Just finished marathoning this game and loved it, so I thought it might be fun (and perhaps helpful?) to share my thoughts on all the many skills you might find while playing. Before I begin, a few things of note:

1. This is all personal opinion and experience. Someone with a different playstyle, skill level, or point of view might think differently. I've included the objective effect of each perk alongside my subjective stance on it.

2. A lot of the perks are locked until you purchase them with Cubits in the main lobby. They appear in a set order as far as I'm aware, with the wilder (but not necessarily better) perks being sold later on for higher prices. If you see a skill you're unfamiliar with, odds are you just can't purchase it yet.

3. Everything here is listed in alphabetical order in the list they appear. If you're looking for a specific perk, feel free to ctrl + f and search the name.

The perks so good, they're worth sacrificing your firstborn for. These skills alone are complete game-changers, sometimes capable of carrying you on their own or at least making your job a LOT easier. Generally, aim to snag these whenever you can, even if a nasty curse is in the way of one.

Composed
Effects:
Jackie is invincible for an additional 5 seconds after being hit.

Reasoning:
This perk, this perk right here? It's INSANE. The normal hitstun is incredibly low, and if you're super unlucky, it's entirely possible to just get stunlocked until you're dead or dying. This not only completely removes that unfortunate circumstance, it gives you a BIG window where you can beat down on enemies without fear. This was my go-to endorse perk, and I recommend you do the same - even if you don't, DEFINITELY get it whenever you can.

Conflict Resolver
Effects:
When Jackie takes damage, all enemies in the room are electrocuted.

Reasoning:
No matter who or what hurts you, Zeus himself will smite everything in the room for good damage and a stun. Even works on bosses, too! Getting a window of opportunity to beat down everything that opposes you whenever you're hit is nothing to sneeze at.

Deep Pockets
Effects:
When Jackie picks up an item when her inventory is full, the previously held item is moved into a secondary storage instead of being dropped. When an inventory slot is emptied (via a weapon breaking, being thrown, or being discarded by Jackie's idle animation), it will be filled by the last item put in secondary storage. Up to 12 items can be stored in secondary storage, after which picking up a weapon swaps it as normal. The number of items there is indicated by an icon next to the currently held item. Heavy items can be stored by this perk.

Reasoning:
One of the difficulties of the game is managing three chosen weapons that are constantly breaking and needing to be replaced... this perk says SCREW that. With this, you no longer have to pick and choose what to keep, you can basically hold a total of FOURTEEN WEAPONS. You never have to turn down a good find because you already have better things on hand. The only downside is you can't pick and choose from your side storage, you either have to toss or break your current weapon to pull your next one out. A small price to pay for basically always having a neverending slew of good weapons you can use without fear, though.

Disaster-Proof
Effects:
Jackie cannot be electrocuted and her temperature cannot change (so she never catches fire or slows down from being chilled). However, electrical attacks will still disarm her, and attacks that have fiery, icy, or electrical attributes (e.g. being attacked by a Kilobat) will still hurt her. Jackie gets a racing helmet.

Reasoning:
Never having to worry about three different elements is kind of a big deal. I will admit... fire damage is pretty easily avoided by rolling, frost isn't a huge deal, and getting shocked is pretty bad but thankfully rare. Not the biggest of the S-tier perks, but being able to completely ignore these things, move around a trapped battleground without fear, and use some more reckless strategies with impunity is huge.

Free Hand
Effects:
Changes the stance of all two handed weapons to one handed, changing their attack arcs, attack speeds, and charged attack styles.

Reasoning:
All the impact of a two-handed weapon, condensed into the speed and utility of a one-hander. If you like swinging around sledgehammers and other huge tools, this will make it much safer and efficient to do so. And if you don't... what's wrong with you?

Go-Getter
Effects:
Jackie's movement speed and attack speed are both increased by 20%.

Reasoning:
Simple, yet effective. A sizable attack speed boost will help you mow things down, and the movement speed boost will help you stay out of trouble.

Large & In Charge
Effects:
Jackie's held weapon becomes much larger, giving it more range.

Reasoning:
That extra range can be a lifesaver, allowing you to attack from out of harm's range with some long weapons (and even attack through objects sometimes! Very helpful dealing with armored enemies down in the mines, peeling off their shields while they can't touch you). It also helps mitigate the risk of small-reach weapons, giving you a bit more breathing room with them.

Lower Body Strength
Effects:
Prevents Jackie from being hit-stunned. Electrocution effects still apply. Significantly increases the size of Jackie's legs.

Reasoning:
Never, ever getting knocked down? Sign me UP. Granted electric attacks will still send you for a loop, but that isn't enough to diminish an incredible skill.

Noncommittal
Effects:
If Jackie is hit while charging an attack, she will teleport forward and leave behind a Log instead of taking damage. Logs can be picked up and used as weapons.

Reasoning:
The drawback to a charged attack is, naturally, leaving yourself wide open while you're preparing it. This completely removes that risk and allows you to swing hard at will - at worst, you just end up missing after teleporting, but sometimes you can turn around and connect still. Don't expect the logs to be useful, though... maybe as a last resort?

