The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion Game of the Year Edition (2009)

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion Game of the Year Edition (2009)

349 ratings
How to not be an oblivion npc
By Sharkmeleon
Learn how to act normally infront of humans.
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Introduction to acting normal
Have you ever walked up to someone only to have them leave in horror due to your facial contortions and slurred speech? Well this is the right guide for you. In this guide you will learn how to act in a socially acceptable manner, leading to an improved life, due to you having many human friends, all in just 2 easy to follow steps!
Step 1: acknowledgment
The first step to correcting your life style is to deduce what exactly needs to be changed. To do this you will need a few things:

  • video camera
  • legs (for walking/standing)
  • trench coat
  • any kind of adhesive (tape recommended)
  • I-beam
  • iron plate
  • welder
  • industrial stapler

Now that you have gathered all necessary items for the experiment, follow these steps:

1. tack weld the I-beam to the aluminum plate

2. adhere the camera to the non welded side of the beam

3. staple the plate to the front of the trench coat

4. find a human by walking forward, if you hit a wall turn right

5. once a human is located activate the camera and start recording

6. converse with the human

7. analyze footage

Once you realize what you did wrong you are ready for step 2
step 2: action
Now that you know what is wrong you can attempt to fix it by using common sense, for example: if people are frightened by your eyes wear sunglasses below you can see how this man fixed his appearance with only a pair of sunglasses. Another amazing example of an npc turned human is the man pictured below. He used to be an Argonian, but with a little bit of makeup and a wig, he almost looks completely human. This paired with his excellent mimicry of human emotion is truly inspiring for all of the npcs of the world. His invention "facebook" gathered data and personal information from its users to create an accurate and believable persona for him to use, and you can use it too! Just go to: facebook.com/humanpersonalitycalculator

This man is the shining example for npcs everywhere, and his charitable acts will be remembered by the ncp community for years to come.
Closing thoughts
Remember that it is always possible to become human, and all you have to do, is never be yourself.

points donations are appreciated
58 Comments
𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐬 5 May @ 6:22am 
01010100 01101000 01100001 01101110 01101011 01110011 00101100 00100000 01100110 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111 01110111 00100000 01001110 01010000 01000011 00100000 00111010 00101001
lumberjack 18 Oct, 2024 @ 4:40am 
Anyone got any cats?
xkillerxdeath 10 Jan, 2024 @ 5:06am 
Error server unreachable 5Axxxxxxxxx92
Rosebay 9 Jan, 2024 @ 9:59pm 
instructions unclear, created a spell that lets me jump several miles in the air, but not survive a several mile fall. Please send help, i'm gonna h-
Thanos Chungus 28 Nov, 2023 @ 7:47pm 
Instructions unclear, when someone asks me about rumors I say " I understand the fighters guild has been recruiting, not a bad way to make some money if you've got the stones for it"
........... 8 Aug, 2023 @ 6:28pm 
Zuck is a bit out of practice though. You can tell he isn't a real human.
joryma 4 Jun, 2023 @ 12:20pm 
rip stalinfortime
akselpickle 4 Jun, 2023 @ 11:58am 
person below sucks big nut
Stalinfortime 8 Feb, 2023 @ 3:47pm 
As a well adjusted human being, I can now act like an npc. Thank you.
Tubbie 3 Feb, 2023 @ 10:58pm 
After being called a NPC for years, I have finally acted normal. Thank you Sharkmeleon.