FIRST AND FOREMOST - That fake digganob calling himself Thrakka, who kept re-posting my guide as his own got his karma in the end! Cya later gitface


Since starting this guide, I've realised that our collective hive mind is pretty formidable. As a result I plan to keep this as an ongoing project, perhaps a work in progress if you will, with the aim being to make this the "Go To" reference to be sure you're sounding really Orky.

I appreciate any responses, likes or favourites I may receive. For the record, that is regardless of whether you found this guide through Steam, the official Eternal Crusade forums, or through one of the numerous Facebook groups / Sub-Reddits / YouTube channels I've pimped this guide out on.

With any luck, you may even consider following this guide if you are interested in receiving further updates based the number of amendments or additions I foresee happening over it's lifetime.

Speaking of which, if you would like to know more about Orks and Ork society, check out this amazing guide all about The Orks presented by The Templin Institute. By the sounds of the intro they have read this guide!

Another amazing source of Orky goodness and lore is from GimGam Glitzdakka's YouTube channel.

Should you happen to submit any information you think should be added, if it's eventually included then I will make sure to credit you or your chosen community in the "Contributions, Credits & Thanks" section that has been added to the end (I chose to do it this way so I can still credit people who aren't on my Steam friends list or those who do not wish to be publicly identified).

OK! With all that gumph well and truly out the way, buckle up, settle down, and get ready for some hardcore Orky education...

The most important thing to remember here (and this will be harder to grasp for non-Brits, or even worse still if English is not your native language), is that Orks were specifically based on British football (soccer) hooligans, in both language, often brain capacity and in some extreme cases, maybe even body shape. This verbally defines the unusual pronounciation and broken sentence structuring you have come to expect from an Ork. Simultaneously, the written form of these words are therefore also directly affected by these differences. As a result, words will most likely be spelled phonetically (fonetiklee) based on these guttural changes. Visually words may become harder to recognise or decipher to non-native speakers.

The next thing to clear up is that there are no hard and fast rules which will apply to each and every situation. With the English language being the way it is, there are going to be many situtations where words which sound the same or are at least spelled similarly will be handled completely differently. Sometimes this can be based purely on something as simple as context and as a result, some words you might want to make sound more Orky can and will fall into two or more categories simultaneously. This is likely to make them behave strangley or unexpectedly because multiple rules may end up contradicting or overwriting each other.

What all this means is that a lot of this guide may actually be open to interpretation or debate, but sometimes all it really takes is just a bit of common sense to figure out whether something sounds stupid when you read it out loud. Unfortunately for you, this is when your common sense is required to figure out what actually sounds right, and no hand holding can be provided. But hey, that's fine, you're a big tough Ork, right?

If your edited words sound Orky when read aloud then it is probably passable or acceptable, verbally at least, and that may be all that is required if you are purely dealing with voice comms.

For the written format there will always be conflicts and disagreements, but like I say, there are no set rules for this anywhere, so nobody is ever going to be "explicitly correct", despite what they may claim to the contrary.

In all truth, what we're dealing with here is essentially a "made up" or "dumbed down" version of the English language, almost a pidgen version of it, so we only have our original version to use as the basic guideline we can work from. (Sorry to say, but UK English probably works better here than US English just because Games Workshop are British and that will have been the base template they used themselves. Furthermore, the football (soccer) hooligan thing the Orkz are based on is definitely a European and not American phenomenon).

From here on in, I'll attempt to provide some simple guidelines you can follow which should hopefully help you to sound more Orky.

OK, so, if I haven't scared you off or bored you to death already, shall we begin...?

Let’s start with something simple:

• "I am" / "I'm” becomes “I iz" / "I'ze"”
  
• "We are" / "We're" becomes "We iz" / "We'ze"
  
• "You are" / "You're" becomes ""You iz" / "You'ze"
  
• “They are" / "They're" becomes "Dey iz" / "Dey're" or "Dey'ze" (more on this later)
  
• "Don't" / “Didn’t” / “Doesn’t” becomes “Dunt”
  
• “Isn’t” / "Hasn't" / "Hadn't" becomes “Ent”
  
• "Wont do" becomes "'Ent doin'"
  
• “Wasn’t” / "Weren't" becomes "Wunt” / "Wernt"

• "I'ze got da bestest plan!"
  
• "We'ze 'ere ta fix yer gubbinz!"
  
• "You'ze gonna get a proppa krumpin' once da Boss getz bakk"
  
• "Dey'ze gonna regret runnin' into da URTY boyz!"
  
