"#887 +(344)- [X]<blazemore> don't make me press nine limp inches against your forehead and leave a sweaty red mark from the moist underside

<Nikki> sorry
#901 +(118)- [X]<McMoo> my penis is pretty gay

<McMoo> it can regularly be found in male anuses
#1270 +(270)- [X]*** mark ([email protected]) has quit IRC: -eXtreme- WOMAN.ZIP: Great Shareware, but be careful of viruses...
#4232 +(312)- [X]<ian__> Am I gay?

<qin> yes.

<ian__> ahhhh

<ian__> i knew something wasn't quite right
#4284 +(305)- [X]<toxic> i found out about lesbians in 6th grade

<toxic> :)

<toxic> no actually not lesbians

<CrdStang> hahaha

<toxic> but that they could finger themselves

<spazzer> lol

<toxic> i was like oh ♥♥♥♥! they use pencils too?!

<sy|{0ti|{> i watched a clip of some pron when i was in 5th grade

<sy|{0ti|{> and some chick was pinchin her nipples and shakin em round

<sy|{0ti|{> and i was like "WTF" girls jack off their tittys "

<CrdStang> LOL

<sy|{0ti|{> yeah

<sy|{0ti|{> by the time i was in 5th grade

<sy|{0ti|{> i was a regular jerk a holic

<sy|{0ti|{> by the time i was in 8th grade , i was skippin school to do it

<sy|{0ti|{> hell by the time i was in 10th grade , i quit school to do it fulltime
#5987 +(183)- [X]<Foggie> i wish i could buy shares in hot women

<Foggie> then i could go to ashley judd and be like "you gotta sleep with me since i own 2% of you"
#6987 +(175)- [X]<@vampyr> clearly Trent Reznor is a debian user
#7023 +(216)- [X]<Ac3d> think i should archive my pr0n acording to type (movie,picture,interactive,etc...), alphabetical (a-f,g-m,etc..), size, or genre?
#7802 +(63)- [X]<coma> wank carefully and do not destroy your penis :)

<xetlain> wise words.

<coma> for men with divine penises like us, yes
#7974 +(225)- [X]<Pirificio> Anyone on here with a higher level of Estrogin than Testoterone?

<mogismog> lemme guess, you don't have a girlfriend?
#8473 +(215)- [X]<sisko> I want to crawl up into the place I once was.

<mandi> the end of your dad's ♥♥♥♥?
#8771 +(329)- [X]<bishun> dont get fresh with me

<hydro-> but i'm using the all new summers eve douche

<hydro-> it says i can be fresh whenever i want
#10339 +(260)- [X]<Gorilla> aye. they didnt have any Dogs Bollocks in sainsburys, so i took a customer comment's card, and expressed my disappointment with them not stocking Dog's Bollocks on their shelves.

<Gorilla> tey sent me back a letter saying that they do not stock chinese delicacies. i think they thought i meant the actual testicles.
#10461 +(221)- [X]<melanarchy> I mean I don't want to be too mean

<melanarchy> but there are levels of acceptable IRC stupidity
#11141 +(307)- [X]<mjvh> stupid loose ethernet connection.

<Turbonutter> ducktape

<Turbonutter> ducktape is the answer to all life's problems

<Turbonutter> like beer. except ducktape rarely causes them in the first place.

<zx64> ducktape is merely a physical manifestation of regexps

<Turbonutter> it can do anything but is a pain in the arse to use?
#12924 +(226)- [X]<Merrick> Elizabethian: To be or not to be, that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take up arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them. Ebonics: I be fixin to hang in the hood.
#20446 +(172)- [X]<freedumb> When i was like 8 my dad tried to teach me to count cards in blackjack

<freedumb> for when im 'of legal age'
#21069 +(633)- [X]Joins: StubbornBitch ([email protected])

<Analu> Dude! Every woman I've ever known just entered the chat
#24784 +(100)- [X]<geekster> :O world stumbling day

* geekster needs black van and Mr T to drive it

<geekster> "i pitty the foo who doesn't use encryption on there WLAN"
#26357 +(267)- [X]*** CitizenC changes topic to 'Slippers, all of you <-- But aren't slippers comfy? <=- no <-- You must have beta slippers then.'

