Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself.

A girl my friend knows let loose in casual conversation that she does what she called "The Ramp." She explained that "The Ramp" is when, while defecating, you partially submerge your hand in the toilet water at an angle so that the deuce hits your hand and then rolls into the water with nary a sound.

She does this so people won't know she's pooping. I thought this was a pretty crazy and unsanitary idea, but the blasé way she mentioned it gave me pause.

Is this common? Should I think twice before holding a girl's hand ever again?