On The Clock
Effects:
Slow down your enemies when you barely dodge their attacks.

Reasoning:
The slowdown effect is HUGE, and lasts quite awhile. With one little dodge, you can effectively render an enemy helpless for an extended period of time. Requires good timing (or luck), naturally, but makes for a powerful perk whenever you pull it off.

Scaled Up
Effects:
Armed attacks deal 1 extra damage. Additionally, all held objects and weapons become slightly larger, extending the range of attacks. This range bonus stacks with Large And In Charge.

Reasoning:
Big, big, BIGGER AND BETTER. I don't think it extends your range as much as Large & In Charge, but it's good for basically the exact same reasons... annnnd comes with a little damage boost as the cherry on top! As the effect says, this stacks with the aforementioned perk, so if you ever get the chance, grab both and enjoy being able to swing your weapon over entire rooms.

Swing for the Fences
Effects:
Increases knockback when enemies are hit and deals 6 damage when they collide with a wall as opposed to the normal 2 damage.

Reasoning:
If you're a fan of big weapons, you'll love this. Swinging around giant tools, smashing goons against the walls, completely dominating the battlefield and getting rewarded for it with extra damage. Its ability to buy you space and control the arena is what makes it shine, though. Its use is a bit more limited if you prefer smaller weapons.

Thick Skin
Effects:
Enemy projectiles that strike Jackie directly will bounce off without doing damage or exploding.

Reasoning:
One of, if not the best perk in the game. Complete immunity to ranged attacks, rendering some enemies completely harmless, trivializing certain boss attacks, and generally making your run a LOT smoother. No matter the cost, no matter the curse, this is 100% ALWAYS worth getting.

ALWAYS.

These are the good ones, but not so good that you should take big risks to acquire. They're sometimes worth going out of your way to get, but always bear your current situation in mind. These skills won't do you much good if you spend all your cash on them and get in trouble when you could've bought health instead.

Aggressive
Effects:
Weapons deal 4 times as much damage when they break, instead of the usual 2 times.
Reasoning:
Your weapons are going to break a lot. As such, doubling your damage output on top of the boost you already get racks up pretty hard.

Agile
Effects:
The delay after dodge rolling is reduced to 0.1 seconds, from the normal 0.3 seconds.

Reasoning:
Anything that helps you evade better is a plus in my book, especially when the normal dodge roll can sometimes put you in situations where you're stuck taking a hit you didn't see coming. Being able to roll faster puts you in less bad circumstances, and lets you fight back faster.

Beggar Queen
Effects:
Armed attacks deal 2 extra damage, but all money Jackie finds is reduced by 50%. Jackie gets a small crown.

Reasoning:
Can be knocked down a rank if you rely on buying often/are constantly in need of purchasing health, but if you're pretty good at making due with what you get, it's basically a flat damage upgrade. And it comes with bling!

Blood Money
Effects:
If Jackie cannot afford an item, she can purchase it without spending money by taking half a heart of damage.

If level 3+ Tappi is Jackie's mentor, items bought with health will not restock.

If Ray is Jackie's mentor, she will go into debt before paying health when purchasing items she can't afford. Once Jackie has reached the debt limit of at least -100 dollars, she can purchase more items using health.

Reasoning:
I only really used this once, so there's potential for it to rank even higher... but from that one use, I could basically get free health from stores. It costs half a heart to buy something, and some items restore one/one and a half hearts, so you actually gain health by grabbing them. This very useful trick aside, it can also get you some perks you might have to skip otherwise.

Bloodsucker

Effects:
If Jackie has killed at least 10 enemies since the skill last healed her, there is a 5% for her to heal half a heart when killing an enemy. Will always heal after 35 kills.

Reasoning:
In this game, sustainability is king. And while this isn't super amazing, anything that helps you live longer is pretty dang good. I might be overestimating it, but it's certainly not a BAD perk.

Charismatic
Effects:
Reduces shop prices to 85% of their usual, rounded down. For instance, an item that normally costs 12 dollars would cost 10 dollars instead (12 * 0.85 = 10.2, rounds down to 10).

When Ray is Jackie's mentor, this skill does not apply when she buys things she can't afford. For instance, if Jackie has 9 dollars and purchases the above hypothetical item, she will have -3 dollars afterwards (not -1 like we would expect if the discount applied).

Reasoning:
Not a HUGE discount, but it adds up if you're a frequent shopper. A bit of a waste if you get it later in the run, but if you can get it early for cheap, it can be quite handy for your run.

Chumpette
Effects:
Attaches a small, friendly Chain Chump to Jackie that does 3 damage to enemies. Chumpette is invincible and will not be targeted by enemies, but it can block projectiles. It will move and attack freely if the chain breaks.
Reasoning:
Chumpette is a FRIEND... who also blocks enemy shots and does decent extra damage. Really shines once the leash is broken and she can chase down anything she wants, though.

Clap Back
Effects:
When Jackie takes damage, all enemies near her take 10 damage and are knocked down.
Reasoning:
Gets you some nice breathing room whenever anyone hits you, and a big chunk of damage to boot. Turn getting your ass kicked to your favor!

