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│▒┌──┘▒▒▒│
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░░██╗░░██╔══██╗██╔════╝██╔══██╗░
██████╗██████╔╝█████╗░░██████╔╝░
╚═██╔═╝██╔══██╗██╔══╝░░██╔═══╝░
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"I wish my rod was adjustable..." Every guy's rod is adjustable, you didn't know? Just shove a giant hex key up your butt. Turn clockwise to reduce, or anti-clockwise to enlarge. Just remember that the directions are reversed since you are reaching around behind you.