"Behold, an image of myself, Gunnar Skyrider, first of his name. This photograph was taken in the deep South of USA, specifically in an area where the southerners reminiscence upon their Confederate heritage. It was here that I found my beloved, Ygritte the Hooters girl, who became captivated with my bulging muscles and muscular physique. Now, while she initially attempted to resist my advances, once I utilised the trusty linen rope and hogtied her she relented and consented in travelling back to my abode in Denmark. Now, several years have passed and we are a lawfully wed and merry couple, who are anticipating our first batch of offspring."