"#437 +(538)- [X]<lamont-> spanish kids can speak better english than most kids on aol

<lamont-> when they're ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ three years old!
#445 +(1138)- [X]<ck2k> i tap her car's bumper

<ck2k> and she has this estimate

<ck2k> 200 bucks

<ck2k> ♥♥♥♥ you

<ck2k> for 200 bucks i can hire someone to kill your ♥♥♥♥♥ ass
#1980 +(676)- [X]<Thom> ..spam has got funnier since I last checked. It used to be 'GET A 9" ♥♥♥♥ IN DAYS!'. Now I'm getting 'GET HUGE JUICY TITS IN WEEKS!'

<SenorSedo> I'd rather get huge juicy tits than some black guy showin up at my door
#1983 +(294)- [X]<JDigital> Sounds like a really, really kool hentai webcomic.

<Subvillain> Not a webcomic, a paper manga.

<JDigital> Manga + scanner = webcomic. DYS?
#3391 +(759)- [X]<AaronStJ> I'd buy it.  And by buy, I mean warez
#4451 +(78)- [X]<amoeba> mouse gestures = OMG IM TOO LAZY TO PRESS TEH BUTTONS ON TEH KEYBOARD

<@tr0n> HEY IF I MOVE IT IN AN S PATTERN AND THEN A ZIGZAG AND THEN A SQUARE SHAPE IT WILL TAKE ME TO ♥♥♥♥.NET
#4850 +(946)- [X]<TittiesMcEarmuffs> ( . )^_^( . )
#5270 +(537)- [X]<Procyan> is there like 1 person on earth that knows tcl/tk and is writing all of the apps?

<unSlider> procyan: no, there are a bunch of people who dont know tcl/tk but are writing apps for it anyway
#6482 +(967)- [X]<funknut> I like my women like I like my coffee.

<Dokterrock> What, tied up in a sack and thrown over the back of a burro?
#6754 +(542)- [X]<newkid99> Whats everyone reading today

<Wed> The screen
#7219 +(353)- [X]<Sundancer> DE: "The truth is out there" :)

<DarkElf> sunny: yeah, thank god it's out there and not in here with us
#7532 +(156)- [X]<|rein|> Robitussin is like Jello man, there's always room for more
#9222 +(487)- [X]<Al> vasectomy is a foolish barbarism

<Al> it would be completely unnecessary is men weren't so stupid to keep having sex with women

<jre|away> It's not that.  The odd sperm cell can cling to air particles and accidentally get sucked into a passing vagina

<Vodex> like an extraction fan but in reverse

<Al> damn those vaginas, is there no depravity they will not commit
#15482 +(117)- [X]<ZioB> I hate clipping my nails, its hard to pick my nos
#20020 +(176)- [X]<furan> A GNOME WITH NO HOME

<emul8or_> what is an accurate description of me?

<emul8or_> we're playing jeopardy, right?
#25027 +(359)- [X]<[avon]> oh man

<[av0n]> even vc++6 rocks

<[av0n]> after install

<[av0n]> do you want to reboot now?

<[av0n]> no

<[av0n]> the system must be rebooted click ok to reboot

<[av0n]> and i bet you anything when i alt+f4 the box

<[av0n]> i'm gonna reboot

<[av0n]> just watch.

*** Quits: [av0n] ([email protected]) (Connection reset by peer)
#32816 +(769)- [X]<mogismog> I hate people who come onto IRC and whine
#33901 +(172)- [X]<Anim0> my gf would be perfect if she had breasts
#35287 +(-2)- [X]<PeteParker> Microsoft Bob is the default shell for Windows 2000.
#39135 +(211)- [X]<Tassadar2000> Hey! Why did you ban me? I pay my taxes!
#40524 +(362)- [X]*** Mode change "+b *!*@24CBE824.816AE85.502C52D6.IP" for channel #s*p by Spazz

<Spazz> Typo.

<amishjosh> typo? YOU BANNED HIM!

<Spazz> b and v, they're right next to each other
#41147 +(-53)- [X]* unknown__ ([email protected]) has joined #bitchx

<unknown__> i got a prob

<unknown__> the time is 5:28am says bitchx, but the time is really 6:28am says xwindows, why is the bitchx time off?

<Ven0m-> its day light savings

<Ven0m-> ROFL
#42824 +(47)- [X]<stillblue> i was gonna be all "what final fantasy character would you like to have sex with?"

