SO, you comin' in here wanting to know how to fight? I don't care if your another kid running off to die in buu's loving embrace or a space changling currently being throttled in his space baby chair, but I'mma share some secrets of the art of the FIGHT with you.

First rule. You are going to die attempting this stuff, don't come climbing into my comments about it later, just run outta this guide and outta the FIGHT if you don't understand what your doing.

Got it?

Let's get into the basics of the art of the FIGHT

• Rule 1: Always be ready to hit a button, if you aren't ready to slam that button, you will wind up rolled and possibly not very gold.
  
  
• Rule 2: Survivors are wimps who only know how to take punches to the face, Raiders are strictly not that - they have a button they SHOULD push that will make everything hunky-dorie, and can be done in any state of being. Nothing like refreshing your retinas at the push of a button the moment someone shines like the sun at you.
  
  
• Rule 3: Everyone knows the art of ZWEEE~ fighting by now, some ugly mutha comes barreling at you, and you panic and then ZWEEE~ *POOF* right outta the way. Straight up Houdini in their face.
  And just like Houdini, if you like risking all your limbs and precious digits, you can wait till the last moment before your skull is about to be collapsed by adversarial physical force to ZWEE~ outta the way, and you might just find yourself behind their back, kicking their spine apart. This is the true secret of the FIGHT, never forget to ZWEEE~ properly.
  
  
• Rule 4: You cannot always rely on the ultimate power of RULE 3, but where ZWEEE~ fails in this regard, it may help you in others. Ya ever see that big pink tub of goo turn into a giant protoplasmic firework, lookin' like a giant deadly membrane of explosive amoeba power? You can safely ZWEEE~ in and out of that giant mess that would normally ruin your body, and give 'em the good ol' spicy fist before they remember how to move. Show EM' what happens when they try something!
  
  
• Rule 5: Everyone likes to bring a gun to a knife fight, just admit it, it'll make this easier. You make someone mad enough, they will just start blazin' shots everywhere, in every random direction, total M.A.D. style madness. This stuff is too much for the simple power of ZWEEE~ and should be avoided at all costs, backstep like the emperor and GTFO.
  
  
• Rule 6: You didn't listen to Rule 6 and are either dead after someone blew a full load of neon pastel power in your face, or your on the ground still limping along, unable to ZWEEE~ anymore. Don't fret too much if your in that latter category, because even without the power of ZWEEE~, you are still capable of TUCK AND ROLLING. Tuck and Roll is a secret power gifted unto the most pathetic of cowards, but it serves their master well. Continually employing this heathen technique will grant you the great ability to not die in the face of FISTS or BALLS or LASERS. If you have no honor, then you will TUCK AND ROLL until you are out of sight and soon out of everyone's memory.
  
  
• Rule 7: If you some kinda savage who thinks he's gonna be the ONE ON ONE MASTER, and you aren't human, then expect the unbridled force of the gang stomp to occur. You mess with the pack you get the horns, and them horns can stab at you something fierce - at the same time. It's messed up, enough to knock the wind outta you for a few seconds. In these desperate times, you must refer to Rule 2 and ruminate upon it greatly.

You have now been initiated into the FIGHT, and are properly bloated and floating face down in the dirt.


Totally rad.