Dear diary, it's been around 2 years since I last wrote but alas, I felt like my adventures needed publication

Episode 1:
https://steamproxy.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=973456620

Episode 2:
https://steamproxy.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1077546471

> Be invader at Irithyl
> Get frequent summons, rekt everyone because they are casuls
oldfağ.avi
> Be using STR/DEX build with Artorias's GS
> Be summoned to a guy at the first bonfire
> Instantly summons purple phantom
> He is using sorcery
> He quickly realizes that sorcery is not viable in PvP and starts to run aroud the rotunda
> Purple phantom arrives, hill him in 3 hits, must have been underlevelled
> We are still running, he is spamming spells, none of which hit me
> Summons same guy again, he dies in 3 hits again
> Still running
> This literally goes on for 20 minutes, he summons the purple friend of his,
he dies, he keeps running around
> Get hit a few times eventually
> My health is at ~40%
> Host decides it would be a good idea to fling his crystal rapier at me,
which does no damage but lets me catch up
> Purple guy summoned for like the 14th time
dforeffort.chr
> Reach Host
> My hearth is pounding, now is my chance
> He is wearing super light clothing, barely any defense
> Give him a good R1 spam spanking
> Dies in 3 hits
> mfw E-penís has grown 4 milimeters

> Be not very happy with your DS3 online experience
> Decide to play with Dark Souls 1 again
> Start new character
> All is good, kill the Taurus Demon and try getting past the Hellkite Dragon
> Be invaded by red phantom
> It is white
> Realize there is no untrue white ring in DS1
holdup.xls
> Be invaded by a "white phantom"
> Phantom starts attacking the Hellkite Dragon, cuts its tail and kills it









> MFW some people have been playing DS1 for 10 years by now and got so bored that they started creating cheats to put themselves into the games of other people so that they can help them even when they don't want to be helped
> The sad fate of the guy who invaded my world makes me reevaluate my decisions
> Decide to play Dark Souls 2 instead

> In DS1 as well
> At the forest, trying to get some PvP matches
> Using some sort of gay Zweihander build
> No summons
> A few minutes pass
> Still nothing
> Finally get summoned
yeahboi.webm
> Get into casual fight, hit opponent, he hits me etc
> Another dude gets summoned
> Get immediately teleported into a backstabbing animation which turns me into a dragon and gives me every single buff and debuff in the game, incluting the insect-sack-head
> The madman starts flying around the area while dropping 20-50 prism stones per second
> The absolute beast reaches the cliff at which point every stone starts emmiting a loud shrieking sound upon impact, it's all very pleasant believe me
> The celestial creature stops and after a couple seconds of standing there menacingly, manages to pop open his Prima Strategy Guide to superhacking Dark Souls ™
> The deific figure throws a "Hello" carving on the ground but instead of a friendly voice, an army of treants spills out of the spot, some clipping into each other while others are getting launced into the air at incredible speeds, some even clip through the ground and fall to their deaths.
> Stunned, me and the host start butchering the treants
>After a while we would try to get back to fighting but cant harm each other
> Scroll through the item bar and see that I can drink Estus and use items as if I were the host, can even send myself back with the black crystal, I'm also not blue colored now
> An idea is born and I start heading to the boss room of Sif
> Actually able to open the door as a blue phantom
> "Host has begun critical battle, returning to your world"
> Have to Alt+Tab to close the game bc stuck in infinite loading screen
> Maybe the best multiplayer experience I've had in a DS game but avoid the forest from now on