𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗮 𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗺𝗮𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵 𝗙𝗣𝗦, 𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝗽𝗶𝗰 𝘄𝗶𝗻𝘀! 𝗠𝗮𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝘆, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗶𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝘆. 𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗺𝗮𝘀! 🎮🎄🚀

Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The
men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long
and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the
men are in the dark.

SHREK
This is the part where you run away.
(The men scramble to get away. He laughs.)
And stay out! (looks down and picks
up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted.
Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and
throws the paper over his shoulder.)

Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.

SHREK
Yes, well, actually, that would be a
giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse.
They'll make a suit from your freshly
peeled skin.

MEN
No!

SHREK
They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the
jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's
quite good on toast.

MAN1
Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!
(waves the torch at Shrek.)

NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME

MAN1
Think it's in there?

MAN2
All right. Let's get it!

MAN1
Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that
thing can do to you?

MAN3
Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's
bread.

Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his
day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go
after the ogre.

SHREK
Once upon a time there was a lovely
princess. But she had an enchantment
upon her of a fearful sort which could
only be broken by love's first kiss.
She was locked away in a castle guarded
by a terrible fire-breathing dragon.
Many brave knights had attempted to
free her from this dreadful prison,
but non prevailed. She waited in the
dragon's keep in the highest room of
the tallest tower for her true love
and true love's first kiss. (laughs)
Like that's ever gonna happen. What
a load of - (toilet flush)