This is Fizzy, AKA Sono, and this is mostly a guide to non-doctor based stuff for doctors, like surviving, killing, etc, but there is some medical stuff involved.

To qualify as a true paranoid doctor, you must meet these requirements:

• When somebody comes anywhere near, you hover your finger over the hotkey to equip your weapon
  
• You can easily murder someone and frame it as an accident using meds
  
• When you find a troublemaker, you take your time (but you don't wait too long) before killing him in a split second with fentanyl
  
• A medbay accessible to everyone makes you shudder in horror
  
• You snatch all the deadly meds and the gooood ♥♥♥♥ before the other medic does
  
• You're always ready to bring both death and life
  
• You fill up your medical clothing with the more important backup meds, since the toolbox likes to ♥♥♥♥ with you
  
• You don't save those who you deem unfit to serve
  
• You're ready to take control of the sub at any second
  
• You know who everyone sides with, hates, fears, trusts, etc.
  
• You're quick to assume that certain behaviors indicate that someone is about to attack, though you're wrong a third of the time
  
• You kill without what the others consider "evidence," but you know they were about to kill you, right?
  
• You've fended off the entire crew with fentanyl and stealing weapons from your victims
  
• When you've decided someone must die, they don't get another word out before they're dead

Okay, the round just started and you are medic, wonderful. If you're not medic, make yourself one, kill the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ doctor, or just yeet yourself out the airlock along with all the meds and fuel rods.

You're gonna want to be quick because chances are you've got a rival fellow medic, and you know how greedy doctors are. If you don't spawn in the medbay, get there before the other doctor, memorize the ship layout, read the signs (as if anyone in Baro knew how to read). If you see a syringe gun, snatch it quick, snatch all of them if you don't trust your coworker. Then search the medbay for all the deadly poisons, take the serious ones and if there's fentanyl or chloral hydrate, fill that syringe gun with that sweet sweet nectar of doom.

Now you want to grab three things: plastiseal, morphine, blood. These are your main meds for when you're feeling ambivalent (or even generous) toward your crew. You may also want to get some naloxone, steroids, and extra morphine or plastiseal, depending on the scenario.

If there's no toolbox in the medbay, either hope one of the engineers/mechanics drop dead early for timing out or somethin, or make your own toolbox with steel. Make sure to stand waiting at the fabricator once it's nearly done so your dirty crewmates don't get their germs all over it.

Once you have a toolbox, make sure to fill it with 1+ plastiseal, 1+ morphine, plasma cutters, and anything else you want. Some scenario-based suggestions:
-Calyxanide or antibiotics (if there's no calyxanide) for husk egg deliveries, outbreaks
-MORE-phine when the difficulty is high (10 ♥♥♥♥♥♥ molochs are gonna start tossing around the ship and everyone inside)
-Poison when you know there's some asswipes on, when you have no syringe gun, or just want extra ammo for it
-Screwdriver if you're gonna be wiring, if there's a wire griefer, etc.
-Wrench if you feel like fixing stuff
-Crowbar for breaking into armory to mutiny, or defend yourself because security is incompetent

(You'll want those those plasma cutters for breaking free from places or from unwelding your door after a crisis.)

Here we have instructions on handling minor, short-term, and more generalized events as a paranoid trigger-happy medic.

The ship is flooding!
Oh nooo, the crew is drowning. You know those ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ are gonna leave doors open and flock to dry land, so don't rely too much on your medbay to keep you safe if that door can be opened by anyone but you. If you know any rooms that are remote or hard to access, stay there if you can't get a suit.

If you do get a suit, I guess it'd be a good idea to look around for helpless brainlets that couldn't escape the suffocating waters of the harsh, cold Europan ocean. If you're feeling merciful toward these lesser beings, either drag them somewhere dry or get them a suit (or a diving mask if there isn't pressure, but not likely), then give CPR. Stabilozine, liquid oxygenite, and deusizine can help too, but I'm not sure why'd you waste your precious meds on these ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ panini heads.

