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Manica, Mozambique 
Various signs in Poland:
Right turn toward immediate outside.
Go soothingly in the snow, as there lurk the ski demons.
Five o'clock tea at all hours.
In a men's washroom in Sidney:
Shake excess water from hands, push button to start,
rub hands rapidly under air outlet and wipe hands
on front of shirt.
-- Colin Bowles, San Francisco Chronicle
😵
Sattinger's Law:
It works better if you plug it in.
🤣
When I drink, *everybody* drinks!" a man shouted to the assembled bar patrons.
A loud general cheer went up. After downing his whiskey, he hopped onto a
barstool and shouted "When I take another drink, *everybody* takes another
drink!" The announcement produced another cheer and another round of drinks.
As soon as he had downed his second drink, the fellow hopped back
onto the stool. "And when I pay," he bellowed, slapping five dollars onto
the bar, "*everybody* pays!"
🙁