"#1133 +(555)- [X]<homerj> a robot on Futurama

<homerj> "You know why they are using WIndows 3000 as a prison guard?"

<homerj> because it always locks up
#1341 +(303)- [X]<SPD-DMN> i wanna get a 6.5L turbo-diesel and like.. put it into a honda accord

<SPD-DMN> or is that.. put a honda accord into a 6.5L turbo-diesel?
#3563 +(574)- [X]<Slant> Maybe I'll be able to ignore my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ NEED TO HUMP ANYTHING HUMAN AND FEMALE

<Slant> ANYTHING

<Zor-SLEEP> i feel for your sisters.
#4716 +(252)- [X]<Chalma> how do I talk with everyone else?
#6363 +(44)- [X]<JelloMan> jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world...

<JelloMan> white and white, white and white, they are precious in his sight.
#7420 +(285)- [X]<firebrand> damn, i cannot spell today

<A|exander> you just did.

<firebrand> ♥♥♥♥ you ;)
#7428 +(438)- [X]<Phuser> my fan club has a member

<Phuser> my member has a fan club
#8705 +(269)- [X]<Jon-> doing some C coding ;)

<Anselmo> pfft

<Anselmo> Learn a real language

<Anselmo> Like Amiga Basic
#10101 +(-20)- [X]*** [ED]znapz` ([email protected]) has joined #dead-presidents

<[ED]znapz`> but..

<[ED]znapz`> I want @

<[ED]znapz`> suck ♥♥♥♥

*** [ED]znapz` ([email protected]) has left #dead-presidents
#10434 +(151)- [X]<bizzy> great, i get TWO doomed projects

<bizzy> "hey, we canned the guy doing this stuff too. Can you start work

on re-inventing the wheel asap?"
#10925 +(408)- [X]<meiscoole:#pc> my ethernet card isn't lighting up and displaying physical

    connection.  Any one have any idea why?

<munky:#pc> broke ethernet cable

<meiscoole:#pc> what is an ethernet cable?
#11014 +(235)- [X]<PreZ> u'd think I'd dream about britney spears, or christina ricci, or something

<PreZ> but nooooo

<PreZ> I dream I'm on IRC in #aussies

<PreZ> *sigh*

<goombah> wake up prez.. your having a hard disk crash
#18255 +(215)- [X]<LynxCrR>You'd think if something were trivial you wouldn't fail at it.

<UprightMan>Says Who?

<UprightMan>You can make something 2000 times

<UprightMan>and still mess up

<UprightMan>Like, Ive peed a few hundred trillion times, but I still sometimes miss the toilet!
#29939 +(30)- [X]dodee: I look british.

dodee: I think it's the haircut.

[jhk]: it's probably the teeth
#31324 +(362)- [X]<Dopefish> there is sometimes a denial stage in drinking

<Agg> no there isn't!
#32532 +(125)- [X]<[SA]Gaijinchi> I was ripped as a kid.  When my friends wanted to go somewhere on bikes, I ran and kept up

<[SA]Gaijinchi> Then I turned 16 and promptly got out of shape

<ricequeen> Yeah, masturbation got me too

<[SA]Gaijinchi> You can masturbate and drive at the same time?

<[SA]Gaijinchi> That's incredible.

<ricequeen> It's an okay substitute for road head

<[SA]Gaijinchi> that's all kinds of dangerous.  I mean, what if you hit a bump or something?

<hoe4damoney> Just get a crash test dummy to fellate you

<hoe4damoney> its safer

<ricequeen> I call it, "Living on the edge"
#36157 +(174)- [X]<Al> people are often friendly until they learn what an irretrievable ♥♥♥♥-pit the world is and what a sick, worthless collection of misshapen animals comprises the human species

<DogWelder> I like to think of it as boot camp, then hell.
#37553 +(334)- [X]<Sorted^> half-life?

<Sorted^> is that like simcity?

<Halo--> I think so, but you shoot people.
#38925 +(207)- [X]<LunchBox> why is my usb-to-usb networking not working :(

<q[torg]> LunchBox: it's netnotworking
#39277 +(167)- [X]<Blackmail> I didn't learn to masturbate until I was 17... up until then I always thought 'masturbation' was a type of pasta dish they served in fancy restaurants
#40187 +(451)- [X]<Error_404> i swear to god... the next time my mom approaches me about my drinking, i'm gonna ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ come out of the closet...
#41756 +(138)- [X]<citrus-> hehe, some guy called me a few weeks ago, asking if I would like more TV channels to watch. (Obviously selling some cable stuff) so I said 'Yes I would' and hung up
#43313 +(146)- [X]<shapr> how do I correctly display two byte fonts?

