https://www.reddit.com/user/ACuddlyPuppy/

I asked my mom if by any chance I was adopted. She replied: Hilarious. Why would we choose you?

Can you try little harder? I'm really getting bored!

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege.