"#825 +(719)- [X]<PunK> she was a fast machine she kept her penis clean she was the best half woman that I ever seen
#1520 +(691)- [X]<studmuffn> one day i will find a way to implant annoying songs in other peoples heads

<studmuffn> it will be my supervillian power
#2234 +(488)- [X]<DTOX> my wife says the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ have already come up with a new name for Osama

<DTOX> "Osama Bin Hidin"

<DTOX> that's really sticking it to him

<refugee> man, that must have took all their brain power

<DTOX> cases upon cases of RC Cola were drank
#2403 +(237)- [X]<goh> i've got this itching inside me that tells me i can beat you

<intra> like a vaginal itching?

<goh> intra: yes

<intra> just get some vagasil
#2705 +(234)- [X](kap) damn im gassy tonight

(kap) too bad eSmell went out of buisness

(kap) i could punish you guys forever
#4349 +(260)- [X]<Sharkey> I've been told I should be a phone sex operator.

<Sharkey> Which gender hasn't been specified.

<Xerox> I've been told I should be a phone sex caller.

<Sharkey> Keep reaching for that rainbow.

<Kashan> he's waiting for your call
#4460 +(1449)- [X]<jre> One time I went into a stupid donut shop to take a pee-pee.  They had a sign that said: PLEASE "FLUSH TOILET" BEFORE LEAVING.  Flush toilet was in parentheses.  So I assumed it was code for something

<jre> So I "pissed in the sink"
#5379 +(491)- [X]<`axion> dammit

<`axion> they ♥♥♥♥♥♥ my hair up

<nakke> well

<nakke> now your hair suits the rest of you
#5465 +(187)- [X]moose> my resume is SOILD, but I can't get clueless head hunters to even ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ return a call

<moose> "do you have a ccna?"

<moose> ♥♥♥♥♥ HAVE YOU READ MY RESUME

<moose> "we need somone who knows PGB in internet lans"

<moose> sigh
#5595 +(212)- [X]<@goose> does any one know a way of checking if some one is online without using msn or any over chat software

<@goose> ?

<+KawaiiUsagi> not unless you know their assigned ip addy

<@goose> nope

<@goose> BT change it every time you log on

<@goose> can you ping the phone number ?
#6142 +(28)- [X]<Quick1> ok, testing my quit message

*** Quick1 ([email protected]) has left #fark
#7392 +(828)- [X]<Dane> i picked ryk up one night when he was completely trashed

<Dane> and he was looking like spewing

<Dane> so i reminded him of my car spew rule

<Tippytoes> which is?

<Dane> "if you hurl you pay me $150 and you have to clean it up"

<KKKBitch> heh

<Dane> and he looked in his pocket

<Dane> and goes

<Dane> "I can cover that"

<Dane> "lets go get curry"
#10859 +(159)- [X]<BigTongue> man, look at this slut on the price is right... bob barker is having a viagra attack
#13489 +(527)- [X]<Chariset> Aie...got to run.  Fencing.

<Chariset> Bye, all

*** Chariset has quit IRC (Quit: Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.)
#15724 +(550)- [X]<marcus> can you make a cisco route packets based on their source address?

<Jon2> marcus: yes.  policy-based routing

<FlashMan> marcus - yes, using policy routing

<RoadRuner> marcus: yes. policy routing

<marcus> anyone else?

<drifter-> marcus: yes. policy routing
#17344 +(361)- [X]<homeslice> <Arbo> I'm making a personal call to tell someone I'll be working through lunch, and I get fired for it.

<kitten> A PERSONAL CALL

<kitten> YOU MONSTER

<kitten> YOU SHOULD BE HANGED

<homeslice> He's going to hell now.

<homeslice> That's like the 14th commandment.

<homeslice> On the tablet that Moses broke.

<kitten> I think the 11th was "Thou Shalt Not Pay A Lot For A Muffler".
#20872 +(517)- [X]<orf> animals are just refridgerators

<orf> they keep the meat fresh till yer ready to eat it
#24892 +(178)- [X]<Kevyn> Teehee, Rey Sanchez has dirt on his uniform. He is a dirty Sanchez.
#26977 +(504)- [X]<jer|SYIOUX> i only care about sex when I'm horny, when I'm not, I be like "omg eww liek no way"

<MiG-S0up> are you gay?