• "You really fink dis planz gonna werk? Dat useless grot ova dere dunt know wot end of 'iz choppa iz fer choppin'"
  
• "Dis shoota iz rubbish! 'Ent got enuff dakka!"
  
• "I 'ent doin' that! Da Boss wud bash our 'eadz in if 'ee found out!"
  
• "It Wunt my falt Boss! Dem useless gitz in da trukk wernt even awake, da lazy grotz!"

And so on...

Most words that end with "OULD" can be cut down to just "UD"

• "Should" becomes "Shud"
  
• "Would" becomes "Wud"
  
• "Could" become "Cud"

And so on...

The antonyms of these would be:

• "Shouldn't" becomes "Shudn't"
  
• "Wouldn't" becomes "Wudn't"
  
• "Couldn't" become "Cudn't"

And so on...

Words ending with "ER" can usually be swapped out with either an "A" or an "AH".

• "Shooter" becomes "Shoota"
  
• "Trigger" becomes "Trigga"
  
• "Bigger" becomes "Bigga"

And so on...

If the word starts with an "H", replace the "H" with an apostrophe and start with the next letter in the word.

• "Hit" becomes "'It"
  
• "Heavy" becomes "'Eavy"
  
• "Hard" becomes "'Ard"
  
• "Hello" becomes "'Ello"
  
• "Hands" becomes "'Ands"
  
• "Head" becomes "'Ead"
  
• "Hungry" becomes "'Ungry"
  
• "Hurt" becomes "'Urt"

And so on...

If the word is specifically "The", "Their", "They're", "Them", "Those", "They", "That" or "This" then replace the "TH" at the start with a "D".

• "The" becomes "De" or "Da"
  
• "Their" becomes "Dere"
  
• "They're" becomes "Dey're" or "Dey'ze"
  
• "Them" becomes "Dem"
  
• "Those" becomes "Dose"
  
• "They" becomes "Dey"
  
• "This" becomes "Dis"
  
• "That" becomes "Dat"

To partially reiterate some of the other guideline sections, words which are pronouns or poessessive pronouns (bear with me here, it'll make sense in a moment), are handled differently:

• "His" becomes "'Iz"
  
• "Her" or "Hers" becomes "''Er" or "'Erz"
  
• "Theirs" becomes "Derez"
  
• "Ours" becomes "Arrz"
  
• "Yours" becomes "Yourz" or "Yorz"
  
• "Your" becomes "Yer" or "Ya"

For pretty much all other words that begin with a "TH" sound, the "TH" can be replaced with an "F".

• "Thinking" becomes "Finking"
  
• "Thought" becomes "Fought" or "Fort"
  
• "Three" becomes "Free"
  
• "Thanks" becomes "Fanks"
  
• "Thunder" becomes "Funda"

And so on...

This leads on to words that have the "TH" sound in the middle of the word. In these cases the "TH" sounds tends to be replaced with either a single or double "V" sound, and probably ends with an "A".

• "Other" becomes "Ovva"
  
• "Father" becomes "Farva"
  
• "Mother" becomes "Muvva"
  
• "Brother" becomes "Bruvva"
  
• "Bother" becomes "Bovva"
  
• "Feather" becomes "Fevva"

And so on...

NB: Exceptions to the above rule are the following words where we use single or double "F" instead of "V":

• "Something" becomes "Sumfing"
  
• "Nothing" becomes "Nuffing"
  
• "Everything" becomes "Everyfing"
  
• "Worthless" becomes "Wurfless"

Continuing this theme, if the word ends with a "TH" sound, this can also be substituted for a single or double "F"

• "Death" becomes "Deff"
  
• "Earth" becomes "Erf"
  
• "Health" becomes "'Elff" (Notice the missing "H" from "Health", Substituted a double "F" at the end to avoid confusion with actual elves. Stinkin' Elves)
  
• "Breath" becomes "Breff"
  
• "Wealth" becomes "Welf"
  
• "Worth" becomes "Wurf"

And so on...

NB: Exceptions to the above rule are the following words:

• "Both" becomes "Boaf"
  
• "With" becomes "Wiv"

For words with "CK" either in the middle, or at the end, these can usually be replaced with a good double "K".

• "Truck" becomes "Trukk"
  
• "Block" becomes "Blokk"
  
• "Tricked" becomes "Trikked"

And so on...

If the word is either plural and / or ends with an "S", it's usually (but unfortunately not in 100% of cases, typically) safe to swap that "S" for a "Z".

