"#484 +(1000)- [X]"A lot of people wonder how you know you're in love. Just ask yourself this

one question: "Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?"

   - Ronnie Shakes
#925 +(253)- [X]<lele> hypr is something of a "tragic" funny
#937 +(618)- [X]<QuoteSick> >:)

<QuoteSick> {:-)

<zantispam> :-{

<zantispam> ^^^ moustache

<zantispam> :-{>

<zantispam> ^^^ goatee

<acestus> {:-) ?

<acestus> Toupee?

<DigDug> >8)

<finkployd> :(-<(&)    - not happy having a tapeworm
#2204 +(302)- [X]<DAL9000> you've never called me dustin before

<DAL9000> you sick?

<Guilty> I bet you thought you had a decent name until Saved by the Bell's Dustin Diamond came "screeching" in
#2795 +(1297)- [X](Matt^^^) Ok, walk up to a really hot chick and say "I bet you 20 bucks I can make your tits jiggle without touching them"

(Matt^^^) then grab her tits, give her 20 bucks and walk away
#4380 +(588)- [X]<Spork> A man looked at me like I was a pervert today. I was checking him out at the store and he had his kids at me I noticed one of his young daughters had her zipper down and you could see the print on her panties, so I pointed it out to him. He looked at me weird for a second then zipped her up.

<Spork> Maybe it's because he thought I also noticed that he was half-erect in his pants.

<Spork> Which he was.
#4723 +(56)- [X]<+DCBastard> just a jpg

<@m00cow> what of ?

<+DCBastard> apache ah-64

<@m00cow> i've got an apache

<@m00cow> webserver that is
#4743 +(402)- [X]<Object> well if a girl can speak of how different men taste and how it relates to their physic I'd say she's pretty much a slut
#6058 +(387)- [X]<Guyver3> ive found, that dreaming that you get shot in the chest, twice, by an assassin that looks like Odo, in the back of car, and

feeling your heart slow down to almost nothing, leaves a really acidic taste in your mouth when you wake up

<a_0001> then don't dream that

<Guyver3> i didnt say that i disliked the acidic taste
#7967 +(44)- [X](CitizenC): Hey, here's a question for ya.. what if Jesus was gay?

(CitizenC): You know what? I bet he was.

(CitizenC): Walking around in that desert with his apostles forever?

(CitizenC): They didn't have porn back then, which left only two options:

(CitizenC): * Beat off behind a mountain somewhere to memories of Mary, or

(CitizenC): * Say "Yo!  Deciples!  Suck my ♥♥♥♥!  I'm the son of God!"

(CitizenC): Personally, I think that second one is much more likely.
#8391 +(287)- [X]<Anarchos> my penis is 6.5" long, so my long distance relationship must be no more than 5" away.
#8469 +(199)- [X]<helminthes> that's like one of those dennis miller jokes.. no one gets it, no one cares then everyone forgets about it and an afghan woman dies of heatstroke
#9408 +(24)- [X]<me> reeteth are thou who in the name of reetness and uber, shephards the unreet through the valley of vodness

<me> for he is truly his fggt's brother, and the finder of lost danistanis, and i will strike down upon thee with great hax0rness and furious reetness, those who attempt to get root and pwn my brothers, and you will know my name is hp, when i lay my hax0r skillz upon thee, heh
#11901 +(153)- [X]<MikEE-Boy> ♥♥♥♥. girls in #mp3rave are like gum in elementary school. you

bring some for yourself, you better have one for everybody.
#12698 +(316)- [X](01/21/02) 11:41PM<MrDev-> christ, they should put a nice warning when you log into a solaris box that killall on linux and solaris are entirely different commands
#14827 +(479)- [X](ltb): how many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

(ltb): none, let them cry in the dark.
#14989 +(30)- [X]<MU-Ravage> tuesday night Im going to a funeral home

<MU-Smash> why?
#15493 +(396)- [X]<tak> if i move to canada ill be so rich

<tak> cause your money sucks

<disco-stu> yep

<disco-stu> but at least our country doesnt!

<tak> haha

<Ped> haha

<vivid> haha

<aj> haha

<blakangel> haha
#15663 +(404)- [X]<WintrHawk> you know... 100hz is the resonance freq of a chicken head

<WintrHawk> a power company found that out the hard way
#15763 +(372)- [X]<rixon> I remember calling BBS's on my party line.