Disruptive
Effects:
Your critical hits shock enemies.
Reasoning:
Naturally, your mileage may vary depending on how high your crit chance is when you get this. Shocking enemies is always a good effect, though, and this basically lets you occasionally shock foes for free.

Downsized
Effects:
Makes Jackie much smaller and slightly faster, and therefore much harder to hit. Props that Jackie can normally hide under by dodge rolling can now just be walked under.
Reasoning:
Is this really all that good? Not sure, but it's definitely fun. Being able to schmoove around a chaotic battlefield is useful, and being less targetable is a good thing. Plus, it makes you adorable and the perk description always makes me laugh. 'I'm Baby' indeed, just a baby with a giant sledgehammer.

Eclaire-as-a-Service
Effects:
Useful items like Apps and Cubicle boxes will have an Eclaire symbol above them and play a barking sound to indicate where they are.
Reasoning:
Almost every room you come across is pretty cluttered, and it can be easy to miss good items hiding amongst the mess. This not only tells you these items are there, it SHOWS them to you. Its usefulness can vary as some 'useful' items actually aren't all that impressive, but just knowing what you can use around you without having to hunt things down is great. Plus, you get to team up with the best coworker!

WARNING: Later in the game, the sound effect for this perk changes and gets a lot more annoying. That doesn't make it any less useful, but... expect it to get irritating.

Emotive
Effects:
Spawns an allied Emoozi when Jackie takes damage. She can up to have 5 of these Emoozi at once.
Reasoning:
Basically, a free ally whenever you take damage. Getting some back-up, some extra damage, and a meatshield whenever you get hit makes for a pretty good perk. If you end up getting hit a lot, you can quickly turn things around with the small army you produce.

Fail Forward
Effects:
When Jackie is defeated, she is revived with 1 heart. After being revived, all damage she deals is increased by 20% (rounded up). One-time use.

Reasoning:
I'm surprised this isn't S-tier, too. An extra life, PLUS a damage boost if it activates, what's not to love? And in truth, this probably IS S-tier for the first half of the game. But the farther you get, the more you realize one extra heart in a tough fight isn't actually as awesome as it sounds. Sure, if you survive post-revival, this perk can definitely turn the run around, but more often than not if you go down a second wind won't carry you much farther. Objectively pretty good, just not as great as it appears.

Fake It Til You Make It
Effects:
Jackie begins each combat wearing a Mascot Head and will not be targeted by enemies. Upon attacking an enemy or taking damage, the disguise is lost and the Mascot Head will drop.

If Jackie ends a combat room without losing the Mascot Head, she will begin the next one with an additional Mascot Head on top of the previous one. However, only the top Mascot Head counts as the disguise; any additional ones are cosmetic only. Stacking Mascot Heads also increases the height of Jackie's hitbox.

Reasoning:
Day 367: They still haven't realized I'm not one of them.

Gives you the opportunity to choose where and how you want to start every fight. Even lets you sit back and relax and let your allies do some clearing for you at first! But at the end of the day, it just delays the inevitable and basically just lets you start combat at your own call. Also, it has some bad interactions I've seen, like rendering monsters immune to certain weapons until you take the mask off.

Friends In High Places
Effects:
Generates a friendly flying Cubicle drone with a Laser Gun and 21.6 health. Enemies will target the drone and can destroy it, but it immediately respawns when Jackie completes a combat room.

Reasoning:
An extra ally to fight for you is always a good thing, and as far as perk helpers go, this is definitely one of the better ones. A ranged attack, decent damage, and a questionable alliance with technology.

Good Consumer
Effects:
When Jackie picks up a Bricked Phone, it is immediately consumed and grants her 1 armor. If Jackie picks up the phone while her inventory is full, she will drop her held item before consuming the phone.

Reasoning:
This perk will vary a LOT, and in truth, I'm surprised I put it this high up. Bricked phones come from leaving a room with an app in it and returning. As such, in a run with few to no apps, it's worthless. HOWEVER... the inverse also stands true. If you come across a lot of apps, you will be DROWNING in armor. This perk single-handedly won me some runs I shouldn't have succeeded simply because I loaded up on four chunks of armor at a time from apps I wouldn't have used otherwise. Has the potential to be S-tier in the right circumstances, and C-tier in others. Truly, the most unpredictable perk... but I'll put it in A because when it works, it really, really works.

Halt and Catch Fire
Effects:
Enemies will ignite when knocked prone.

Reasoning:
If you've got the means to knock enemies on their back, this will help quickly melt them while they're down. Just be careful to not stumble into the flaming heaps you make.

Hot-headed
Effects:
After killing an enemy with a charged attack, light nearby enemies on fire.

Reasoning:
Identical to the above skill, except with the even easier requirement of simply killing something with a charged attack. Again, this'll help you torch entire rooms so long as you keep from setting yourself ablaze.

Ice Breaker
Effects:
Break hits freeze enemies 33% of the time.

Reasoning:
A nice and powerful effect to help ease the unfortunate scenario of your weapon breaking. While your target's frozen, you're free to go find a new weapon... or make THEM the weapon.

