BATEMAN: You like Huey Lewis and the News?

ALLEN: Um, they're okay.

BATEMAN: Their early work was a little too new wave for my taste. But when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.

ALLEN: Hey, Halberstram?

BATEMAN: Yes, Allen?

ALLEN: Why are there copies of the Style section all over the place? Do you... Do you have a dog? A little chow or something?

BATEMAN: No, Allen.

ALLEN: Is that a raincoat?

BATEMAN: Yes, it is. In '87, Huey released this; Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip To Be Square". A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself. Hey, Paul!

Bateman murders Allen with an axe

BATEMAN: Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, you stupid bastard!