• "Is" becomes "Iz"
  
• "It's" becomes "Itz"
  
• "Boys" becomes "Boyz"
  
• "Gits" becomes "Gitz"
  
• "Guns" becomes "Gunz"
  
• "Wins" becomes "Winz"

And so on...

NB: This does not work for words that end with a double "S". Leave the "SS" intact at the end of the word

• "Boss" would sound stupid (and mildy racist) as "Bozz"
  
• "Pass" would sound stupid as "Pazz"
  
• "Loss" would sound stupid as "Lozz"
  
• "Miss" would sound stupid as "Mizz"

And so on, so use your common sense here

If a word either starts or ends with a "C" that actually makes a "K" sound, you can usually swap it out for an actual "K".

• "Toxic" becomes "Toxik"
  
• "Cosmic" becomes "Kosmik"
  
• "Custom" becomes "Kustom"

And so on...

If the word is a verb (a doing word) and ends with "ing", then simply drop the "G" and add an apostrophe. The following examples are what Orkz do best.

• "Fighting" becomes "Fightin'"
  
• "Chopping" becomes "Choppin'"
  
• "Shooting" becomes "Shootin'"
  
• "Stomping" becomes "Stompin'"
  
• "Looting" becomes "Lootin'"
  
• "Winning" becomes "Winnin'"

And so on...

There aren't many words that an Ork would use that end with "OUGH", but these 3 are fairly common and are handled differently:

• "Enough" becomes "Enuff"
  
• "Tough" becomes "Tuff"

but...

• "Through" becomes "Froo" or "Fru"

There are a handful of words which begin with "WH" but after considering it carefully, they pretty much all behave differntly and fall into rules of other categories.

• "What" becomes "Wot"
  
• "Who" becomes "'Oo"
  
• "Who's" and "Whose" becomes "'Oo'z"
  
• "Whom" becomes....who am I kidding? Can you imagine an Ork saying "Whom?"
  
• "When" either doesn't need to change, or becomes "Wen"
  
• "Which" either doesn't need to change, or becomes "Wich"
  
• "Whether" and "Weather" becomes "Wevva"
  
• "Why" doesn't seem to need changing
  
• "White" either doesn't need to change, or becomes "Wite"

Keep the above guidelines in mind when trying to talk or type and you'll already be well on your way to sounding proppa orky. Want to add authenticity? Try dropping in more orky words, especially the made up ones used to replace basic English words. I've listed some of the most common words / phrases below:

(Turns out I've now added so many Orky phrases I had to split it into more than one section!)

• 'Air squig: A "hair squig" sometimes worn on the head by Orkz ("Da Boss'z 'air squig iz well flashy")
  
• 'Ard: Tough or strong. Can describe an Ork, or armour ("Da Warboss iz ded 'ard")
  
• Attenchun: The Orky spelling of "Attention" ("'Az I got yer attenchun")
  
• Bash: A fight ("Lookz like we'ze 'avin' a bash boyz!")
  
• Beaky / Beakiez: A term for Space Marines based on the Mk. VI Corvus style helmet ("Boss! Dere'z sum beakiez dat needz stompin'")
  
• Bestest: Better than the best ("Dis plan is da bestest")
  
• Bin: The Orky spelling of "Been" ("It'z bin ages since we last 'ad a rukk")
  
• Boomdakka Snazzwagon: 4-wheeled wagon, the ideal blend of speed and dakka, with fire and smoke an' all! Dedd snazzy
  
• Boss pole: Status symbol amongst Orkz. An EC squad leader has one giving squad members various buffs based on the one equiped
  
• Brutal: Especially violent and deadly ("Gork is brutal, but kunnin')
  
• Choppa: An Orky sword ("I'ze added spikey bitz ta me choppa so itz moar killy")
  
• Choppy / Shooty / Killy: Means something dangerous or lethal ("Me shoota iz ded killy")
  
• Dakka: Firepower, guns, bullets ("Needz moar dakka!")
  
• Ded: The orky spelling of "Dead". Can mean deceased or very, depending on context ("Dis axe is ded choppy")
  
• Deffkilla Wartrike: 3-wheeled bike, the brawlin' assassin. Get in close, krump 'em wiv ya klaw an' get back out again!
  
• Digganobz: Traditionally, feral humanoids who like to think they are Orkz. Often used as an insult to imply someone isn't a real Ork ("Dat grot 'ent nuffin but a stinkin' digganob!")
  
• Duff: Another word for hitting or beating ("We'ze gonna duff 'em up gud")
  
• Dust up: A fight ("I luvz me a dust up!")
  