<Blastrax> yes
#46259 +(170)- [X]TaXxXi: Umm...someone in our apartment complex wrote "U Suck ♥♥♥♥" in gold spraypaint on someone's brand new PT Cruiser.

weird_aunt_martha: yeah PT cruisers are THAT ugly

TaXxXi: I feel bad because I kinda laughed.
#48378 +(195)- [X]<Pyke> Kinky???

<Kinky_Amore> Pyke

<Spice> lol

<Pyke> kinky!

<Kinky_Amore> pyke?

<Pyke> kinky?

<Kinky_Amore> oh pyke?

<Pyke> Oh KINKY!

<Kinky_Amore> oh pyke,,, yes

<Pyke> OH GOD KINKY!

<Kinky_Amore> u almost htere

<Pyke> ooooooooooh.....

* Pyke was kicked by rEdSaTiN (thanx for ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥)

* Kinky_Amore was kicked by rEdSaTiN (thanx for ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ too)
#51256 +(169)- [X]<@Toys> i got allways with wings in the mail today

<@Toys> it comes with dry weave, and wings, and optional ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sunroof <@Toys> i tried one on and i didn't feel CONFIDENT

<@Toys> i felt WORRIED as ♥♥♥♥

<@Toys> i'm using them for coffee filters now
#54978 +(236)- [X]<IAmQueenLara> Oh yeah, I remember you... You disappeared one night after I sent you my photo
#58129 +(241)- [X]* Schroe enjoys the benifits of dial-up

<ZRaven> benifits?

<Schroe> In between page loads, I have time to clean various parts of this eternally dirty house.
#59078 +(146)- [X]<Riz> if Ron Jeremy dies I'm gonna put in a request for a "organ" donation
#60291 +(2066)- [X]<Boogieman> and I saw a girl and was like "hey baby, you lookin' for a good time"

<Boogieman> and she said "yes"

<Boogieman> and I just sorta stared

<Boogieman> cause I don't usually get that far

<Boogieman> and I didn't have anything to say
#81058 +(347)- [X]<CoRDWoRK> Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever the hell comes out!"
#81810 +(242)- [X]<Misty> ...but it's sold out. ;.;

<Sue>  ;_;

<Alex> Her eyes are producing commas...

<Alex> Maybe you should get that checked
#107425 +(466)- [X]<NekoGuy> Hey Guys, long time no see, ever since that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ war on terror started, I'm currently building several strategic size nuclear weapons, and wanted you're opinion, I've secured weapons grade plutonium, now I can't decide, gun type or implosive war heads? I'm gonna mount them on #1283-8171-200 Deep Strike Cruise Missiles, so weight is an issue

<NekoGuy> um... wrong channel/server

<NekoGuy> sorry

<Xypher> if that was an attempt to be funny it sucked.

<NekoGuy> No, it was seriously the wrong channel/server

<NekoGuy> ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ idiot.

<Robby> implosive war head

<NekoGuy> Really? Thanks.
#123289 +(265)- [X]<caNcer_b0y> my boy just ♥♥♥♥ in the can for the first time :)

<route> lol congrats

<caNcer_b0y> its a HUGE step for him :)

<route> heh i can imagine

<dr_binks> how old is he?

<caNcer_b0y> 2.5

<dr_binks> see route, if a 2yr old can do it, why cant u?

<route> cause i like my nappy's
#165596 +(372)- [X]<Gothic> I put my PS2 in the microwave, and I ended up in the future
#217478 +(429)- [X]<Zero> in the summer my friend was chipping golf balls

<Zero> one ball went on my other neighbours yard

<Zero> chased him with a pitch fork

<Zero> honest to god

<Zero> a pitch fork
#231527 +(385)- [X]<Chibi-Trekkie> at school, some guy was like

<Chibi-Trekkie> are you going to prom?

<Chibi-Trekkie> and another guy was like PRON!? WHERE
#335086 +(1382)- [X]<aoe2junkie> i wonder what my dog tries to say to me when he barks

<Karath-Din> "stop touching me there"
#484346 +(883)- [X]<GreyMantledWolf> the internet guy is out side trying to shut off the internet to my neighbor's apt

<GreyMantledWolf> and they'res a hornets nest in the box

<GreyMantledWolf> they're stinging him like mad

<GreyMantledWolf> i should stop putting flowers and nectar in that box
#610847 +(2889)- [X]Good Book Report



Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton.

One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool profes"