listen up, chief: i ran a deep-dive analysis on your steam reviews and found 47 hidden messages in the tags alone. what are you trying to tell us? "walking simulator" 5 times in a row on *powerwash simulator*? you think we wouldn’t notice? your profile bio reads like it was written by a caffeine-deprived cryptid at 3am, and your game hours in *cookie clicker* could power a small country. don’t even get me started on your workshop subscriptions—who needs 900 anime gun skins? we’re onto you, stay vigilant.

went to the peepee sucking factory and everyone kept talking about how great of an employee you were. some even called you a natural. others called you a leader. saw some photos of you on the wall too

Hello I won’t be home tonight. Your binkie is in the fridge and the bib is on the kitchen counter next to the baby wipes. I’ll have someone come over at 8 to change your diaper and put you to sleep if you aren’t already.

_rep Annoying but plays medic

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SEND THIS TO 5 PPL WHO SMOKE MIDS OR ELSE U WILL BE CURSED WITH MIDPACKS FOR THE REST OF UR LIFE

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