• 'Ee / 'Eel: Orky shorthand for "He" or "He'll" ("''Ee shudn't 'av done dat! 'Eel feel dat in mornin'!")
  
• Ee'z: The Orky spelling of "He Has" or "He Is" ("Ee'z gunna get 'iz teef smashed in!")
  
• 'Ere we go!: An Orky battle cry, usually shouted in triplicate ("'Ere we go! 'Ere we go! 'Ere we go!")
  
• Fer: The same as "for" ("Orkz iz ment fer fightin' an' winnin'")
  
• Flash: Something fancy or expensive  ("Look at me flash boss!")
  
• Gerroff: Get off me ("Gerroff, ya git!")
  
• Get da boot in!: Kick someone, like the defensive bash. Primarily used to twunt someone in the jubbliez ("Dunt let dat git keep 'ittin' ya! Get da boot in, ya grot!")
  
• Get stukk in: Get involved in a fight ("Come on ya grotz, get stukk in!")
  
• Get yer legz on: Run, or be told to hurry up ("Get yer legz on or yer gonna miss da trukk!")
  
• Gettin' shot up!: Being shot at, taking fire ("Boss! We'ze gettin' shot up!"
  
• Git / Gitz: Primary used as a slang term for gretchin / snotlings, but often used as a minor insult to other Orkz implying they are small and runty ("Listen up gitz!, I'ze got a plan!")
  
• Gitface: Minor insult Orkz often use to refer to each other ("Oi! Gitface!")
  
• Giz an 'and: The Orky way to say "Give us a hand", a request for help ("Giz an 'and 'ere Boss!")
  
• Gob: Mouth. If you hear this word you're either being told to shut yours, or asked to look at someone else's snazzy gear ("Oi, shut yer stinkin' gob, ya runt!")
  
• Gonna: Going to ("I'ze gonna eat yer 'ead!")
  
• Gork: One of the two Ork deities. Gork is brutal, but cunning ("Gork iz bestest!")
  
• Gretchin / Snotling: Smaller race of greenskins subserviant to Orkz. Not included in EC, but used as an insult against other Orkz ("Look at dat runty git! 'Ee lookz like a gretchin!")
  
• Grot / Grotz: Someone worse than you, especially used to describe gretchin or other lesser races. ("Get in da trukk, ya grotz!")
  
• Grot Mega Tank: Grot-powered artillery at it's finest. Dedd killy up close, watch out for da ram!
  
• Gubbinz: General "stuff" or the specific workings of something ("Go see da Mek. He'll fix yer gubbinz up real gud")
  
• Gud: The orky spelling of "Good" ("Da boss's plan iz well gud")
  
• Gumph: A lot of talk ("Wotz all dis gumph?")
  
• Jibbliez / Jubbliez: Private parts / groin area ("I twunted dat grot right in da jubbliez!")
  
• Jobz a guddun: Confirming to your Warboss or squad leader that you've completed your orders ("Dat trukk you wanted, jobz a guddun, Boss!")
  
• Keep yer eyez on: To be on the lookout ("Keep yer eyez on boyz! Shout when yer seez one of dere trukks!")
  
• Klans: Subfactions of Orkz. "Bad Moons", "Blood Axes", "Deathskulls", "Evil Sunz", "Goffs", "Snakebites" or "Freebootas"
  
• Kommando: Highly skilled and specifically sneaky Ork unit, trained in the art of stealth and disruption. Available as an Elite unit in EC, but it costs 25000 RTC credits, which is essentially worth real money, the amount will vary in your region's currency. Also worth pointing out this can only be used once in any specific match!
  
• Knowz wotz wot: How Orkz imply they understand something or are good at something ("Da URTY boyz knowz wotz wot!")
  
• Krump / Stomp / Bash / Twunt: Hit, hurt or kill ("I iz gonna krump 'iz face right in!")
  
• Kunnin': Cunning. To be sneaky and smart ("Mork iz kunnin', but brutal")
  
• Kustom: The Orky spelling of "Custom" ("Look at me kustom shoota Boss!")
  
• Kustom Boosta Blasta: 4-wheeled wagon, heavy dakka an' a fancy jump!
  
• Kwestchun: The Orky spelling of "Question" ("So many kwestchunz, me 'ead 'urtz")
  
• Lern / Lernin': The Orky spelling of "Learn" or "Learning", generally something Orkz tend to avoid ("Datz yer problem, too much lernin' an' not enuff fightin'!")
  
• Listenin' gear: Ears. Use them to listen for orders or incoming wheels ("Oi! Shut yer gob an' get yer listenin' gear round dis plan!")
  