Move Fast and Break Things
Effects:
Jackie's movement speed and attack speed increase by 15% per item she breaks, stacking up to 10 times for 150% extra movement speed and attack speed. Each stack lasts 7 seconds.

Reasoning:
Fun AND practical. Things break crazy often in this game, so you'll be going sonic speeds very often... and attacking just as fast, too. Loses some kick against bosses since they typically have a lot less to destroy, but this'll turn the rest of the run into a blur.

Open Minded
Effects:
Jackie's critical chance increases by 5.5% when not focused on an enemy.

Reasoning:
There's not much to say about this other than it's just good. A small but helpful boost so long as you're not focusing. No drawbacks. Maybe not the biggest skill, but never a bad one to end up with.

Over-Protective
Effects:
When Jackie picks up this skill, she loses 1 heart container but gains 4 armor. One-time use.

Reasoning:
This effectively trades 2 slots of renewable health for 4 slots of temporary health. Its usefulness depends on how badly you need that extra padding and whether or not you would've been able to refill that container you gave up. While its tier can vary situationally, I'll put it in A because it can be a huge lifesaver in long runs where your health is super low and you have no chance of fully healing up. In that case, it turns 0 health into 4!

Penny Puncher
Effects:
Your first crit against an enemy will earn you a buck or two. Crit Chance Up 10%

Reasoning:
A solid crit boost as well as a little extra cash? What's not to love?

People Person
Effects:
All damage is increased by the number of people in the room (including Jackie) divided by 2. For instance, when 4 people are in the room, all damage Jackie deals is increased by 4/2 = 2 points.

Reasoning:
I don't know if this applies to allies as well, but even if it doesn't, it's effectively a free damage boost to help you clear out packed rooms. If it DOES apply to allies, though... it goes veeeery well with Swomp's mentor perks, as well as skills like Emotive.

Personal Cloud
Effects:
A cloud icon circles loosely around Jackie and occasionally strikes the ground with an electrical explosion, dealing 8 damage to enemies and shocking them. The lightning strike deals no damage if Jackie is disguised with Fake It Til You Make It.

Reasoning:
This little lifesaver will occasionally strike everyone under it for decent damage and a very, very useful stun. The only downside is you can't decide where it targets... it typically sticks close enough that it'll consistently hit bosses, though.

Purchase Protection
Effects:
Whenever Jackie purchases something worth at least $10, she gains 1 armor. Does not apply when buying things with Styxcoin.

Reasoning:
Typically, everything except weapons in a shop costs more than ten dollars. You might not be able to afford more than one or two things every time you visit a shop, but that's still one or two bits of extra armor thrown in on every floor.

Recruiter
Effects:
When close to an enemy, pressing the interact button/key will make them an ally.

Reasoning:
Admittedly, money is better spent on shops than your foes. Still, the ability to instantly remove any foe AND make them your partner for a nominal fee? Objectively, that's pretty good. It's certainly nice to just be able to buy a particularly pesky enemy to your side, making some rough rooms a lot more bearable.

Retaliatory
Effects:
Jackie deals 100% more damage for 3 seconds after being hit.

Reasoning:
It's a brief window of opportunity, but for those small few seconds, you will be REALLY dishing back the hurt you just received.

Team Player
Effects:
When you would take damage, your allies will take it instead.

Reasoning:
This one's VERY subjective, as this perk will be useless if you don't have any allies. If you're a Swomp Trainee (TM) like me, though, its effect is CRAZY powerful. I only rank it this high because when it pays off, it pays off very well. If you're using a different mentor, though, feel free to skip it.

The Cleaner
Effects:
Generates a friendly roomba with a knife taped to its top, which deals 1 damage per tick on contact and has 18 health. Enemies will attack the Cleaner and can destroy it, but it always respawns at the end of combat.

Reasoning:
Never let your memes be dreams. This'll give you a bonafide knife roomba buddy that'll do a steady stream of one damage to anything it wanders into. One of the more underwhelming allies you can receive, but never a bad one to have. Plus, you can Rolodex it for one of the harder to get entries if you hit an enemy standing on it with the card! Don't worry, it won't hold a grudge for murdering it for a journal entry. Probably.

Time is Money
Effects:
All money Jackie finds is doubled, but she slowly loses money over time (including while out of combat). Jackie gets a sun visor.

If Ray is Jackie's mentor, this skill cannot cause Jackie to go into debt and will not reduce her money further if she is already in debt.

Reasoning:
The drain rate isn't all that exorbitant, so as long as you go at a moderately decent pace, you'll quickly end up raking in the big bucks. I've had runs where this helped me easily rack up 200 bucks, which lets you buy out an entire store if you wanted.

Unapproachable
Effects:
A sawblade slowly spins around Jackie's body, damaging enemies and items around it.

Reasoning:
The blade does 4 damage with each hit, easily racking up a lot of extra damage so long as you stick close to your target. Plus, it'll also hurt and deter anything trying to sneak up on you.

Upper Body Strength
Effects:
When Jackie holds a Heavy item, it does not decrease her movement speed, and she does not drop it when dodge rolling. Gives Jackie huge arms.

Reasoning:
The one downside to huge weapons is how much they slow your movement and attack speed, and this'll make those weapons light as a feather, finally opening these powerful tools up to being somewhat viable. Now if only this perk could make heavy weapons more common...

