"#1133 +(555)- [X]<homerj> a robot on Futurama

<homerj> "You know why they are using WIndows 3000 as a prison guard?"

<homerj> because it always locks up
#2371 +(102)- [X]<phear:#916> yeah, california received a giant lube job from energy producers this year
#2586 +(79)- [X]<wild-> u want to know a good jacking method?

<wild-> get a baggie

<wild-> dump some lube in it

<wild-> then stick yer ♥♥♥♥ in it

<wild-> and throw everything between the boxspring and matress

<wild-> then go to town

<BlackDeth> you're a masturbating champion

<wild-> BlackDeth: i wish i could claim i invented it :( but i stole it from www.jackinworld.com
#3358 +(163)- [X]<tril0gy> i think with my gov't tax return i'm gunna buy a redmav

<spicrx7> you're better off getting a shirt that says "I suck ♥♥♥♥."

<ChronosGW> Then you and DMC can be mav-buddies

<spicrx7> same effect as having a red mav

<spicrx7> except the tshirt would be worth more
#4954 +(1313)- [X]<`rip> when you go into a job interview

<`rip> and they ask you what 3 of your weaknesses' are

<`rip> what do you say

<clay> you tell them that youre indecisive

<clay> and then stop talking
#5034 +(933)- [X]<Lith> im tellin ya.. im sitting on a land mine

<Lith> err

<Lith> gold mine
#6531 +(1076)- [X]<Grumman> I got windows 200pro today.

<♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥> windows 200? did marcus aurelius use that?
#7229 +(537)- [X]asjk] !list

[asjk] anyone know a good open ftp?

[ck1] 127.0.0.1

[asjk] need a userid/pw

[ck1]anonymous

[bluerose] oh come on give him the good account

[ck1] :)

[bluerose] l: hax0r

[bluerose] p: 31337

[asjk] thx
#8067 +(309)- [X]<Embercide> i was doing 3 things at once, went to take the smoke out and it must have stuck to my lip and flipped up

<Embercide> i must have just closed my eye in time cause the eye itself isnt damaged

<Avatar> who'd've thought a cigarette could be so dangerous?

<Scourge> Not only do they cause numerous cancers and other lung problems but they can also burn your eyes.
#15610 +(246)- [X]<r00> man making photoshop swap out on a 512MB system is like hitting cervix with a 2" penis

<r00> forget i said that
#16188 +(283)- [X]<wof> does anyone really use emacs?

<Pills> my wife used to

<wof> really?

<wof> what'd she do?

<Pills> she... edited files? :)
#16274 +(387)- [X]<Calrathan> its amazinz;].jhv0z;].jhv0z;].jhv0z;].jhv how a little liquid in the keyboard can screw it up so much
#16713 +(22)- [X]<Valenthios> When we RPed that little convo with her and Gygus, I said "She seems to be quite beautiful, even though she's human."  He says "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥."

<Gygus> Heeheeheeheee.....
#16906 +(243)- [X]<@Afterglow> .  I also have a familiarity with local area networks, including DHCP, DNS, penis, and Microsoft networking file shares.
#20047 +(452)- [X]* mitd apologizes to japh for mix-up but is sure that japh[^y] has also done many clever things.

<jc> japh did "hello, world" once.  It was pretty awesome.

<japh> No one does "hello world" like I do.

<vroom> I've never seen a more beautiful 1603457 lines of code.
#32223 +(185)- [X]<daggorath> What are the good Hindu channels on Efnet?

<fdog> I am not to be knowing what the good hindu channels are to being
#33675 +(346)- [X]* Tony has joined #hate

* Joe_ sets mode: +b *!*[email protected]

* Tony was kicked by Joe_ (Joe_)

* Tony has joined #hate

<Joe_> Hello, Tony. How are you today?

<Joe_> Tony? WHERE ARE YOU TONY?

* Tony was kicked by Joe_ (OH NO HE IS DEAD)

* Joe_ has quit IRC (Local kill by Tony (I only like nice people to use my server.  Find another one.))
#36754 +(458)- [X]<BenZor> www.clitical.com

<w|zzy> better not be prono

<BenZor> helpful.