• Looksee: An Orky way to say "Have a look at something" ("Oi gitz! Go 'av a looksee ovva dere an' see if dere'z any 'Umie grotz!")
  
• Loot: The wargear and shiniez Orkz collect after a battle ("Come on boyz, letz 'av all dat loot!")
  
• Loota Boyz: These Orkz tend to have the biggest guns. Lots of Dakka, but this slows them down considerably. Capable to laying down supressing covering fire, or taking out enemy tanks depending on the loadout chosen.
  
• Looted Wagon: Looted artillery. Slow, but 'its dedd 'ard, especially the sacrificial grot-propelled rokkit
  
• Lootin': Scavenging for loot on the battlefield ("Shootin', choppin', lootin' winnin'!")
  
• Me: Often, but not always, interchangable with "My" ("Me 'ead urtz Boss!")
  
• Mek: The Ork engineer / mechanic unit. Responsible for building, upgrading and maintaining Ork weaponry and vehicles. Not available in EC
  
• Ment: The Orky spelling of "Meant" ("Orkz iz ment fer fightin' an' winnin'")
  
• Moar: The Orky spelling of "More" ("Needz moar dakka!")
  
• Mork: The other of the two Ork deities. Mork is cunning, but brutal ("Nah you grot! Mork iz bestest!")

(Continuing on from above. I had no idea there'd be so many Orky words and phrases to add that I would exceed the maximum character limit for a single section!)

• Mostest: Even more than the most ("I'ze got the mostest teef!")
  
• Mouf: The Orky spelling of "Mouth". When it's not being referred to as a "gob", it's still just a "mouf" ("If you 'ent careful, I'ze gunna smash dem teef right outta yer mouf!")
  
• Mukkin' about!: Being lazy, wasting time, not doing what you're supposed to, not taking stuff seriously ("We wudn't 'av lost da zoggin' trukk if dem stoopid gitz wern't mukkin' about!")
  
• Namby pamby: Insult meaning weak, puny, or just something too civilized ("We 'ent got no time fer countin' or uvva namby pamby rubbish like that! Too busy fightin'!")
  
• Nob: Veteran Ork units. More experienced and better equiped than a standard boy. In EC you can eventually unlock these "veteran" units for each class type. They have 400 extra loadout points available, but it is worth pointing out they can only be used once in any specific match!
  
• Noggin: Another word for head ("Da Boss iz gonna bash me noggin in!")
  
• Oi!: What Orkz shout at each other for attention ("Oi! Wot you lookin' at?")
  
• Oi! Oi! Oi!: A common Orky greeting ("Oi! Oi! Oi! Da 'Urty Nobz iz 'ere!")
  
• 'Oomiez / 'Umiez: Humans, in EC it refers to the Space Marines ("Krump dem 'oomie gitz!")
  
• Orky: The way Orkz like things ("Letz make dis base proppa orky!")
  
• Ov: The Orky spelling of "Of" ("Da URTY clan iz da bestest ov da best!")
  
• Painboy / Mad Dok: The Orkz healing unit. Referred to in EC purely as "Painboy"
  
• Pansy / Poncey: Weak or puny, usually used to describe the enemy, especially Eldar ("Look at dat pansy Eldar git. Iz shoota lookz all poncey")
  
• Pointy eared gitz: Eldar ("Dem pointy eared gitz iz a bit puny ent dey")
  
• Proppa: The Orky spelling of "Proper", meaning "Very" ("Me new shoota iz proppa snazzy!")
  
• Red paint job: Referring to the Orky belief that red makes things go faster ("Yer trukk iz rubbish! It needz a red paint job")
  
• Red wunz go fasta: The Orky mantra based on red paint jobs ("Me trukkz alwayz da first to da fight cuz red wunz go fasta!")
  
• Rekk: Orky spelling of "Wreck" ("I'ze gunna rekk dat tank up gud!")
  
• Rexum: Further Orky shorthand for "wrecks them" ("I luvz da way da Warboss rexum, datz why ee'z da Warboss!")
  
• Rokkit: The Orky spelling of "Rocket". Either in weaponized or transport form
  
• Rong: The Orky spelling of "Wrong" ("You iz doin' it rong, ya git!")
  
• Rubbish: Something is bad, like trash or garbage in American terms ("Dat plan iz rubbish!")
  
• Rukk: A fight ("Letz av a good rukk boyz!")
  
• Rukkatrukk Squigbuggy: 4-wheeled wagon, keepin' da bitz safe an' well fed wiv squigs while keepin' da kitz away wiv mines.
  