<liiwi> you take the first byte and display it

<liiwi> then you take the other byte and display it
#43595 +(319)- [X]<CyberBotX> did you know, Alt+Z makes your text go backwards.

<CyberBotX> .ereh ti did i ?ees

*** Kuraj[Away] ([email protected]) has left #bobandgeorge

*** Megami ([email protected]) has left #bobandgeorge

<Lady_Vahn|Balloon_Fight> !seod ti, looc yeh
#49151 +(628)- [X]<TrueBlue> Little Timmy was a chemist, Little Timmy is no more, 'cause what Little Timmy thought was H20, was really H2S04.
#50255 +(81)- [X]<Yin-Tzu> you see, MSminion is really God, and he's just here to slum with the mere mortals

<IICV> God works for MS?

<IICV> That's a revelation in itself.
#53719 +(480)- [X]* Faetan is gonna kill Santa for this...

* Santa_Clause is now known as Steve

<Steve> >_>

<Steve> <_<
#55591 +(273)- [X][+Sirex]: ...busy moving from gentoo to debian :)

[Si|verwire]: gentoo, debian? eh? where do u live then
#56828 +(230)- [X]<Jarp> No porn break. i actually have no more porn on this computer

<Jarp> just the other day, i moved all 8,000ish pictures to the other computer and organized 'em

<Sisgmund> lordy!

<Sisgmund> how much space does that take up?

<Jarp> about 600mb

<Sisgmund> crimminy

<Jarp> i forget exactly how many

<shavenwookiee> wow

<Jarp> Hrm. I don't have a very broad colllection. that 8,000 is of maybe 20 girls.

<Jarp> don't have any particular favorite.

<shavenwookiee> 20 girls.. 400 poses each??

<Jarp> hrm

<Jarp> more of some

<Jarp> less of others

<shavenwookiee> so THAT's how you get your porn movies on dialup.

<screevo> ???

<shavenwookiee> you print up a set of one girl, staple them together, and flip the pages :D

<Jarp> it's like a movie, one frame at a time!
#76288 +(491)- [X]<Nuclear> I can imagine watching TV while giving you head, but during sex???

<Nitronium> How can she watch TV while giving you head?

<MegaDeth> He must be a tellytubby...
#77196 +(500)- [X]<MooseWare> Anyone in here know a good IRC server to find people who are intersted in making game?

<MooseWare> games*

<Raggedy-Asmo> #redundant-questions

<MooseWare> that chat is empty

<CrazYGuyMrkII> lol

<Valeria> rofl

<Raggedy-Asmo> lol Val

<MooseWare> im serious, its empty

<Valeria> ;)

<MooseWare> except for me, of course

<Raggedy-Asmo> hey, let's send that one to bash

<CrazYGuyMrkII> rofl

<Valeria> already there

<CrazYGuyMrkII> thats like that other one

<CrazYGuyMrkII> join #someonewhocares

<CrazYGuyMrkII> im the only one there

<Raggedy-Asmo> lol

<MooseWare> that room is empty too

<CrazYGuyMrkII> lol

<MooseWare> grr
#77549 +(2221)- [X]* unexpected joins the room!

<unexpected> oh ♥♥♥♥ gotta go

* unexpected left the game.

<Chimerasame> well that was unexpected.
#81320 +(368)- [X]MultiColoredWiz: My grammar's usually pretty good, but I still don't get laid or lain.

MultiColoredWiz: err..

Gizmog1: Heheh.
#87577 +(142)- [X]<shok> what is the average life expectancy of a Saddam look alike ?
#103459 +(227)- [X]### Psyber converts paige's vibrator from .5 milliamps to 200 amps

### Paige is gone (07:19PM): brb.. *bzzzz*
#119918 +(182)- [X]<Caspian777> Once I get my picture on the net, you'll see. :P

<Suvorov> ooh can i have your picture?

<Suvorov> no baby ones though - i can't masturbate to those
#164446 +(367)- [X]<organicintelligencebody> they probably have practice at it

<organicintelligencebody> like those telemarket"