<jer|SYIOUX> no

<MiG-S0up> cuz if u are thats alright man

<jer|SYIOUX> ...

<MiG-S0up> i mean i always supsected something

<jer|SYIOUX> I'm not gay

<MiG-S0up> i support you 100%

<jer|SYIOUX> stop hitting on me

<MiG-S0up> i'll give u a ride to those gay support rallies

<MiG-S0up> i mean if thats ur thing

<MiG-S0up> cuz its ok

<MiG-S0up> i support you 100%

<jer|SYIOUX> i'm not gay but I do think keanu reeves is hot
#27791 +(475)- [X]<Raenne>  Damnit, my cookies are only half baked

<Tungee>  Smoke em up a bit more then

<Futility>  Heh heh heh... half baked.

<Raenne>  I stuck em back in the oven :)

<Tungee>  Mazi

<Tungee>  Nazi

<Raenne>  ...

<Raenne>  They are COOKIES, not PEOPLE

<Raenne>  chocolate chip :)

<Tungee>  The nazi's didn't believe the Jews were people either
#31343 +(1197)- [X]<mrphilez> how many inches is 69mm?

<GLHTurbo> let me measure my penis

<Avram> how would that help? you have a 69mm penis?

<GLHTurbo> yes

<_neil> 69mm = 6.9cm = 2.71"

<GLHTurbo> yes i do

<GLHTurbo> oh wait
#31578 +(1184)- [X]<kng^hem> jävla kattkräken satt å käka på min inplastade baguette ja just köpt..

<kng^hem> dom fick straffsitta på kökslampan ett tag :P

<Robbat> hahah

<kng^hem> faans jävla okynnes feta små as ibland

<orion> ï dønt kñõw Šwëèdïšh
#34474 +(196)- [X]<thnom> AntiVirusIRC v0.2 is now running; please type !virus to test your system

<Morphine> :))

<Morphine> !virus

<Morphine> lol

<thnom> AntiVirusIRC v0.2 is now currently checking Morphine for infected files.

<thnom> wait a bit .........

<thnom>  Morphine; AntiVirusIRC v0.2 has detected a virus, press ALT + F + C; to identify the infected file(s).

<thnom> AntiVirusIRC v0.2 was brought to you by Tw0Y3d-]

<Morphine> ?

[11:06] *** Morphine has quit IRC ((23:33:55) (@mart`db) xp is dodgy)

<thnom> rofl

[11:07] *** Morphine has joined #abjects
#34540 +(-1)- [X]this is from #guitar on DALnet, G/F is a guitar chord for all you who may not know.



<Cosmorpheus> he

<Cosmorpheus> y

<crudelydrawnspiral> well said cosmo

<Cosmorpheus> fingering for a G/F anyone?

<AussieAusbourne> i finger my girlfriend

<washcloth-nj> pull her panties down, thats number

<washcloth-nj> 1

<Cosmorpheus> funny
#39808 +(400)- [X]<Kerf> had an argument with a friend over whether or not l33t stuff would count in scrabble..then i reminded him that there are no numbers in scrabble
#46679 +(219)- [X]<hoedje> how can I see witch hda I can mount?

<ymir> You don't mount witches.

<ymir> Because, I don't think they'll appreciate it.
#46806 +(235)- [X](@|TripleH|) would you let a guy blow you for $1 million ?

(EnronExec) 500 dollars

(EnronExec) you can blow me for 500 dollars
#49481 +(64)- [X]<Minion> I BECAME A NUDIST SO I WOULDNT HAVE TO BROWSE THE INTERNET FOR UNDERAGE PORN!
#52916 +(1880)- [X]<gleep> Heh.  You people don't want to hear how one of my ex-bosses performed a mercy killing on a family's cat at their request.

<Sypher-Ryn> Yes we do

<gleep> I actually think it's quite funny.

<Sypher-Ryn> come on!! Mercy killings!

<me^2> tell us

<DrCloud> o.O;

<ashie> O.O

<gleep> He was visiting a cousin's family, they lived out on in the country.  While he was there, they told them about their cat that was really old, and had gotten quite sick.  The vet had told them they should have it put to sleep.  But they just couldn't do it... they started to drive it the 20 miles to the vet a couple times but never got very far.

<gleep> So when he was talking to their dad, he said he could take care of it.  He had his pistol in his truck.  So that evening he finds the cat and takes it out back of the house.

<gleep> (Don't read this, sen"