<rixon> my neighbors house burned down, and they couldnt call the FD cause we were online.

<rixon> 3 ppl died.

<rixon> that sucked.
#16371 +(318)- [X]*** Quits: SkAtEcHiC (Life is the most precious thing u can loose)

<Stuff> the other day I lost 5 bucks, so I'll have to disagree
#39741 +(21)- [X]<N|O_r0x0rs_my_b0x0rs> then you have to copy the file 'terraincd.dat' and the file blah balh to c: root or whatever

<N|O_r0x0rs_my_b0x0rs> whats that mean

<N|O_r0x0rs_my_b0x0rs> whats the hell is a root
#40378 +(528)- [X]<masttime1> i gotta pee

<masttime1> brb

<masttime1> ♥♥♥♥

<masttime1> IM SO KILLING MY BROTHER

<masttime1> he put saran wrap on the toilet

<masttime1> and i peed all over my foot
#40517 +(192)- [X]<PureCaneSugar> was watching docmentry on TLC late nite.

<PureCaneSugar> roman soldiers did that.

<dan> what??

<PureCaneSugar> took piece of sheepgut. Tied a knot on one end...

<dan> o ya...

<dan> i remember sheepskin condoms

<dan> it's like ♥♥♥♥♥♥ a sheep up the ass and a chick at the same time
#40918 +(156)- [X]* Now talking in #chaoslegion

* Topic is 'UpTime[3 days 4 hrs 42 mins] - on win98, ph33r || [Windows XP Professional (5.1 - 2600)] uptime[1w 3d 6h 4m 31s] (nuff said) | Linux uptime 194d 02:30:57 (0wned)'
#45655 +(838)- [X]<The-Virus> hi

<The-Virus> hello

<The-Virus> oh

<The-Virus> heh

<The-Virus> =\

<The-Virus> thought someone said hi

<The-Virus> besides me
#48155 +(10)- [X]<Hell[b0red|Number11|TV]> It was nice feeling power between teh legzz 

<Sup> that made me hungry
#48398 +(109)- [X]<Ljung> does IRC take scripts?

<Ljung> <SCRIPT language="JavaScript">

<Ljung> damn
#50729 +(23)- [X]<Justn> I cant wait till the summer i'll be working out so much... I'm gonna be ripped!

<Ian_540> maybe working out will give you big muscles, but it won't make your small ♥♥♥♥ any bigger
#56229 +(507)- [X]<Supachikn> redhat is the ms of linux distros

<Supachikn> make everything pretty, dont worry about functionality

<pont> my penis is the slackware of penis

<pont> :D

<pont> Hard and stable

<Supachikn> and fits inside one cd?
#60268 +(-21)- [X]<CactusJac> STEVEL = WELL I FORGOT WHAT HAPPENED BUT I KNOW IT ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ PISSED ME OFF AND THERE WAS SOME GREASEBALL IN THE BACK ROOM WHO LOOKED LIKE THIS JOKER, SO I GUESS MY ADVICE IS TO WATCH YOUR STEP IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU, BECAUSE ALL BETS ARE OFF WHEN YOU LEAVE YOUR ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HOUSE IN THE MORNING, AND YOU FORGET TO BRING YOUR WALLET OR WEAR PANTS, AND THE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ COPS PULL YOU OVER BECAUSE YOUR EYES AREN'T SO GREAT ANYMORE
#75145 +(816)- [X]<comet_11> Dj Sexual Innuendo is 'in' the 'house'
#102979 +(903)- [X]<cwilbur> we have a database table with fifteen million rows in it.

<cwilbur> they brought a manual database change in.

<cwilbur> "please print a table dump before and after you make the change."

<Azhrarn> nothing like hard copy to recover mistakes from!

<cwilbur> there are fifteen million rows in the table.  if you want us to make a dump of the table just in case, that makes sense.  but do you really want a *book*?

<cwilbur> "our policy says that we need a printout."

<confound> hahaha

<cwilbur> oooookay.

<Azhrarn> print out a link to the backup on your intranet :)

<confound> "that's not MY policy."

<cwilbur> no, they want a printout, they'll get a printout.

<pmichaud> what font size?  how many lines per page?

<Azhrarn"