your journey begins in firelonk shrine after getting out of that crazy place by taxi crow you may find a girl here
but she is not the best grill, she doesn't even talk unless you stab your boi lautrec in bore londo

after ringing the bell of the gargoyles and heading downstairs you will be met with a hot babe
a babe of this caliber is too much for you though, slay her and move on as she is NOT the best grill

her sister also a cutie downstairs but you need special amazing ring to talk to her which is pointless because she thinks you are her hot sister so just slay her for her sick firekeeper soul and move on as she is NOT the best grill


also don't forget this ham who might invade you, she's a little meanie head so she is NOT the best grill


she's also got some cousins in the sewers who can cook up a solid meal, they don't like you though and their dogs aren't the nice ones so they are NOT the best grills

after you ring both bells you might wanna explore the sick cool forest next to that hunk of a blacksmith instead of the snek fortress so do that, after dodging some silly grass people and maybe stone people you might find a hidden summon sign on a stairwell that will allow you to meet rave queen beatrice

she's cool and helps you slay the ez butterfree but that's about all you might need her later though for the fore kongs but keep in mind that she's NOT the best grill

if you head downstairs like the original right when you first entered the forest you might slay a hydra, after doing that take the stressful walk all the way to the cove at the end of its area and save and quit, a crystal golem will appear slay that fool and dusk of oooooooooooooooolacile will pop out offering you some sick spells and stuff (these two gals love their magic), she teaches you proper manners as well, but otherwise this is still NOT the best grill

you crazy man why are you even thinking about this woman, I know you are stop being crazy, HER MOSS DOES NOT MAKE HER BEST GRILL


alright but jokes aside you'll probably head to bore londo at this point, where after getting rekt by some tall lean giant knights you'll meet this curious gal
she's nice and upgrades your estus but apparently she's supposed to be really ugly according to her armor description so she's NOT the best grill

anyways after performing your sick parkour skills and doing a rotation you might be able to locate him or her or whatever the heck but only with really special ring from the catacombs

anyways this gal or guy or whatever speaks pretty mean to you and bullies you if you enter their turf so just slay them and take the sunlight blade because I know you buff scrub, also this is NOT the best grill

after dealing with some pretty mean archers and most likely getting rekt by some dudes with cool armor you'll probably have to fight pikachu and snorlax, not too bad I think you get some rewa- MOTHER OF PEARL

UH UH UH GUYS SHE'S NOT REAL SO SHE'S NOT BEST GRILL BUT REST ASSURED EVEN IF SHE WAS THERE WAS NO WAY SHE'D BE BEST GRILL, compose yourself take her sick bowl and head forward, but I think I'm missing something, oh well

bruh, what are these things there's no way in hell these are grills. don't kill the two standing in a corner they don't do anything. whatever these things are, they definitely beyond a reasonable doubt are NOT the best grill

along the way on your quest to kill the four lords and get their really warm souls you might encounter some other fair maidens who's appearance depends on your actions throughout the game

if you head in the really dark tomb of the giants you might get pushed down a hole by some sus man with no hair afterwards you'll catch this lovely lady hanging around

kill her childhood friends and she pops up in the church next to the lean blacksmith, make sure to kill the dude with the dumb haircut and THICC armor in firelink shrine though so he doesn't kill her, she's pretty nice and teaches you wrath of the gods (I know you're going faith/dex), she also teaches you how to go on one knee and praise god but I dunno that's just NOT best grill material, but be nice to this girl she's been through a lot and don't buy all her miracles either or you'll catch her at the nerd's archives hollow, wait speaking of the nerd's archives

if you help out onionbro on his quest through the world by getting rid of boulders, killing tall dudes in cool armor, telling him you opened the gates of the sneks and having him leave for the blightbog down deep below his daughter pops up in the nerd's archive in front of the crystal caves inside some gold crystal golem like dusk, slay the golem and out pops the oniongal

she a cute and if you follow her and her dad around you can get the legendary slab which will bring out the best in your uchigatana, but she takes way too much effort to reach so she's defintely NOT the best grill, be nice to her though too she loses something important

if you thought pyromancer was a good idea and you have a +10 pyromancy flame this chick will appear in blightown against a column outside the hot spider babe's boss area

she teaches you really good pyromancies and thanks you for slaying the bed of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, she also makes your pyromancy flame even stronger which is nice but she's like all the others she just is NOT best grill material even if she does bring the heat

there's like two girls in the past which you can access if you kill a crystal golem at the start of the nerd's archives and bring the broken pendant to where you found dusk

as soon as you beat up some dog cat goat looking thing you catch your grandma

she sells dusk's stuff and gives you some shrooms for beating manus up but she's NOT best grill material, for obvious reasons

after you beat up some dude named artorias or something and return to his boss area after reloading his girlfriend will show up

you can give her artorias' soul for a banana blade but you can also kill her for the banana blade and her armor which looks sweet, she clearly likes someone else so she's definitely NOT best grill material

well that's all I guess, but we haven't found the best grill yet, I checked far and wide and I just couldn't find her, even though I tried my best.......wait, there's a doll where you started the game at if you return by taxi crow? well, what does it do? it allows entry to a new area? well I guess I'll check it out

if you take that weird doll looking thing to a painting in bore londo it forces you inside, this place is harsh and pretty cold. take a wander for a bit and you'll find this weird fog wall, I wonder what's inside















oh LORD SHE'S PERFECT HER HAIR HER EYEBROWS HER FEET HER FLUFFY TAIL EVERYTHING IS A 10/10 THIS IS THE BESTEST GRILL ALL YEARS ALL GAMES CONGRATULATIONS LAD YOU'VE FOUND THE PERFECT GRILL, but now you must go.........

thank you for reading my nonsense I'm glad you somehow survived reading that without getting brain cancer, this is essentially just a priscilla worshipper's weird log made for fun, if you enjoyed it make sure to leave a decent rating pls. I hope I did not offend any of you by calling your waifus not the best grill, to each his/her own. farewell and good luck finding the best fair maiden out there.
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