Hi. I'm Clint Webb, and I'm running for Senate. I have a short cropped haircut, a pretty enough yet accessible looking wife, and a newborn baby that I've dressed in a suit - to prove to you, that I mean business. For the last fifteen years, I've lived my life in such a bland, uncontroversial and repressed manner, that it's almost unnatural. Why? Because I've been preparing to be your representative since I was a child. Most well adjusted, sane men would be hesitant to take a job where their decisions would so drastically affect the lives of so many. Not me. I possess a sort of... sociopathic narcissism, that makes me think that I should be in charge of everyone - but all of that needs to start here, at home. In this beautiful state that I've grown to love, since I moved here eighteen months ago. Together, we can piggyback some of our state's legitimate needs onto my unquenchable lust for self-glorification. And that's a promise.

Here's an unflattering picture of my opponent. Here's a quote of his taken out of context. Oh - one more thing. I have a dog. I enlisted in the military for the minimum amount of time, in a position that would never see combat. Why? Well... because it would help me be your senator. I don't make friends, I make acquaintances. All of my motives are ulterior. I'm self-involved to the point of psychosis. My soul... is terrifying. And that's leadership. So this November, let's send Washington a message. And what is that message? "Hey, me."

how'd ur wife get pregnant?

what if it was p- ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ what the ♥♥♥♥ who's this gu

I bet my son's college funds on flaccid ♥♥♥♥ winning don't let me down

what if it was purple