I drink lots of vodka. That cleans out my system, and even cleans my teeth (I haven’t brushed in years, and haven’t had a cavity since).

I also eat a liverwurst sandwich pretty much every day – to counterbalance the effects the vodka has on my liver. I make my sandwiches on seeded rye (because it’s the healthiest bread), with mayo (because eggs are the best protein; I use kewpie, because the msg makes it taste better), coarse mustard (good for the white blood cells), zucchini pickles (because they taste good), and a bunch of baby spinach (just for filler; it could honestly be left out).

I also eat a lot of canned fish (mostly sardines, but also the occasional fancy smoked oysters) on saltines. They give you all your essential amino acids, and provide a nice opportunity to try out various hot sauces, which are generally very low in calories, while high in flavor and immensely prodigious to healthiness.