Recent reviews by Rat Bastard™

"This is the first actually good game we have made in years . Cut the team that made it immediately"
-Ubisoft

Jarvis , stroke it at a medium pace

how the ♥♥♥♥ are you even a solo dev , this guy doesn't miss

JRPGs peaked here

Half my time is fighting menus and it's still infinitely better than overwatch 2

Best PvE shooter since left 4 dead 2

I loved risk of rain 2 but i hated the original because it felt like nothing was dying and if you were unlucky with mobility items the game felt tideous . This ,however , has made alot of improvements to the original . thank the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lord for the dmg dealt/ received sliders before the start of the run , my ideal settings are 150% dmg dealt and 100% or 75% dmg received . The entire roster got some extra abilities and the new characters are fun to play . The game doesnt drop frames anymore when ♥♥♥♥ hits the fan and there are a million things on the screen . This is the ideal version of risk of rain 1 , and the things i found annoying in the original can now be changed if the player wants them to . If you are new to the series , this game is hard , so tweak that godsent dmg slider and jump in .

She be armoring my core till i Rubicon

Proximity voice chat is a gift from God and it's honestly my favorite feature

Pretend to ♥♥♥♥ yourself while dying , distract enemies by shouting "OY YOU , LOOK AT ME" and watch them die by your team
Bait people into stepping on your landmines , beg your teammates for a revive in the most obnoxious way possible

This is a sick joke by the devs to waste your time looking at loading screens and 53% loading error messages . It's a very funny prank , but not what i call a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ videogame that actually works .

Didn't get a single second of gameplay in
I am not a game dev so i dont know how hard making a game is , but i don't think being able to launch the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game is too much to ask , i also don't understand why even have a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ client in the first place , especially if it breaks the entire game

Fix yo ♥♥♥♥ and maybe ill try again , but most likely this game will never bounce back from this launch and the game dies on arrival

Don't waste your time like i did , go play BF4