Fourth Wall Demolitionist's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2021 @ 10:21am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2021 @ 11:30am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 12:50pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2021 @ 3:47pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 4:35am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2021 @ 12:06pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2021 @ 4:34pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 4:38am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 12:48pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2021 @ 2:22pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2021 @ 3:36pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2021 @ 3:42pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2022 @ 10:45am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 12:56pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 6:28pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 1:07pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2021 @ 4:25pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 2:39pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2021 @ 2:59pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2021 @ 2:34pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2021 @ 4:27pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2021 @ 10:44am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 1:01pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 1:15pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2022 @ 1:13pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 2:21pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2021 @ 2:32pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2021 @ 3:41pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2021 @ 4:10pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2021 @ 2:59pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 5:23am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 1:50pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 12:55pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2021 @ 12:43pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 6:12pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2021 @ 2:33pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2021 @ 10:07am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2021 @ 1:35pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2021 @ 4:31pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2021 @ 10:35am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2021 @ 2:50pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 26 Oct, 2021 @ 4:22pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2021 @ 5:11pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 12:42pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2021 @ 2:32pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2021 @ 2:35pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 5:43am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2021 @ 2:04pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2021 @ 5:06pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2021 @ 3:09pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2021 @ 2:31pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2021 @ 4:34pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2021 @ 3:45pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2021 @ 2:20pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2021 @ 4:57pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 8 Nov, 2021 @ 1:12pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 2:02pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2022 @ 1:27pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 8 Nov, 2021 @ 1:04pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 3:17pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2022 @ 1:14pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2021 @ 4:00pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2021 @ 4:46pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

29 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

2 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

3 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

19 / 30