A Visit from St. Patty

T'was the night before KF, when all through the moon base,
All the Zeds were stirring, especially Patty’s face.
The Trader’s guns were hung on the wall with care,
In hopes that players would soon be there.

The pubs were nestled all snug in their camping spot,
While visions of Christmas Steve were on their thoughts.
And Patty in his Santa suit and Scrake in ice,
Had just settled their brains on something naughty and nice.

When at the end of the wave there arose such a chatter,
“I need money!” From all the pubs yelled as they clatter.
Away from the pubs we ran off to the camp,
The pub, still at the trader, died running on the ramp.

Frustrated and angry he raged on freely,
“WHERE’D YOU GO?! WHY’D YOU LEAVE ME?!”
When, what to my wandering eyes, beneath my aim,
(insert pub name) has left the game.

With a little laugh and a bit of glee,
A pub’s heart grew 3x angrier we did see.
Back to the game, the new wave started,
The medic racing quickly, teammates he darted.

“Healing Commando! Now Support! Now 'Zerk and Firebad!
On Sharp! On Demo! Myself and the rest are all glad!
To the trader and the expensive weapon wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

As quick as that minute trader time went,
Back to the camp we typed and sent.
We met with an obstacle, no pass-through players was on,
So we crashed and cluttered, racing back to spawn.

And then in a moment, I heard them coming,
The grunting and moaning of all Zeds thumping.
As I thought in my head, and was turning around,
There came into the room, quad glowing Nutpounds.

They were dressed all in red, from head to foot,
That’s when the random pub decided to shoot.
Their yellow glowing centers quickly turned red,
When all were angered and no words were said.

Their eyes, how they twinkled! Their drills, how merry!
Their rampage was unmatched, stomping zeds like a cherry!
We all vote-kicked the pub, but the only one left alive,
Devante came with his M14 and perfect aim, did survive.

The trader wave began, and all low on dosh,
Patty wave was sure to have an, “OHMYGOSH!”
As the players rushed and bought things in a hurry,
Patty showed up, and we all ran in a scurry.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I cried when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
A rocket was shot to my pipes, now I am dead.

As I spec’ed the rest, watching them work,
I saw the pub, knifing us cause he’s a jerk.
And with great justice I did see!
Chaingun death, was dealt to he.

With the last alive, Devante once more,
He melee locked Patty and closed a door.
When Patty killed himself with a rocket in our sights,
We screamed, “GOOD GAME TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT!”