Vindictive
Effects:
After Jackie takes damage (but not armor damage), she heals half a heart if she defeats the enemy that hurt her within 3 seconds.

Reasoning:
This would be a strong contender for S tier if it had any real use against bosses. Simply mow down whatever fool just hit you and regain anything you lost. Offers a TON of sustainability so long as you're efficient at targeting anything that strikes you.

Wear Many Hats
Effects:
Jackie gets a hat that gives 2 bonus damage to all attacks, and each additional hat she wears adds another 1 bonus damage. Do note that every hat will extend Jackie's hitbox.

Reasoning:
A simply effective damage boost that applies to you just for picking it up, and can grow even higher if you happen to get any other perks that provide hats. Plus, the hat it gives you is just plain silly.

Win Friends & Influence Monsters
Effects:
There is an 85% chance that the last enemy in each combat will become permanently charmed, as long as it is not a boss and Jackie does not already have an ally that was charmed in this way.

Reasoning:
Pretty dang good. This will provide you with a constant slew of teammates as you progress through dungeons, easily replacing any that are lost, and will also end rooms early for you as combat will end once the second to last foe falls, the surviving enemy immediately switching to your side.

The so-so skills. These ones provide nice perks, but are usually just 'eh, neat' and side bonuses you may or may not notice much. Maybe worth getting if you have a load of spare cash or a curse you don't mind much, but feel free to pass up on these if it'd be a hassle.

Action-Oriented
Effects:
Explosions behind Jackie deal 2x as much damage to enemies and none to her.

Reasoning:
Flavor-wise, this is amazing. The 'cool guys don't look at explosions' trope integrated into gameplay. Sadly, given it relies on the way you're facing, more often than not you'll be too busy focusing on fighting to focus on facing away from bombs. It'll still occasionally cancel explosions you might not have noticed, though, as well as blow enemies sky high.


Aggro Crab's Blessing
Effects:
When a combat begins, there is a 20% chance that all enemies will be "blessed" and attack each other instead of Jackie. Enemies that Jackie damages will attack her as normal, but may still attack other enemies.

Boss rooms can be blessed, but this skill does not affect the boss.

Reasoning:
Honestly? I can never really tell when this is helping or not. The only indication is love emojis floating off charmed enemies. It sounds good on paper, but odds are you won't really notice it helping too much.

Bridge Burner
Effects:
All fire effects become green. Fire deals 4 damage per tick (or 2 to resistant targets), and objects and enemies catch fire more quickly. Jackie does not take extra damage.

Reasoning:
This skill... confuses me. I don't see anything about it in the description, but I swear enemies would randomly ignite while I had this and no other fire based perks. If that's an actual unsaid effect, it's not bad, but at the end of the day fire effects aren't common enough to make this anything more than a 'woah cool' bonus effect.

Buzzkill
Effects:
Jackie's critical chance becomes 66% against enemies that are at full health.

Reasoning:
Useful against low health enemies, letting you cleave through them with ease, but anything that survives the first hit renders the perk useless... I.E. the majority of foes you come across. Especially useless against bosses.

Cash Injection
Effects:
Jackie's damage increases by 10% per dollar she picks up, stacking up to 10 times for 100% extra damage. Each stack of the buff lasts 3.5 seconds.

Reasoning:
While not a bad effect at all, money requires you to directly walk over it if you haven't cleared a room. Running around gathering dollars during a fight isn't as exciting or as practical as you'd think, but it's a decent passive boost if you happen to snag some midcombat.

Chilling Glare
Effects:
The first enemy Jackie focuses on is instantly frozen. Recharges after 12 seconds.
Reasoning:
I wasn't much a fan of the glare effects... just a small bonus for focusing on things during a fight. I'd say this one is more useful than the rest, though, since it temporarily knocks an enemy out of the fight. It also allows you to wail on them/pick them up and smash them for an easy dispatch.

Cold Shoulder
Effects:
Taking armor damage freezes all enemies.

Reasoning:
Armor isn't really prevalent enough for this to occur all too often... but when it does, hoo, it's a pretty cool effect. Pun only half intended.

Cubicle Rewards Member
Effects:
All crates drop an additional 1 or 2 dollars.

Reasoning:
A penny saved is a penny earned. Still, an extra dollar or two purely from opening up boxes REALLY doesn't add up much. Free cash, hey, but far from the most useful money-based perk.

Digital Nomad
Effects:
Every 2-3 rooms, Jackie gets a random App. This countdown ticks down when a combat begins in a room, but will not progress if Jackie is holding an App when the combat starts.

Reasoning:
The epitome of 'oh, neat'. Never a bad perk, but a random extra app every once in awhile is hardly cause for celebration either.

Explosive Temper
Effects:
Jackie randomly explodes every 15-30 seconds, dealing 5 damage to enemies. These explosions can also damage weapons and props.

Reasoning:
A fun perk, but an unpredictable one. It can just as easily blow enemies away to give you room, or destroy something useful you were about to pick up. I found it a nice pick-up more often than not, but objectively, it's not the greatest either.

