Team Fortress 2
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How to never lose and only win!
Από Freddy FNaFBear
Hello Gamers!
Today I shall teach you the ways of victory in this old ass video game! Be warned, once you've obtained the forbidden knowledge you may never return!
   
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Step 1: Secure the keys!
Do not fret small gamers. Everyone knows giving your hard-earned moneys to the one and only Gaben is the source of all power in TF2. All you have to do is buy a MINIMUM of 1 key...

OR for advanced gamers only spend $3,000 on the Golden Frying Pan in order to assert dominance in the server.
Step 2: Ascend from darkness!
Stop looking and jerking at the F****** title screen scrub. LAUNCH A MATCH!!!

Step 3: Rain fire!
What's that champ? Your epic cosmetics are not granting victories? Well its time to use the well respected combination of...

The Pyro
















The Phlogistinator

















The Scorch Shot
















The Powerjack

Now with all 4 powers combined you will become the most respected player in the server! Now lets use the acronym of S.K.I.L.L. to help you learn the ways of victory!

S: Press W and Mouse 1
K: Don't stop pressing W+M1
I: Taunt for well deserved crits when your "MMMMM" bar is red
L: Scorch shot the Snipers
L: Scorch shot EVERYONE
Step 4: Unleash the horde!
Nice job idiot now the whole server is running phlog pyro because of your immense skill.

Step 5: Skewer the winged beast!
Fairly straight forward gamer. Just focus the top scoring player on the opposite team until they rage quit from your immense skill levels!

Step 6: Wield a fist of iron!
Well champ you are almost there, but it is time to become the ultimate melee champion. I know what you're thinking, "Oh boy I can't wait to play Demoknight!" WRONG Demoknight is for the weak baby men! You want to be man man! Here's how you can achieve this.

The Heavy

The Buffalo Steak Sandvitch











The Fists of Steel









With your new found strength get out there and destroy those baby men!
Step 7: Raise Hell!
Congratulations sport, you have really truly become the most epic gamer around! Now no one will be able to stop you in this old ass game!

Step 8: Freedom!
Uninstall and go outside cause you'll never beat the chad bots!

12 σχόλια
boray123 14 Απρ 2024, 8:56 
I genuinely love this guide so much I dont know why its just funny
I have no mood but i must cry 14 Απρ 2024, 4:27 
How to not lose - dont play it.
internet angel 24 Μαρ 2022, 21:48 
thanks to this guide i now have many women
scout gaming 21 Οκτ 2021, 14:07 
instructions unclear, blew up japan
John 16 Οκτ 2021, 11:18 
gamer moment
John-Beton 16 Οκτ 2021, 1:11 
the ammount of bs in this thing is huge but i like tat you took the time to make this
:steamthumbsdown:
A Pebble 14 Οκτ 2021, 8:17 
"wield a fist of iron"

*fists of steel*
Zender 14 Οκτ 2021, 0:59 
gaming
Milan_Frans_InMyBathtub88 13 Οκτ 2021, 18:04 
im cat gamer now thx i no longer have cancer
Furry Smuggler 12 Οκτ 2021, 6:04 
gamer approved