"Alivieska, April 20th, Juche 85 (1995) -- Kim Jong-un, chairman of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, has visited a ski resort in the Alivieska region of Finland, a country owned by the imperialist Japanese aggressors in order to sell Nokia products.He is meeting with the President of Finland in hopes of releasing Japan's tight grip on the nordic nation. He was also seen shopping in Perajarvi's "Teimo Kauppa", observing the pitiful conditions of the country's grocery stores in comparison to our stores in Korea. While on the ski lift, the leader observed the recent practices of "flying old cars off the ski ramps", a strange tradition to pass time in this Japanese-occupied land."