Recent reviews by Legosaur645

Your puny bullets pale in comparison to the unmatched power of my two human feet.

It's not very good. The primary gameplay loop of combat and exploration was fun for a while, but by the time I was half-way through I felt that two-thirds of the game's mechanics were half-baked, and were too cumbersome and unnecessary to engage with.

Glory to Arstotzka

Made a rock bite the curb and took all of its money.

I WON.
I played Row Row Row Your Boat. I ran in a giant hamster wheel. I even pooped a pastry. In the end, it all made sense. I needed to achieve. I needed to win. And even though I got there with a a bit of stress, time-wasting, and lack of dignity, I achieved what few have done.
I CONQUERED.
But most importantly,
LIFE.
LOVE.
MISUNDERSTANDING
FUNNY NOSES.

'Ate Tyranids
'Ate 'Eretics
'Ate De Warp
Luv me Power Sword
Luv me 'Eavy Bolter
Luv me Codex Astartes
And above oll,
FOR DE EMPERAH,
simple as.

A true classic of the Xbox 360 era. While nothing in particular stands out about the game, except for the ship combat which is fantastic, everything is just good and fun to play. Overall it's a very good time from start to finish that wraps itself up neatly and nicely in a 50 hr package. It ain't perfect but I think its very much worth your time and serves as a nice breath of fresh air away from the septic tank that is "modern gaming".

"I may not be good, I may not be bad, But I sure as hell am crippled" - Cynte Endoparastic

Listen, I really liked the first game, I played through it twice. I think the whole "you have only one hand to do everything" concept is really cool. And the first game does is beautifully, but by God is this game not fun. The story is non-existent. The enemy design and placement is aggravating as hell. The levels, of which there are THIRTY, are tedious with ALL of them being "get off elevator, find and press button, get back on elevator." They're all just switch puzzles with very few or no checkpoints. Which just adds to the aggravation caused by enemies because if one kills you (which the do quickly), you're sent back to the start of the level. And to top it all off, most of the levels are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ pointless. They don't have any story (not even a audio of text log), or gear progression. Two thirds of the levels in this game could have been cut and it would not have made a difference at all.

I don't recommend this game. Even if you loved the first one, its just too boring and aggravating. If you want the Endoparasitic 2 experience, just play through the first game 5 times in one sitting. You'll probably have a better time.

Great game to just boot up, put on a video essay, podcast, or an audio book and just zone out for a few hours. A very fun, zen, and cathartic experience.

Got to shoot a Twitch Streamer.