Hello. It has come to my attention that your profile potentially has the pointers I may need to resolve my issue. Approximately minutes I was on a walk in the Gover district, precisely the path along the Gover park band stand. However, at exactly 20:28, disaster struck when warm, brown sludge dripped down my legs. In horror, I looked down and almost fainted, as I realised my adult pro diapers (premium quality) had failed to hold the tsunami of faeces being expelled from Poseidon's abyss (a.k.a my butthole). I ran to the nearest bush, with tears running down my eyes. Fast forward to now, I am sat watching the local parents try and figure out what the rancid smell is that has been disturbing their children for the past 10 minutes. In my last moment of desperation before I performed flying scat attack at the local residents of the park, I remembered your profile. Please help. You're the last chance of survival I have. I'm begging. Please help -
Sincerely,
John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Wart- hunna