Gerard, this is Johnson from work. My apologies for the divorce with the mis-sus. I am here to tell you that I walked in on your child venting inside of the CEO's office. Your children have since and from here-on-out been banned from participating in 'bring your child to work' days.

The suspicious rascal is still among us, and we've had to call Child Protective Services, because he is ripping wires apart in the electrical room, and the receptionist has been found, or at least, just her legs; for that matter. Your child is an impostor among us, and we need to call a vote on how to handle this from a corporate perspective.

+rep Pretty sick if I do say so myself.