If you're feeling especially heroic, or bored of watching people freak out, you can fix the flooding yourself. Now, use your brain, that's what makes you different from these asswipes. Check the status monitor to find the leaks if there's power, watch the top right for the flooding alert to flash red, and remember that irregularly-shaped rooms probably have more than one hull, especially ballasts and edges of the ship, so if the leak is in a different hull of the room, the flooding alert won't flash. Weld that ♥♥♥♥♥ up and watch everyone return to normal and assume it was one of the following:

• ADMIN ABUSE
  
• A glitch
  
• Pump grief
  
• A hole that magically sealed itself

Some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is trying to save someone!
Some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ idiot is giving CPR to some other idiot that's clearly bleeding out. More often than not, a crewmate will act on its primitive instinct and begin humping people who are downed (if they even realize that they're not dead yet). This is really annoying for several reasons. First of all, if it's an emergency and you need to rush over and inject meds manually instead of using the health overlay, half the time you'll give that stupid meat sack (the moving one) the meds instead of the other meat sack (the half-dead one that's screaming "GUYS IM NOT DEAD" even though no one can hear you when you're down). This untrained idiot's CPR is also doing more damage than help most of the time, giving the victim internal damage. It's also just so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ enraging watching these brainlets try and do stuff. If the victim is actually suffering from oxygen loss, it's possible the living brainlet can save the KOd one, which is only further enraging as he makes a mockery of your career out of plain luck.

Just use the health overlay or cuss out the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ until he goes away, you can just kill him if the server population tends to be much more stupid or anarchist than usual, and you'll likely get away with it. Actually, maybe you can just kill them both.

I can't do ♥♥♥♥ with 5 FPS!!!
Hope the round ends or that the devs optimize the game.

Server is so LAGGY!!!
Hope the round ends [x2] or that you die while trying to walk up the same stairs 50 times to get away from a mudraptor.

We're out of meds!
The other medic took all the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ meds, or decided everyone with 1% internal damage needed morphine, and now you don't have ♥♥♥♥. Time to make your own ♥♥♥♥.

Most subs have some raw materials in it. Deconstruct it and boom you can easily make more meds. Also search supply cabinets. Respawn shuttles tend to have some meds on them too, unless the server is using one of the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ vanilla shuttles.

Someone is after my superior blood and genetics!
If someone is trying to kill you, hopefully you've listened to my previous advice and you have some sort of weapon on you. If not, try to alert security or the captain, and hope they are only semi-brainlets, a rare breed. If this doesn't work, either try to find a weapon (just chloral hydrate will work), find somewhere hidden to weld yourself in, leave the ship if its safe to do without being left behind, or try to disguise yourself with someone else's ID and a mask/suit. No ID at all can work too, but others may become suspicious as well.

If you do have a weapon, try to find somewhere secluded with a windowed door, so you can see when they're coming. Don't try to hunt them down, you should wait for them somewhere so that you are ready to have a plan and are more comfortable with the room. Keep your weapon ready, and once you see them approaching assess them quickly. See what weapon they have, if they have a suit or armor, etc. If your enemy has body armor, their chest is obviously a lot harder to do damage to. A helmet will prevent instakill headshots with dual-wield pistols (one of the best weapons), and a suit will mitigate damage somewhat everywhere, but less in the head, so the dual-wield instakill could sometimes work. If they are armored and you aren't, poisons or stunning are the best plan. 2 units of fentanyl shot from a syringe gun will kill him in a split-second, and chloral hydrate or a stun baton, stun gun, stun grenade, can all knock him out, giving you time to cuff him, take off his armor, take his guns, etc. and leave him helpless.

One of the deadliest weapons are revolvers, they fire pretty quick, do immense damage, and can be dual-wielded. Shotguns can stun you rather longer than other weapons, and do some bad damage, but are slow-firing. Harpoon guns are weak and fast, but don't stun you much at all, and hits aren't very lethal on their own unless it's a headshot.

You always want to take the first shot, because some weapons can stun you a bit. If the enemy starts shooting you with a revolver, you'll barely have a chance to get back up and fight back before the next shot hits. If you have a ranged stun weapon like chloral hydrate in a syringe gun or a stun gun, you will definitely want to use it first. Stunning your enemy is much safer than having a gun fight. Aim for the head. And if you only have slow-working poisons, cuff him or at least disarm him.

Remember, take off a KOd enemy's headset before they get back up, they may call for help and frame you. And hopefully you took note of your enemy's buddies, because sometimes groups will be in a voice chat together or will message each other, and then you'll have a whole group on your ass.

Okay, you managed to take down the threat, what now? Get the ♥♥♥♥ out of there. Make sure there's no sign you were there. If there was any guns firing or if he called for help, people are likely already on their way. Hide fast, and if you're found to be suspicious, tell them something to make you seem more like a victim, such as:

• "He just came in and started shooting for no reason!"
  
