"#105 +(1041)- [X]<Theseus-> i love funk music so much... that sometimes i wish i was black and then i remember that i might want to get a job some day
#279 +(888)- [X]<gloone> internet, movies and masturbation ruined my life.

<gloone> but it also made it worthwhile
#1380 +(551)- [X][orion] man i had a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up dream last night

[orion] i think my maid was fondeling me

[orion] i was being spooned by this chick when she started to finger my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, and i was like "wtf is this ♥♥♥♥, get that outta me, but i couldn't move"

[orion] so then i finally got all grossed out and woke up

[orion] and my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ felt funny.

(|Chris) you probably fingered your own ass in your sleep

[orion] nah mang, i smelled my fingahs
#2935 +(440)- [X]<Object> booya my roommate, got in a fight last week.. this week, booya was starting a new job .. he gets in and finds out his new boss is the guy he fought last week, we thought it was pretty funny
#4276 +(263)- [X]<R0SC0E> i think [shaolin soccer] was about to be released same weekend as Resident Evil

<R0SC0E> but they pushed it back to not be in competition

<mightyflo> zombie soccer!

<mightyflo> you could put the shaolin soccer guys up against a bunch of zombies

<mightyflo> they could do like bullet kicks and blow their heads off and stuff

<nitrifik_> no, zombies against zombies

<nitrifik_> slowest soccer game ever
#6711 +(332)- [X]* Racked recalls the past: my teacher said, "I have a 10-foot snake here"....to which I replied, "oh no you don't....snakes don't have feet!"

* GPF recalls saying something like that to a teacher and getting detention
#6958 +(18)- [X]<ZXTPKNNOBBBSSCS> rosy palm pilots?
#6983 +(310)- [X]<unlord> you are now talking to a man who owns a piece of furniture for the express purpose of sleeping on it

<Animix> oooooooooooh

<Animix> can I have your autograph
#7276 +(671)- [X]( Fuzzy     ) like flicking through his images dir

( Lev       ) oh i thought you said "licking"

( Lev       ) how peculiar

( Teddy     ) Lev: is there something on your mind?

( Teddy     ) you seem a little pre-occupied...

( Lev       ) wouldn't you lick to find out
#13405 +(491)- [X]<Synikal> i do lawns

<mikeyjone> plz no sexual preferences

<Synikal> i do like 2 every day almost

<mikeyjone> one day you'll answer the door and a small blade of grass will be there saying "daddy?"

<Synikal> lol
#14572 +(199)- [X]<hewbert> goths have been progressivly wearing less clothing as the years have gone by

<hewbert> how shamless!

<hewbert> they should be progressivly wearing more and MORE clothing

<hewbert> until they are bundled up with 200 pound parkas

<Unfy> they would have names like goth_eskimo_69

<hewbert> you could save on facepaint by using snow
#15731 +(548)- [X]<depresso> Compaq FAQ: Where is the ANY Key? (FAQ2859)

<depresso> This is not a key. When you are instructed to press any key, this

  means you can press any of the keys on the keyboard (such as the Enter key,

  the R key, or the space bar).
#15766 +(147)- [X][markel([email protected])]  do you think if you walked down the street wearing a #unixhelp shirt, someone would eventually kick your ass?
#16475 +(1033)- [X]<Logan> I have to say that sex ruined pornography for me. I discovered that women don't scream, "♥♥♥♥ me you big-♥♥♥♥♥♥ cowboy!" when you touch their elbow.
#21993 +(197)- [X](ennui_) heh

(ennui_) some hophead in that channel was relating his opium-induced dreams

(ennui_) Freud would have had a field day

(Ubu) was mom in them?

(ennui_) let's just say I hope his mother has the good sense not to hug him for too long at a time
#29529 +(485)- [X]<Drizuid> what operating system does linux run on?
#34355 +(19)- [X]<jailbait> so my vagina would say

<jailbait> "hello world"
#39706 +(211)- [X]<homerj> womyn butch ♥♥♥♥♥ always bothered me

<homerj> if they hate men so much, why do they go to such great lengths to be exactly like them?