• Runt / Runty: Small or weak. Orkz see all other races as runty but also use the word to insult each other ("You iz so runty, iz you even a real Ork?")
  
• Sez: The Orky spelling of "Says" ("When da Boss 'ent 'ere, 'ee sez you listenz ta me!")
  
• Shiniez: Ork trophies. The Warboss will want to keep the bestest shiniez for himself ("Da Boss sez you best stomp dem gitz an' bring 'im da bestest shiniez, or 'eel eat yer 'ead!")
  
• Shokkjump Dragsta: 4-wheeled wagon, so fast it warpz! Powerful sniper, so keep dis git up close!
  
• Shoota: What Orkz call their guns. The bigger the better ("Look at me new shoota, itz got loadz ov dakka!")
  
• Shoota Boy: One of the two standard Ork infantry units. Favours guns over close combat, but always has a rudementary melee weapon to fall back on. In EC this unit can capture objectives.
  
• Skivin' / Skyvin': Being lazy or shirking one's duties ("Dose skyvin' grotz iz runnin' away!")
  
• Skraga: Orky word for a verteran ("Da Warboss iz a right skraga!")
  
• Skrap: Yet another word for a fight. Orkz have a lot of these ("Dem 'oomiez iz up fer a skrap!")
  
• Slugga: The Ork equivalent of a pistol ("Shootaz iz fer pansiez. Not enuff chop! A slugga iz all I need so I can do me sum cuttin' too!)
  
• Slugga Boy: One of the two standard Ork infantry units. Favours getting stuck in over just plain shooting. Will always have something dead choppy, but may trade in a pistol for a shield if he needs to be a bit more tanky. In EC this unit can capture objectives.
  
• Snazz / Snazzy: Flash. Something fancy or expensive ("Me golden gob iz ded snazzy!")
  
• Snikk: Execute or assassinate ("Dunt just down 'em, rememba ta snikk 'em an' all!")
  
• Spikey bitz: The dangerous bits Orks add to everything, you know, to make it more killy ("Yer 'ard boyz armour needz moar spikey bitz!")
  
• Spikey boyz: Chaos Marines ("Dem spikey boyz put up a gud rukk!")
  
• Shpaysh muhreen: The Orky pronounciation of "Space Marine" ("Gerroff me ship, Shpaysh muhreen!")
  
• Squig: All purpose creature farmed by Orkz. Used as attack pets, food, leather, or just insults. Beyond "Targetting Squig" shoulder armour or "Squig Leather" armour set and bag these aren't really included in the game ("Dat git 'ent gud enuff ta feed to me squigz")
  
• Squigwig: Nickname for a "hair squig" sometimes worn on the head by Orkz ("Da Boss'z squig wig lookz ded snazzy")
  
• Stikkbombz: What Orks call frag grenades ("Incommin' stikkbombz, boyz!")
  
• Stikky bombz: Orky AV grenades
  
• Stoopid: The Orky spelling of "Stupid" ("Dat git'z so stoopid, ee'z 'oldin 'iz choppa da wrong way!")
  
• Stormboy: The Orky jump assualt class. Straps a "rokkit" to their backs and hopes for the best!

(Continuing on from above again!)

• Teef: Literally, teeth. Orkz collect them and use them as currency ("I wantz da teef!")
  
• Trukk: Standard ork transport ("Get in da trukk boyz!")
  
• Urty: Something painful or dangerous ("Me axe is so choppy, itz ded urty!")
  
• Waaagh!: The Ork mantra or philosophy. Things work because Orkz believe they do. It's complicated but a good guide can be found here[wh40k.lexicanum.com]. Otherwise it may just refer to war, a fight, a call to arms, or something they love to shout ("Da warboss reckonz we iz gonna av a gud Waaagh on our andz")
  
• Wanna: Orky shorthand for "Want To" ("You wanna watch yer mouf or da Boss will 'ear ya!")
  
• Warband: What Orkz would call the EC guild system
  
• Warboss / Boss: The leader of an Ork warband or entire Waaagh! ("Gashmangla Rexum iz da bestest Warboss on Arkhona")
  
• Warpy: Another nickname for Chaos ("I see'z sum warpy gitz Boss!")
  
• Wazza: An Orky word for speed, or to go fast ("Me red trukk'z got plenty wazza!")
  
• Weirdboy: The Ork race's psyhic class unit. Not available in EC
  
• Werk: The Orky spelling of "Work" ("Dis looted shoota dunt werk! Poncey Eldar rubbish!")
  
