I showed the Battlefield 5 reveal trailer to my Grandad. A man who fought in France. He said...

"Is that a female?" "Yes grandad" "Is that face paint?" "Yes grandad" "Does she have a prosthetic hand?" "Yes grandad"

He then took his glasses off as his eyes filled with tears and said...

"I lost so many friends in Europe during that war. They weren't ’friends’ at all. They were my brothers. And I miss them everyday."

He wiped his tears away and finished by saying...

"I'm sorry, I didnt see any women with claws wearing face paint....but I saw a lot of dead men. Is this what people think happened? Because it isnt."

I patted him on the head and simply told him...

"You're uneducated."

Do you have problems with the pH levels of your penis? Overly alkaline or acidic? Feeling the sexual frustration of wanting to shove your but not being able to find a hole? Well, fret no more! Over at F*cking Fantastic Farms, we grow the freshest of organic Giant Cucumbers, with no pesticides or chemicals! Simply cut a hole through according to the dimensions of your , and put your in. It's THAT simple. Customize the hole to your liking - loose or tight, it's your call! Our cucumbers will balance the pH levels AND moisturize your . Its juices are nutritious and are natural lubricants! These cucumbers are multipurpose and cater to all needs - to all the butt stimulation lovers out there, simply use the part being carved out of the cucumber to shove it up your ass! Done with the cucumber? Wash it and use it in your cooking for additional nutrients! Over at F*cking Fantastic Farms, we guarantee only pleasure. Order your Giant Cucumber today!

I sexually identify as a Nissan GT-R R35. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being able to outdrag other disgusting inferior supercars. People say to me that a person being a Japanese supercar is impossible and I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install 255/40 and 285/35 tires, 20 inch NISMO rims, a VR38DETT 3.8 litre DOHC all-aluminum V6 engine and titanium exhausts on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “GT-R" and respect my right to go fast and show off needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a motorphobe and need to check your car privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

哼哼哼 啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊

我的好товарищ