Financial Gains
Effects:
Jackie's damage multiplier changes and is found with the formula {\displaystyle 0.8+0.012*x}, where x is her current money. When Jackie has 0 dollars, she deals 0.8x as much damage. The damage multiplier caps at 2x, when Jackie has at least 100 dollars.

Reasoning:
Basically, get more money, hit harder. Have less money, hit weaker. Not a terrible perk, but odds are the value of spending your money far exceeds the value of holding onto it.

Heavy Hitter
Effects:
Heavy items deal 50% more damage.

Reasoning:
I'll be honest, I'm not 100% sure what weapons this applies to. If it's big and bulky weapons in general, like sledgehammers, it's pretty good. It could also be the weapons so big that Jackie strains to carry them, though, like ladders and giant bones. I'm pretty sure it's the latter, in which case the loss in movement/attack speed kinda offsets the damage. It's a nice increase to an already hard-hitting attack, though...

Keep It Simple, Stupid
Effects:
When Jackie has 2 or more copies of a weapon in her inventory, attacking with one of those items will deal 1 extra damage for each of those items. For instance, if Jackie has 2 Bone Clubs, attacking with one of them will deal 2 extra damage. If she has 3 Bone Clubs, attacking with one will deal 3 extra damage. This damage bonus does not apply to other items or skills.

Reasoning:
I can't give it a C since it's a flat damage boost if used correctly - and in some circumstances, like getting a healthy supply of hockey sticks/pickaxes from their respective floors, it can help. Buuuuut as you can expect, it's VERY limiting, forcing you to hold onto certain weapons to keep the effect going. Again, not worthless if you're getting a steady stream of a common weapon you like, but even then, it takes away the fun of switching things up.

Loaded for Bear
Effects:
Guns fire faster and have twice as much ammo.

Reasoning:
Guns aren't really frequent enough for this to get much use. But if you do get this and happen to see one... get it! Their limited ammo problems are eased with this, and they become a lot more fun and viable to work with.

Party Animal
Effects:
When Jackie's inventory is completely empty, a ping pong ball instantly appears in her hand. She can throw it to instantly get another ping pong ball, effectively creating infinite throwing weapons as long as she doesn't have any other weapons.

Reasoning:
I'm honestly not sure where to put this, since I only used it once. It just gives you an infinite supply of 1 damage throwable balls. Obviously synergizes very well with any throwing perk, but requires you to have have no other weapons on hand. It at least gives you a ranged option if you ever run out of tools, I guess? And it makes a certain final encounter pretty interesting if you take this into it.

Perfectionist
Effects:
All damage Jackie deals is increased by 2. However, if Jackie is hit, this buff is lost until she starts the next floor.

Reasoning:
Naturally, you get into this skill what you put into it. A damage boost if you play well, complete junk if you don't. With how easy it is to get hurt, it leans towards junk more often than not, and the damage boost for pulling it off doesn't really justify its stipulations. It never hurts you to have it, though... just don't go out of your way to get it.

Pickup Artist
Effects:
A critical hit against an enemy will make it temporarily charmed. Jackie gets a fedora.

Reasoning:
A nice benefit for those who end up with high crit chance, but odds are you'll be too busy beating the crap out of enemies to notice they've switched to your side.

Phone Addict
Effects:
The chance for enemies to drop Apps when defeated is increased by 6%.

Reasoning:
With the rarity of apps, an increase to their chances of appearing is always a plus. But... only 6%? Well, it's something, I guess. Works well with Kara, at least.

Power User
Effects:
Grants one extra use for all Apps.

Reasoning:
I'm just putting this down here because I personally didn't get much use out of this, and for most apps, it will in fact be relatively meh. HOWEVER, I can see this rising up to A if you're lucky enough to get certain apps... two heals from Self-Care, for instance, or two ally summons, two car rides, two cubes. Another one that goes great with Kara, since you can directly buy the best apps to take advantage of this.

Resourceful
Effects:
Cubicle boxes contain an extra item. Applies to Swomp Cubes.

Reasoning:
More often than not, that extra item is just gonna be something underwhelming. But hey, free stuff!

Room for Growth
Effects:
Adds one empty heart container to Jackie's max health.

Reasoning:
I can count the times this had a direct impact on my run on one hand. Heck, it might even be zero. But there's never a downside to having this, it'll just more often than not make a won run even more of a sure thing or have zero effect on a bad one.

Self-Starter
Effects:
Deal double damage briefly at the start of battle.

Reasoning:
I'm not sure how long this effect lasts, but it's not long enough to rank much higher than this. It encourages you to dive in and take risky moves in order to get the most use out of it before it expires, but if you just play normally with it, it's basically a big damage boost to the first few of your attacks.

Short Term Invester
Effects:
Upon taking the skill, Jackie loses all her money. In the beginning room of the next floor, her money will be returned, along with an extra 50 to 75% of what she invested.

Reasoning:
I was only ever offered this on the first floor when I had barely any money so, uh... yay, an extra five bucks? If you get it later on though, it can definitely be a hefty chunk of change. Best grabbed after you've perused the floor's store if possible, for obvious reasons.