<issuez> the only reason why they bother you is because they get more ♥♥♥♥♥ than you
#42100 +(128)- [X]<namesis> HELLO GUYS SPEAK ME ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ PLEASE AND FAST OR I LEAVE
#43270 +(240)- [X]<Gerudo> i just thought of something

<Gerudo> after eating some fun-size candy, i have a question...

<Gerudo> whats so 'fun' about fun-size candy?

<Gerudo> i mean, if my ♥♥♥♥ was that small, it sure as hell wouldnt be labeled 'fun-size' would it??
#46517 +(325)- [X]<+The_Steel> I scored a 96% on the procrastination test

<+The_Steel> I'm not suprised

<+emul8or_> i put off the procrastination test till tomorrow
#46867 +(516)- [X]<Freaky> y'know what i don't get...

<ButtMcFloyd> laid?
#47902 +(327)- [X]<EvilJoven> the canadian navy has 2 submarines, the biggest mall in canada has 3

<EvilJoven> something is wrong with this country
#49552 +(74)- [X]<GaveUp> i stopped skate boarding when i started dirtbiking

<YenSid> ah yea, you can really injure yourself like that

<GaveUp> hehe i've totalled three bikes but the worst injuries i've ever had were self-inflicted ... go figure ;P

<webby_g> stupidity related injuries are always the best
#51146 +(458)- [X]<hafree> then there's all my friends

<hafree> that for some reason think "jewish" is a nationality

<hafree> yes, i come from jewland
#55594 +(204)- [X]<Jeeeeebus> eg: I was in a doorway with my arm across it resting .. and he walks thru and goes "minimize, please" without even thinking bout it..

<RnRcneHHlt> hahahahahahahahahahaha

<Jeeeeebus> I wish I could do that..
#60398 +(213)- [X]<|ReN|> reality is the 30 frames per second your little mind can comprehend.
#61470 +(691)- [X]<P1E> greetings, IRCMonkey

<IRCMonkey> Hi, I'm just wandering here, irc 1st timer!

<P1E> there's first time for everything I guess

<P1E> =]

<IRCMonkey> :-))

<IRCMonkey> Good bye! See you!

<-- IRCMonkey has quit (Client Quit)

<P1E> wow, that was, er, short

<CharlieG> the first time usually is
#62539 +(274)- [X]<+Wyrd> Trahnse... will you dye your hair down there and send me a picture?

<+Ziphy> :x

<+Trahnse> wyrd, I would do that for you if I had hair down there ;)

<+Ziphy> My dreams just got better ^_^
#78511 +(237)- [X]<torment0r|wk|> !imdb butt pirates

<Vanamonde> Hackers (1995) ( http://www.imdb.com/Title?0113243 )
#84463 +(1325)- [X]<BlackJaX> Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips"
#106919 +(332)- [X]<e> I don't watch tv.

<e> Too many popup ads during movies.
#151210 +(810)- [X]<Mohjo> your puny sacks cannot hold me

<Mohjo> ... that made me sound like an overly large testicle
#162603 +(295)- [X]BOSS: hey

BOSS: you know this one website?

A7X: yeah

A7X: thats a cool site
#235781 +(483)- [X]<amped> f7 then :D

<Pockets> lol

<Pockets> yup

<amped> heh

<Pockets> bye bye cruiser :P

<amped> a3?

<Pockets> miss

<Pockets> i3

<VanJeans> there's something very sad about IRC battleships :/

<Pockets> yeah ur in the middle of it biartch! :D

<amped> miss, a4

<Pockets> sunk :/

<amped> woo!

<VanJeans> ...sad ... very sad
#303011 +(681)- [X]<quik-silver> You know, life really IS like a box of chocolates

<quik-silver> A cheap, meaningless gift that noone ever asks for
#345591 +(213)- [X]<Anla_Shok> hmm, i guess i just prefer a landrover to a marriage

<Anla_Shok> unless the marriage comes with a landrover

<Anla_Shok> then i would have to rethink
#449314 +(1382)- [X]<knobboy> I hate physics

<knobboy> Having to learn all this crap about wave and frequency is killing me

<knobboy> Some might even say it Mhz
#453250 +(1048)- [X]Explosions: why didnt' yo"