Medical Certificate
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"Over the course of this year my expansive medical knowledge has been ridiculed and mocked, with many a cynical onlooker proclaiming doubt regarding my overt medical background. Well here is the fragment of evidence, the irrefutable proof that I was honest regarding my claims. For too long we, as the denizens of Wales have bore the brunt of the deluded scoundrels whips, we shall suffer their derision no longer. I, as a genuinely qualified medical practitioner will be able to diagnose you with all forms of ailments and will be able to remedy you with any medication that is locked away inside my coffers. Deal with it. I infiltrated the Saes university grounds in Oxford, masquerading as a Saesneg and adopting a pommy English accent. I conducted my work discretely, analysing this so called renowned university grounds. What I discovered was that it was all a sham, they teach nought but sorcery and the illicit arts in this region. They seek to beguile and enrapture the naive youth, who flock to this educational sphere under the dishonest promises of seeking higher education, to polymorph into a venerable sage. I couldn't stand it, my mind was assailed in all directions by snobby, condescending Anglo Saxons. As such, I retreated to my homelands in Newport and exploited the emergence of lockdowns and the delusional public's fear to study from afar, acquiring my degree by learning through digital means. Now I walk as a God amongst men, a deity gliding through the plains, riding atop a flaming stallion and swinging his glittering broadsword throughout the oblivious masses. En guarde, en guarde, a duel shall commence, may the wings of the Snowdonian eagle grant us a robust constitution and prowess."
11 Comments
✟Masked Aristocrat✟ 30 Jan @ 5:56am 
Ah yes, because a medical certificate that is clearly based in OXFORD and which is a postgraduate diploma in sleep medicine, which requires a genuine medical degree as a prerequisite, in order to attain said diploma, is clearly acquired from completing an online course. This is of course omitting the fact that the benign medical practitioner, Doctor Quercus, resides in Wales, which is in close proximity to Oxford, providing him with the ability to attend the university course in person.

It would be a wholly honorable venture to simply be candid and acknowledge that whilst you yourself are a bumbling, hapless invertebrate, who scowls and burrows around in the depths of banality, that there presides others of a more erudite temperament. Men of valour, creating the future of medicine and academia and using it to enliven this very realm.
Midflyer 24 Jan @ 7:35pm 
wow you took a postgrad part-time online course congratz, surely that means you're a MD or at all licensed to provide medical attention, surely it will help you feel justified in your mental illness
RapGodJonklerGaming 11 Aug, 2024 @ 5:03am 
nice bro
jaid 15 Feb, 2023 @ 8:25pm 
ill find ye mate
Malignity. 23 Mar, 2022 @ 12:40pm 
grats
Omnia ad Deum 2 Nov, 2021 @ 8:49am 
Doctor Richtofen
Cho Ching‑lai 9 Aug, 2021 @ 10:16pm 
I am a doctor
KiGMö 9 Aug, 2021 @ 10:41am 
lol
Htiud47 9 Aug, 2021 @ 1:48am 
Suck my tortured balls
Htiud47 9 Aug, 2021 @ 1:48am 
Hiraeth