• Wheelz: Ork verbal shorthand for vehicles ("Da beakiez 'az brought wheelz Boss!")
  
• Wot: The Orky way of saying "What" ("Wot? 'Ent ya gun any more shooty?")
  
• Writ: The Orky word that covers "Write", "Written" and "Wrote" ("'Oo writ dis 'ere guide? 'Eez a zoggin' genius!")
  
• Wurdz: Words, which believe it nor not, you're reading right now ("Stoopid elvez, dey 'az got wurdz fer everyfing!")
  
• Ya / Yer: The same as "you" and "your" ("Yer choppa ent choppy enuff, ya grot")
  
• Yez: The Orky spelling of "Yes" (see below)
  
• Yez Boss!: Your default response to anything your Warboss tells you
  
• Yonkz: A long time. Remember, Orkz don't count so well, so this could be anything longer than 5 seconds! ("It'z bin yonkz since I krumped me a spikey boy!")
  
• Zakly: The Orky spelling of "Exactly" ("I'ze counted an' derez zakly lotz ov 'em Boss")
  
• Zog / Zoggin': The ork equivalent of a swear word ("Get in da zoggin trukk, ya useless gitz!")

There are some serious things to take into account when naming your Ork. Strangely, the general naming structure for an Ork is both simple yet complex at the same time. The easiest way to describe it would be that a "good" Ork name generally follows one or more points from the following template:

• Try to include a body part
  
• Try to include an act of violence (preferably horrendous violence)
  
• Try to include something that makes you sound big, tough or impressive
  
• Try to include something that makes you sound wounded or impaired by battle
  
• Try to include an insult of some sort
  
• Be fast and loose with the spelling to create something that sounds equally guttural and violently killy

So long as your name contains something that meets at least one, or ideally a combination of two or more of the above pointers, you should be well on your way to sounding suitably intimidating and killy.

I'll give you a few examples now of Orkz I've already created in the past, either for online gaming, or naming specific boyz in my 40k model army. I know I can't stop you, but please use these names as inspiration and don't just copy them:

• Gashmangla Rexum (Obviously, that's my name as author of this guide)
  
• Nobrot Saksplitta
  
• Rotgrowla Snatchteef
  
• Skarface Runtpunta
  
• Big Nob Gitsplitta

and so on...

Your name should be as unique as you are, and not just be a copy of some famous name you recognize from Orky lore. It should strike fear into the hearts of your enemies, while simultaneously inspiring your allies. Ideally it will also make both teams laugh IRL at your wittiness, cunning and brutality.

This section will be relatively short. Counting is not really an Ork's strong point. Orkz lack the "namby pamby" brain power required to count high, and they aren't too fond of "lernin'" either. As a result, the way an Ork counts can be essentially and simply summarized like this:

• 1 or "Wun"
  
• 2 or "Too"
  
• 3 or "Free"
  
• 4 or "Forr"
  
• 5 or "Fyve"

Anything higher than this is just "'ordz", "lotz" or "loadz". Numbers bigger than 5 are just too much for an Ork's brain to quantify, so don't bother trying.

With regards to placings / rankings, they can be broken down as follows:

• First becomes "Furst"
  
• Second becomes "Sekund"
  
• Third becomes "Fird"
  
• Fourth becomes "Forf"
  
• Fifth becomes "Fyff"

As per above, anything more than this is higher than an Ork can count to anyway, so it doesn't even register.

Being a Warboss is a different beast entirely. You need to have digested and mastered all of the above guide, then crank that dial right up to 11 (I realise you can only count to 5, but stay with me here). You need to be louder, shoutier, and more brash than the other Orkz, but most importantly, you need to have a good arsenal of witty insults or vicious threats to throw about at friend and foe alike.


Generally, when a Warboss is talking to shouting at you, it means one of four main things:

• He is specifically telling you to DO something
  
• He is specifically telling you NOT to do something
  
• He is hurling abuse at you because he's the Warboss, and he can
  
• Any combination of one or more of the above

Whichever reason it may be, expect to be threatened and / or insulted. Remember though, that this is Warhammer and not a downtown street alley on the wrong side of the tracks. The abuse shouldn't be a showering of "F" or "C" bombs. Your insults and threats need to be colourful, creative, and most of all, violent enough to be suitably Orky. The key thing to remember is not to take any of it personally outside of the game.