(@d-_-b): CitizenC: yeah, Slippers v0.05b is full of bugs

(@CitizenC): Stupid beta slippers. When is the sole not going to have these huge holes in them?

(@CitizenC): I reported that bug when I first got this build.

(@frOsty-): CitizenC: i just got Slippers v0.07a, cvs from last night.

(@frOsty-): CitizenC: they're ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hot man, seriously.

(@frOsty-): CitizenC: new silk insole, fluffy toes.

(@d-_-b): frOsty-: did they fix the backdoor?

(@frOsty-): CitizenC: and i don't fall down on the hardwood anymore. Crash constantly on the concrete, unfortunatly.

(@frOsty-): d-_-b: yeah, it's all fixed. they have a velcro flap now.

(@frOsty-): d-_-b: but it's only the hook side right now, not the soft side.

(@frOsty-): d-_-b: so i had to hand-compile some tape for it.
#27438 +(203)- [X]<synjaWrk> did you know co.ck is a real top level domain

<synjaWrk> $300/year

<synjaWrk> daamn

<sno_uk> synja: haha : so you can you and buy abig.co.ck ?

<synjaWrk> sno_uk i dont need to buy one

<synjaWrk> :)
#30196 +(142)- [X]<sam> people seem to fear toilet seats like the damned plague these days

<Ishap> They're staging rebellions

<MEEKS> If you had to put up with all that ass, wouldn't you?
#35030 +(604)- [X]<Incubus> wanking in the shower has a drawback, now the rain makes me horny
#35923 +(44)- [X]<CzarKhan> well I have like 20 pillows and two teddy-bears but it's really like alone
#37090 +(25)- [X][^Neon^]: what windows are u running?

[AtomicFox]: now? just MiRc

[^Neon^]: windows

[^Neon^]: windows 95 98 me 2000 xp ?
#43780 +(381)- [X]<@Beannie|A> my girlfriend's horny :) and im 'helping' her with it hehehe

<@Beannie|A> 'sok, im horny too

<@Beannie|A> and shes helping me

<mnkymajik> and ur on mirc?
#49295 +(316)- [X]<Japhro> I like my coffee like I like my women: $2.50
#50804 +(250)- [X]<SteamedHams> heroin should be more widespread. it's like an off button for morons
#51627 +(177)- [X]<DracoDanMP> i spent all day reading on www.bash.org

<@MalHavoc> and that is why you fail.

<DracoDanMP> then i realized that only a true geek would even get 99% of the jokes, much less think they were funny

<@MalHavoc> I bet you laughed your ass off all ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ day :P
#53593 +(-13)- [X]<Margret> Oh, Henry! Would you like your afternoon TIT?

<Henry> Yes dear, please, do the BLOWJOB

<Margret> One SUCK or two?

<Henry> I am afraid I must watch my SEXUAL HABITS, one ASSGRIND for me please, sweety

<Margret> Gladly dear, could you kindly SUCK ON MY biscotti?

<Henry> where is it ♥♥♥♥♥?

<Margret> your HUMUNGOUS ♥♥♥♥ has LEAKED SWEET MAN JUICE ON IT

<Henry> Oh, thank you dear, haha! Clumsy of my not to look under your LONG ASS PUBES

<Margret> *sip*

<Henry> *Sip* I do declare darling, what type of CLIT is this? Its very juicy

<Margret> Its essence of WET HOT ♥♥♥♥♥ JUICE, d'you like it?
#58507 +(405)- [X]<LeX|NgToN> i got a blister on the inside of my hand =/

<Vagabonde> haha, from wacking off?

<LeX|NgToN> Y DOES EVERYONE ASSUME THAT?!
#74684 +(217)- [X]<SlasherX> #php is all communist based

* @Didgerama drives a tank down the middle of #php

<Ballig> Didgerama: You're a commie, you can't afford a tank

<Ballig> You can ride a bicycle with a dart gun, though
#78941 +(786)- [X]<mirv> I sincerely hope this France -> Freedom thing doesn't go on for long.

<Palpz> And in the news today, the United States Congress passed legislation renaming the Country of France to "Freedom".

<DyRE> i'm so glad the people running my country are actually 12-years old. i'm sure it won't be long now before some noted US politician calls Iraq "gay."
#79905 +(461)- [X]<VC-Scar> an"