i want your beans

>Be 18 year old (old ♥♥♥)
>Play Dota and other ♥♥♥♥
>Find this one guy who seems to be Russian but looks like he was born from a masterrace bukakke
>Scope him out to see if he is a causal
>Turns out he plays Dark Souls as a way to treat his anger, he gets angry often
>He just so happens to be short
>Play with him one day on Dota
>He gets angry
>He suddenly starts speaking fluent Russia

Point in time where I don't know what to do

>He takes midlane as Witch Doctor
>mfw when he wins us the game with 31/8/14

I once fought this man with nothing but a staff and a monkey, I beat him with a monkey and then he hit me with a hammer. Till this day I can't walk because the monkey joined his side and ganked me.

>mfw when it was a damn good game of Dota.

I want a hentai girl
For me
To make me happy
I want her so I can
Stop using my hand
Every single day
While watching anime

Just wanted to write this here so you remember the little piece of ♥♥♥♥ that I am.