Spear Header
Effects:
Hitting an enemy with the tip of a spear-type weapon will do double damage.

Reasoning:
I don't pay enough attention to weapon types to know how many spears there are... I presume it's basically any poking weapon with a bit of reach to it, like mops, brooms, pokers, and of course... Jobo spears. Already a pretty good weapon type for the range alone, and this'll make them even better. Its usefulness depends on the dungeon you get it in and how often you run into this weapon type, of course. Very useful in Winkydink, somewhat useful in Joblin, kinda garbage in Styxcoin.

Stress Eater
Effects:
For each piece of food Jackie eats, her damage temporarily increases by 100%. (Eating 1 piece of food makes her deal 2x damage, eating 2 pieces of food makes her deal 3x damage, so on and so forth.) This buff lasts about 20 seconds.

Reasoning:
I'll be real with you, there's basically no reason to ever get this. Food most often comes in shops (and rarely in boxes), so most often you'll snag a quick bite and then run off to get 10 seconds of hard hitting by the time you reach a room. If you're stuck with it, though, it's at least something, eh?

Sweat Equity
Effects:
Collecting either money or StyxCoins makes enemies nearby trip as if they had run over a water puddle. Only affects enemies that can trip. Seems to have a short cooldown.

Reasoning:
Has the exact same flaw as Cash Injection - purposely picking up money in a fight is a hassle, and as such this is more an accidental benefit you might accrue while moving around the field. Probably more useful than the other perk, at least.

Sword Mastery
Effects:
Doing a charge attack with a sharp weapon like a sword will send out a spinning circle in the direction Jackie's facing.

Reasoning:
I don't think I ever actually pulled this off, so I don't know how good the beam is or even what it looks like... but it adds a ranged effect to charged attacks with specific weapons, so that's good, I guess.

The Best Defense
Effects:
If you have none, gain armor from breaking an enemy's armor.

Reasoning:
It at least provides a steady stream of health if you're facing a lot of armored foes... but it offers no benefit otherwise, and even then, only being able to gain one armor at a time is rather mediocre. Understandable, though, because it'd be absolutely broken in certain scenarios otherwise.

Thought Leader
Effects:
Temporarily charms the first enemy Jackie focuses on. Recharges after 12 seconds.

Reasoning:
Basically gets you at least one temporary ally per room, which you'd think would be amazing, but surprisingly, doesn't actually add up to that much. It at least assures you'll never be fighting alone... for brief intervals.

Trailblazer
Effects:
When Jackie rolls, a small patch of fire appears where she was standing.

Reasoning:
I might be underselling this one, but I never got much use out of it. It at least sets aflame anything you dodge away from - just make sure you don't dodge back into the flames you just made.

Volatile
Effects:
All items Jackie throws explode after a brief delay. Any containers she throws (such as Cubicle cubes) will explode and be destroyed without dropping their contents.

Reasoning:
As far as the generally useless throw skills go, this is definitely one of the better ones... but a polished turd is still a turd. At least this one gives you a slew of explosives to pepper your opponents with if you've got enough junk to throw around.

The perks here range from 'provides basically no benefit' to 'will actually cost you the game'. There's still some use for some, but if there's any better perks available, always grab them instead.

Aggro Pal
Effects:
Spawns a friendly crab that walks around the room. Enemies do not attack it and it is invincible. Every 11 seconds, the crab emits a red ring, which gives Jackie +100% damage for 5 seconds if she is close.

Reasoning:
Pros: You get the company mascot/an adorable little crab following you
Cons: It's kinda useless, and also a missed opportunity. I thought that given it was AGGRO pal, it might draw enemy hits to it... but no, it just sporadically boosts your damage if happen to be by it. Way too situational, and a bit of a letdown. Very, very cute though.

Beta Tester
Effects:
Using an App electrocutes all enemies in a room.

Reasoning:
Perhaps useful if you're mentoring under Kara, but apps aren't typically frequent enough to warrant using this. Plus, it only activates on app use, so if you're using charges sparingly/have a one use app, you don't get much bang for your buck.

Bomb Dropper
Effects:
When Jackie dodge rolls, she drops a bomb where she started the roll. Bombs damage both Jackie and enemies, dealing 5 damage to enemies. Bombs are physics objects and can be affected by things like weapons and explosions.

Reasoning:
Grabbing this effectively turns the game into chaos mode. Every dodge will inevitably lead to furniture and enemies flying as bombs pop off. Kinda fun, but since the explosions can damage you too, you'll definitely end up hurting yourself sooner or later. It doesn't help that the damage to enemies is pretty low.

Cold Caller
Effects:
Items Jackie throws have a 25% chance to freeze enemies. When they do, they do not deal any damage.

Reasoning:
Throwing items is far from the most useful tactic to begin with... tacking on a very low freeze chance to it doesn't make it any better.

Crushin' It
Effects:
Blunt weapons ignore armor, leaving it intact but still dealing the normal amount of damage to an enemy.

Reasoning:
Admittedly, I never paid much attention to weapon types. Even if I did, this effect basically amounts to 'bypass the one hit you need to get through an enemy's armor with a specific weapon type'. Perhaps useful against some of the heavily armored/armor granting foes in the Styxcoin mines, but that's the one situation where it really shines, and even then, not by much.

