̉̿̉͆͋̆̀̈́͆̇̇̊̀̈́͌̀̆́̅̔̃̇̕̚̕͘͘͝͠͝ͅͅ

Knows what should not be known
Cursed you by the knowledge they exist
Is behind you right now
Don't look, they'll know
Prefers quiet restaurants when you take them out for brunch

FAT SHAMER

Eagle Strafing Run

Specced entirely into killing heavies
Not a single weapon in their inventory fires conventional bullets
Will panic and drop a suicide eagle strike the moment a hunter touches their pinky toe
Skips leg day, body is shaped like an upside-down triangle

SISYPHUS

Eagle Air Strike

Complete opposite of the Eagle Strafing Run, has no explosives whatsoever
Only means of destroying buildings is this air strike
Refuses help, spends entire minutes throwing 5+ air strikes at a bug hole they keep missing

WIKI JANNY

Eagle Cluster Bomb

Addicted to all forms of Helldivers media, reads it on the toilet, at work, and to sleep
Knows that cluster bombs don't destroy buildings or friendly mechs
Has zero practical experience, constantly underestimates range of cluster bombs
Has gotten a triple kill on friendly teammates at least once
"Sorry, I didn't think it would reach that far" UH-HUH, SURE

WAR CRIMINAL

Eagle Napalm Strike

Still thinks the Super Viet Cong were the bad guys
Lacks the fabled "media literacy" which is spoken of only in legends to Helldivers players
20+ killstreak on every napalm use

CONTRARIAN

Eagle Smoke Strike

Is "not like the other divers"
Hates the mainstream so much that all their life decisions is the opposite of the mainstream
Isn't aware this still means the mainstream dictates their personal choices
Prays for the day this is buffed, doesn't consider they'll drop it when other people use it

GAMBLING ADDICT

110MM Rocket Pods

Could one-shot a bile titan, could not. Who knows?
Consistently can stick the stratagem to a heavy as if it matters with this stupid thing
Has staked at least triple-digit money in casinos before

NOOB LUBE

500kg Bomb

The grand puba of "bigger number = bigger result"
Uses 500kg bomb on everything, fingers reflexively do the stratagem input in their sleep
Would 500kg bomb their front lawn if it needed mowing like they do all their problems
Doesn't know what a "kilogram" is

GUIDE READERS

Literally You

Thinks nothing on this list applies to them when they act exactly like it
Takes this guide's descriptions as a personal attack
Will stop using their stratagem because people made fun of them for it
Believes this guide is similar to another one despite them being completely different
Is thanked for reading the guide anyway

148 Comments

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ThaTylar 3 Dec @ 4:42pm

Fine. I'll do it myself.

ARSONEER
Needed more flamethrower since they got the game
Runs full flamethrower kit, relies on teammates to kill heavies
Has no gender, only a gas mask

LIMBERJACK
Uses chainsaw on every enemy
Will try to hold the game devs hostage until they get a primary melee
Does not realize that melee only works in melee range

G.M.G.S. COSPLAYER
Has 2 supply pack users next to them
Wants more ammo even though it is good as is
Uses stun baton as a 'difficulty tweak'