Ork insults will fall into one of a few types of categories:

• Implying the target is too small or too runty
  
• Implying the target is too weak or too puny
  
• Implying the target is too concerned about personal hygiene or being "all fancy"
  
• Implying the target does more thinking than fighting
  
• Implying the target's weapon isn't shooty or choppy enough
  
• Implying the target is no better than [INSERT RACE OR CREATURE OF CHOICE HERE]

Whilst I won't do all the work for you (half of the fun of all this is coming up with the funniest / Orkiest things to shout!), I will give you some examples of the kinds of instructions a Warboss will likely be shouting, with a little spattering of my own Orky brain spilling out onto the screen.

• Calling for more boyz on a capture point ("I BETTA START SEEIN' MOAR BOYZ ON DA CAPTURE POINT, OR I'ZE GONNA CHOP YER FEET OFF AN' MAKE YER RUN BAKK TO DA TRUKK!"
  
• Making sure someone even gets a trukk in the first place ("WHY IZ I WALKIN'? IF YER DUNT BRINGZ ME A TRUKK, RIGHT NOW, I'LL EAT YER 'EAD!")
  
• Calling for AV to take out enemy transports ("WHY 'ENT NOBODY TAKEN OUT DEM ENEMY WHEELZ, YA GROTZ! GET ME SUM TANKBUSTAZ, PRONTO, OR I'LL MAKE YER INSIDEZ BECOME YER OUTSIDEZ!")
  
• Trying to reclaim a location from the enemy ("IF WE DUNT GET OUR BITZ BAKK FROM DEM RUNTY GROTZ DEN I'ZE GONNA SMASH ALL YER TEEF IN, BUY MESELF SUMFING SNAZZY, DEN BASH YER 'EADZ IN WIV IT!")
  
• Rallying the troops, the only way a Warboss knows how ("'OO LET ALL DESE RUNTY PANSIEZ IN MY TRUKK? YOU 'ENT NO BETTA DAN DEM STINKIN' ELDAR! I FORT YOU WUZ MENT TA BE ORKZ! NOW GET OUT DERE, SHOW ME YA WAAAGH FACE 'AN KRUMP 'EM GUD AN' PROPPA!")

From time to time you may encounter situations where a Warboss (me especially) will happily take all the credit for a plan when it goes well. It's nothing personal, it's just that Ork boyz are too runty to have good plans like the Boss does. When this happens it is usally done in your typical, comical Orky fashion. If your plans gets stolen by the Warboss, just roll with it.

• "DATZ A GUD PLAN! I'M GLAD I FORT OF IT!"

Likewise, when a plan goes South, expect the Warboss to shirk the blame at a moments notice.

• "'OO'Z RUBBISH IDEA WUZ DAT ANYWAYZ? IT WUZ SO STOOPID IT MAKEZ ME 'EAD 'URT JUST FINKIN' ABOUT IT!

In closing, I would say that being a Warboss is not for everyone. For some it's too much to take charge all the time. For others, they are just not that comfortable being all shouty. If you do decide to take up the challenge though, I salute you. The green tide needs more leaders on Arkhona. Just be warned however, that I often end up shouting this to ALL Orkz when I see them on the battlefield:

Somehow this is the highest rated guide for EC, and the only one so far to have reached a 5 star rating!

My sincere thanks go out to anyone who has actually taken the time to read this madness.

Even bigger thanks go out to anyone who has rated and / or favourited.

Finally, the biggest thanks of all are reserved for anyone who actually helped me with additional words, phrases, or any other information that I would have otherwise missed.

As a side note, much love to you if you were one of the few people who have tried continually proof read this guide for me. Believe me, it's really hard to spellcheck something where 60% or more is already spelled incorrectly on purpose. That's a whole lot of red squiggly lines on your document.

Contributors have been listed below, although in some cases I have just specified the online community the source came from (with clicky link where appropriate). This is to ensure I don't potentially single out any specific name here against that person's will:

• [URTY] - Klunge Gunge
  
• [URTY] - Grotstomper
  
• [URTY] - Mudslag Kuntpunta
  
• [CROM] - GROT2019
  
• [CROM] - G-nub
  
• Da "Speed Freeks"[discord.gg] Official Discord
  
• "Warhammer 40k - Orks"[www.facebook.com] Facebook group
  
• "Warhammer 40k"[www.facebook.com] Facebook group
  
• "Orks" Sub-Reddit community group
  
• "Warhammer" Sub-Reddit community group
  
• "Warhammer40k" Sub-Reddit community group
  
• "40k" Sub-Reddit community group
  
• "Games Workshop" Sub-Reddit community group
  
• "The Templin Institute" YouTube Gaming Channel

Copyright 2017 [Grant Miller] This item is not authorized for posting on Steam, except under the Steam account named Gashmangla Rexum