• "He tried to overdose me with fentanyl!"
  Or even
  
• "He's just my friend, we're ♥♥♥♥♥♥ around with each other"
  And if he voted to kick you, explain it with
  
• "He's just my friend, we're ♥♥♥♥♥♥ around and he's triggered I killed him first haha"

If these lies worked, you're a grade A sociopath. Good job.

Next, I will give a few more in-depth and complicated scenarios, such as dealing with groups of angry ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, or how to cleanse the sub of all brainlets easily.

How do I k͞il͟l҉ m҉y ć̷͘͢͡r̵̢͢͞e̵͠w̶̕͘m̶̕a̡͘t͘͘͘͜͡ę̷͟͢҉s͏̸̕?
The time has come, you've had enough of these subpar organisms and their blabbering, or you just need to release your fury because you have to watch your family slowly fall apart, it's time we go over all the options, and all the possibilities you may encounter.

Sometimes killing will be easy, but there's always some serious difficulties to overcome. Most subs have an open layout and lots of windowed doors, making a stealth kill difficult. A captain or security guard can also be hard to take down unless you can KO them before they get a chance to react. If the captain sees you try and kill him, he's gonna start gunning you down quick, and a security officer will stun/shoot you and you'll probably be ♥♥♥♥♥♥. I always make sure to overestimate my enemy's capabilities, within logic. You shouldn't anticipate an assistant to have a hold of any dangerous firepower, except in special circumstances. Here's some tips for mass genocide:

• Take advantage of mutinies or other violent scenarios, try not to openly pick a side, but promise a captain or officer your loyalty, try and let them give you weapons, and let loose
  
• A bunch of people in a room is the perfect time to use grenades. Make sure to stand back if you don't want brainlet giblets all over you.
  
• Don't trust anyone, it's possible somebody's figured out you're picking the crew off, be ready for a fight.
  
• Take your time, except if there's a respawn coming. Unless you think you'll get caught red-handed, it's best to take your time and take out crewmembers at the most opportune time.
  
• Make sure the respawn shuttle-goers never get onboard. It's likely they may also try and tell the crew what you've done, so try shooting the shuttle down or just killing everyone quicker.

Sub-Scenario: One of the crew is accusing me of killing people, being a traitor, etc.
You've been doing a good job of slaughtering these peabrains, but one of them is trying to convince the crew that you're no good. You're gonna have to lay low a while, and tread carefully.

Don't try and shut the guy up, unless you're able to stage an accident so well that everyone sees it and is totally convinced. First off, deny, deny, deny. You didn't harm anyone. Make an alibi, and during your mass genocide, make sure to do normal crewmate stuff in front of others so you can use that to convince others you're innocent.

It's possible the accuser may take matters into his own hands. If you got a feeling he's trying to kill you, you have two options:

• Stay around other crewmates and try and give him a chance to make an attempt on your life.
  
• Go somewhere private and get ready for a fight.

If you're confident in persuading others, you can let him come after you somewhere hidden. Follow my combat tips, but don't do anything drastic unless you're absolutely sure he has a weapon on him. Go ahead and kill him quick, maybe let him get a few shots on you if you're sure you'll survive it, then call for help quick. Convince the crew that the lifeless ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on the floor just tried to kill you in cold blood, and you only acted in self-defense. Make sure they check the body and see a weapon, and hopefully they'll be even more convinced of your innocence. Afterward, lay low for a bit longer just to be sure.

You can also wait a while and start rumors that he was the killer all along, but don't be so vocal about it, or else you may just make them distrust you more. If you can get everyone to believe this, the ♥♥♥♥-for-brains may get a false sense of security.

Sub-scenario: Oh god everyone is after me for war crimes
You absolute peabrain you've gotten everyone after you. You're pretty ♥♥♥♥♥♥ unless you can use the environment to your advantage, or if you have a ridiculous amount of firepower.

Try and get to the safest possible area, with only one way in, for example, the Typhon's armory or the top of its engine room. Grenades are a good defense, especially an incendium.

At this point, everyone's pretty much against you, so just open fire on everyone. Try to blow up the reactor, maybe even team up with the traitor. Make sure to loot bodies whenever possible.

If you're totally ♥♥♥♥♥♥ and there's no hope left, but you don't want to be put to shame by a bunch of peanut brain animals who got lucky with opposable thumbs, you can go out the airlock quick, swim to an outpost or just hide outside until the round ends, or just kill yourself and act like you did it because you're roleplaying a crazy homi/suicidal maniac.

This section is for just about any other advice.

WIP.