<BenZor> nah

<BenZor> sex lesson site

<w|zzy> ok

<w|zzy> don;t need them

<BenZor> yes u do u ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ virgin

<w|zzy> I have 2 sisters man
#42118 +(431)- [X]<ThaiLand> what time is it ?

<@nimper> tool time

<ThaiLand> thx
#42391 +(201)- [X]<@Phillip> so

<@Phillip> ive come up with a rough formula to calculate the chance that a chick at a bar will want to screw me

<@Phillip> C=[(p/t)/100]+100(D)

<@Phillip> C is the percentage chance that she will want to

<@Phillip> p is pi

<@Phillip> t is the amount of time in seconds that i talk

<@Phillip> and D is how drunk she is
#42663 +(74)- [X]<@JE> Hosting: $5 per month. Domain name: $15, your site being down twice a week: Priceless.
#45596 +(746)- [X]<Uncle_Tobias> I hate people who AIM me when I'm masturbating.

<Kevyn> I hate people who AIM at me while masturbating.
#46744 +(514)- [X]<_Tenchi_> i also start feeling old when i see all these new fangled colors in

           M&Ms and Lucky Charms

<Vulpyne> Didn't they only used to be like brown and yellow?

<_Tenchi_> yeah

<_Tenchi_> these days i cant tellw hether im eating M&Ms or skittles

<rs> tenchi:  mix 'em together and you've got S&Ms
#51627 +(177)- [X]<DracoDanMP> i spent all day reading on www.bash.org

<@MalHavoc> and that is why you fail.

<DracoDanMP> then i realized that only a true geek would even get 99% of the jokes, much less think they were funny

<@MalHavoc> I bet you laughed your ass off all ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ day :P
#53020 +(127)- [X]<Hot_Guy> Fentom: you're a girl?

<Fentom> -{Hot_Guy}- depends how desperate you are and how much money you will pay for me to come down there
#55564 +(205)- [X](During another round of mega splits on DALnet)

<Guest51394> how do u get into the servers?

<priz> you can't.

<priz> if you walked into a McDonalds when the kitchen was on fire, do you think they'd take your order?
#56876 +(252)- [X]<TittySmasher> Do you think if you were having sex with a chick, and had a condom on and lightning struck you, the condom would melt and the chick would ♥♥♥♥/piss melted plastic?

<rTenshi> uhh, you'd die man.

<TittySmasher> ... oh
#57631 +(75)- [X]< dai> my knowledge of c/c++ is comparable to my knowledge of women

< Weeble> dai: got a null pointer huh?

< pairo> You can always read books about C.

< shiwan> dai: that doesn't say very much. :P

< dai> shiwan: you're a cruel one
#62245 +(-8)- [X]<stream> i did dxm for the first time

<stream> and i took a ♥♥♥♥

<stream> then threw up in it

<stream> and ♥♥♥♥ splashed all over my face

<stream> hahah
#62388 +(248)- [X]<Marticus> i am perusing wil wheatons web log

<toe2toe> What is "being ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bored and running out of things to do on the internet"

<toe2toe> oh sorry...  i thought this was jeopardy there for a second
#71989 +(193)- [X]<REIDZY> why the ♥♥♥♥ is everyone tryign to tlak all ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ smart
#73166 +(12)- [X]<+TheVirus> you know you hit an all time low when you take a ♥♥♥♥, and dont realize the after affects until you look at your mouse =\
#78912 +(173)- [X]<leokitty> ok who wants to come over and help me find all the underwear that i've scattered around my room? i need to get it all into the laundry bag.

<DrTrevorkian> todd, you start searching.  i'll make the ebay seller account.
#81905 +(614)- [X]<Allio> lol... when i woke up my arm was completely numb, cos i'd been sleeping on it... i tried to move it and punched myself in the nose... it bled for almost 30 minutes
#84440 +(405)- [X]*** Joins: azninvazn

[mcgruff] [mp3] abba - dancing queen @ 192 kbps

[owner] now playing: geri halliwell - it's rainin' men.mp3

[owner] you  just got one-upped gruff

[azninvazn] i don't know how i mistyped '#513' as '#mp3sforqueers', but i'm getting the ♥♥♥♥ out of here

*** Parts: azninvazn

[mcgruff] ^5
#97911 +(219)- [X]:::: Now in #bearcave

* martraci slo"