XxGoreillaxX's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2022 @ 8:21am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 3:15pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 6:01pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 8:45am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2022 @ 3:05pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 7:32pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 6:24am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 10:18am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 11:53am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 4 Jun @ 8:59am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 9:20am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 6:33pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 6:00am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 8:55am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 11:34am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 7:38am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 7:00am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 9:07am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 3:53pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 4 Jun @ 5:52pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 10:22am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 8:08pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 3:25pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 8:17pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 7:25am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 9:28am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 6:52am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 5:56pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 6:01pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 11:49am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 3:40pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 12:34pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 9:16am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 6:19am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 5 Jun @ 4:19pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 6:54pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 7:38pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 7:46pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2022 @ 8:43am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2022 @ 8:22am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 5:52pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 7:36pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 8:42am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 6:16am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 4 Jun @ 8:03am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 7:49pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 8:07am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 7:35am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 4 Jun @ 6:08pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 6:27am

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 4 Jun @ 8:51am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 4 Jun @ 3:45pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 4 Jun @ 5:47pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 12:14pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30