ARK: Survival Evolved

ARK: Survival Evolved

152 betyg
How to get a significant other after playing ark
Av Mr. Plague Doc
This guide will show you how to get a girlfriend, after you played ark for over 2 hours
10
6
4
7
4
2
   
Utmärkelse
Favorit
Favoritmarkerad
Avfavoritmarkerad
Step one: go outside
First, you have to wipe your bum after you have been (probably) playing for over 1000+ hours. no, its not "Gamer gunk" its feces.

Next, you have to go outside and see the sun. and whatever you do, don't look at someone's dog and say "OMG THAT'S A DIRE WOLF". I already tried that, and got sent to a psychiatric hospital.

final part of this step is to get exercise. join the local gym, go for a bike ride, and don't think about Ark: Survival evolved.

With that said, onto the next step.
Step two: get yourself ready
Firstly, get yourself a Target person that you are moderately interested in. This can include the following:

1. someone at the park
2. someone at the gym
3. someone who doesn't know you're stalking them through their window is in the neighborhood
4. etc.

Next, get to know them a little better. talk to them, befriend them, kidnap them, its your choice. (and no, the "forcetame" command doesn't work.)

lastly, get yourself some drip. Hoes love the tuxedo getup, but that is just too good for you. in my experience, a nice jacket will do. (something you can try, that is a little risky and depends on the size of your "rocket", is you can just show up to their house completely nude)
Step three: Go in for the kill
You did it buster, you followed every step in this guide. now, its time to finally ask them out. be honest. and whatever you do, don't hold them at gunpoint. I got pepper-sprayed trying this method and the police had to put her on witness protection

Now, if you followed the steps, you either got yourself the girl, or you ended up in the slums known as prison. Either way, share your tips, tricks, and maybe even accomplishments in the comments! i'm sure fellow virgins would love to hear your fiction stories of accomplishments.
64 kommentarer
Shoshomini 27 apr @ 10:59 
wait step three is Go in for the kill... i mean if you say so:D
Shoshomini 23 apr @ 21:16 
but do they have ascended weapons or smth?
Shoshomini 23 apr @ 21:15 
oh well
Mr. Plague Doc  [skapare] 24 mar @ 13:15 
I tried that and the Police didnt quite like it so, not recommended
Shoshomini 24 mar @ 12:38 
Just search for a high level female and get some tranqs
Mr. Plague Doc  [skapare] 28 feb @ 11:42 
np homeboy👍
clover 28 feb @ 10:27 
thank you for helping me get a girlfriend
Mr. Plague Doc  [skapare] 4 sep, 2024 @ 19:52 
@Natural
Just tested, still works on dudes and enby folk. My boyfriend and I have never been happier.
Natural 4 sep, 2024 @ 17:05 
can you make one for how to get a boyfriend that way i can try
Pike 1 jul, 2024 @ 7:00 
thanks for the help