ARK: Survival Evolved

ARK: Survival Evolved

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How to get a significant other after playing ark
Mr. Plague Doc 님이 작성
This guide will show you how to get a girlfriend, after you played ark for over 2 hours
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즐겨찾기 해제
Step one: go outside
First, you have to wipe your bum after you have been (probably) playing for over 1000+ hours. no, its not "Gamer gunk" its feces.

Next, you have to go outside and see the sun. and whatever you do, don't look at someone's dog and say "OMG THAT'S A DIRE WOLF". I already tried that, and got sent to a psychiatric hospital.

final part of this step is to get exercise. join the local gym, go for a bike ride, and don't think about Ark: Survival evolved.

With that said, onto the next step.
Step two: get yourself ready
Firstly, get yourself a Target person that you are moderately interested in. This can include the following:

1. someone at the park
2. someone at the gym
3. someone who doesn't know you're stalking them through their window is in the neighborhood
4. etc.

Next, get to know them a little better. talk to them, befriend them, kidnap them, its your choice. (and no, the "forcetame" command doesn't work.)

lastly, get yourself some drip. Hoes love the tuxedo getup, but that is just too good for you. in my experience, a nice jacket will do. (something you can try, that is a little risky and depends on the size of your "rocket", is you can just show up to their house completely nude)
Step three: Go in for the kill
You did it buster, you followed every step in this guide. now, its time to finally ask them out. be honest. and whatever you do, don't hold them at gunpoint. I got pepper-sprayed trying this method and the police had to put her on witness protection

Now, if you followed the steps, you either got yourself the girl, or you ended up in the slums known as prison. Either way, share your tips, tricks, and maybe even accomplishments in the comments! i'm sure fellow virgins would love to hear your fiction stories of accomplishments.
댓글 64
Shoshomini 2025년 4월 27일 오전 10시 59분 
wait step three is Go in for the kill... i mean if you say so:D
Shoshomini 2025년 4월 23일 오후 9시 16분 
but do they have ascended weapons or smth?
Shoshomini 2025년 4월 23일 오후 9시 15분 
oh well
Mr. Plague Doc  [작성자] 2025년 3월 24일 오후 1시 15분 
I tried that and the Police didnt quite like it so, not recommended
Shoshomini 2025년 3월 24일 오후 12시 38분 
Just search for a high level female and get some tranqs
Mr. Plague Doc  [작성자] 2025년 2월 28일 오전 11시 42분 
np homeboy👍
clover 2025년 2월 28일 오전 10시 27분 
thank you for helping me get a girlfriend
Mr. Plague Doc  [작성자] 2024년 9월 4일 오후 7시 52분 
@Natural
Just tested, still works on dudes and enby folk. My boyfriend and I have never been happier.
Natural 2024년 9월 4일 오후 5시 05분 
can you make one for how to get a boyfriend that way i can try
Pike 2024년 7월 1일 오전 7시 00분 
thanks for the help