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I caught this guy ♥♥♥♥ing my girlfriend last week. I’m still ♥♥♥♥♥♥ about it but there’s nothing I can do. She loves him. I knew she was acting weird because she kept staying out late and coming home with taco sauce on her blouse. During sex she’d scream to give her my five dollar foot long, but I’m only 3 inches and five dollars is way too much for what I’m giving. One day I came home to find her getting plowed against the wall by this dude. He had her hair in one hand and a taco bell cheesy gordita crunch in the other. I tried to fight him, but he slapped me so hard it broke every window in the house. This dude’s a stone cold pimp and I can’t do anything to hurt him, so I can only hope he breaks her heart one day like she broke mine.

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In a fight? Here is what you do, my friend.

Bring your chin down to protect your neck while continuing to stare in his eyes. Bring up your hands and say "I don't want no trouble ya hear". Flex your traps and core. Slightly bend your knees.

Here comes the important part. In a low voice begin to say "wolowolowolowolowolo" slowly increasing in volume. He should be surprised by now. Begin to sway side to side and loosen all facial muscles and your anal sphincter and your kegal muscle. By now you should be pretty loud and your opponent will have stepped back and appear visibly shaken.

Begin to piss and ♥♥♥♥ yourself and let your eyes roll to the back of your head. By now, you're chanting "WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO" at the top of your lungs.

He will run away. Everyone within a one mile radius will feel a terrifying presence within their soul.

Marvel as you ascend into your planar form.

Based? Based on what? on your ♥♥♥♥? Please shut the ♥♥♥♥ up and use words properly you ♥♥♥♥♥♥ troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn’t even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you’re always spewing random ♥♥♥♥ like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it’s funny like what? What the ♥♥♥♥ is funny about that do you think you’ll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said “♥♥♥” in the stage? HELL NO YOU ♥♥♥♥♥♥ IDIOT, so please shut the ♥♥♥♥ up and use words properly you dumb ♥♥♥♥♥

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