Defensive
Effects:
Jackie gains 1 armor whenever she "overheals," which is when she recovers health while at full health or when she recovers more health than is necessary (for instance, eating an Avocado Toast while missing only half a heart).

Reasoning:
Given how easy it is to get hurt, this is a perk you won't get a lot of mileage from. 'Overhealing' is a pretty rare occurrence, and if you're successfully pulling it off, odds are one extra health won't be helping much in the long run.

Exit Strategist
Effects:
Exiting a crawl explodes whatever you were under.

Reasoning:
Basically worthless. HOWEVER, this is the only perk that's required for an achievement at one point. If you want it, simply endorse this (or pick it up) in the Styxcoin mines, roll under one of the mech pilots, and enjoy your free sense of accomplishment.

Fiery Glare
Effects:
The first enemy Jackie focuses on instantly catches fire. Recharges after 12 seconds.

Reasoning:
None of the glare perks are particularly exciting. This one gets you some extra damage on an enemy now and then, but doesn't add much (and can get you set aflame too if they run into you).

Fragile Ego
Effects:
Armed attacks deal 2 extra damage, but items break 7 times faster than normal.

Reasoning:
I want to like this perk, I really do, but when it says fragile, it means fragile. Even weapons with increased durability will only last a few hits at best. This leads to you basically grabbing everything you can find in a room and using it a couple times, then grabbing something else when it breaks in a never-ending cycle. Run out of things to use? Tough luck, you're stuck punching. Definitely a fun perk that makes for a brand new style of play, encouraging using whatever you can lay your hands on, but is also terribly likely to ruin your run when all your good stuff falls apart and you're stuck grabbing for impractical weapons.

Good Under Pressure
Effects:
When Jackie has 1 heart of health, her critical chance becomes 30%. When she has just half a heart, her critical chance becomes 100% instead.

Reasoning:
If your health is low enough to trigger this effect, the higher damage output probably isn't going to save you.

Hard Headed
Effects:
Deals 2 damage to an enemy upon rolling into them. Jackie gets a hard hat.

Reasoning:
The damage this gives you is rather negligible considering it wants you to roll headlong into danger. A bonus to damage for when you're dodging around the battlefield, but the damage is so pitiful I can't really rank it any higher.

Hot Friends
Effects:
Burning enemies will be charmed to your side.

Reasoning:
I'm... not entirely sure why this perk exists? It gains you allies, but only if you're constantly damaging them all the while? It seems counterproductive. Maybe useful for keeping enemies off you if you're flinging fire around, but its contradictory nature just makes it feel like a sham.

Hot Shot
Effects:
Thrown items will automatically ignite.
Reasoning:
Throwing items is never really a good strategy, and setting them on fire still doesn't change that. Perhaps useful for the occasional chuck and burn for some extra damage, but I'd personally rather use that slot to hold another weapon than use it to throw fireballs.

Intimidating
Effects:
When a combat begins, there is a 20% chance that all enemies will instantly be knocked prone.

Reasoning:
Now this is how you make an entrance. You walk in, strike everyone to their knees... annnnd then they get right back up and kick your butt. Really doesn't add anything at all.

Pugilist
Effects:
Increases unarmed damage from 1 to 2. Unarmed damage stuns enemies like regular weapon attacks do.

Reasoning:
You should, ideally, never be fighting barehanded. Ever. In the unlikely circumstance that you are, though, this'll at least make it a fairer fight. Really, its only real use is for a certain mentor task that requires you to defeat a bunch of enemies with only your fists.

Scrappy
Effects:
Junk items deal 50% more damage.

Reasoning:
Junk items are, well... junk. You should be aiming to use proper weapons whenever possible. But if there's nothing good on hand, this definitely eases the pain of an awful arsenal a bit.

She Don't Miss
Effects:
Throwing a weapon will make it curve in an attempt to hit the nearest enemy.

Reasoning:
Might help with Rolodex Cards and the very annoying tendency for enemies to SIDESTEP RIGHT AS YOU'RE TRYING TO SNAG THEM ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, but like a lot of other throw perks, you're not going to get much out of this otherwise.

Vertically Integrated
Effects:
Replaces the dodge roll with a dodge jump. Invincibility window is shorter than normal dodge roll. Skills that activate when dodge rolling, such as Bomb Dropper, will also activate when dodge jumping.

Reasoning:
The biggest letdown in the game. This completely changes up the dynamic of dodging and would theoretically make the game a lot different and entertaining... except the endlag for jumping is SO DANG LONG. You'll jump out of harm's way and be a sitting duck for a good second or two, killing your combat flow and giving foes a chance to attack again. One of the rare run enders.

Yeet!
Effects:
Jackie's thrown items travel much faster, and the throwing animation is shorter. When Jackie throws an item, there is a chance she says "Yeet!"

Notably, thrown items do not deal any extra damage with this skill.

Reasoning:
The most useless of the already useless throwing perks. This provides basically zero benefit in any situation. ...Except you can giggle to yourself by making Jackie yell YEET a lot, perhaps.